Snowdown Chaos
by Creator0fWords
Summary: What happens at the Institute for War when Snowdown rolls around? Some champions leave, others stay. But one things for sure: There will be chaos among those who stayed. What will happen? Shots? Kisses? Fights? Assassin ice cream fights? SECRET TV SHOW MARATHONING! Maybe everything. Chapter 21: Tv show spoilers and suspicious girlfriends...
1. Chaos and Ionians

**Chapter 1: Chaos and Ionians**

"LUX! ARE YOU THERE? LUX? LUX!" Someone yelled, pounding on her door.

Lux groaned and rolled over, refusing to get up. Not that she had a choice.

"LUUUX!" Sejuani screeched and bowled her door down. The blonde mage sat up and blinked multiple times. "Wha… Sejuani?"

The Winters Wrath sighed in relief. "You're here! Good. Now get up and meet in the hall!"

Lux groaned and fell back down onto her bed. "5 more minutes…"

Sejuani sighed. "Garen's back."

She bolted upright. "What? WHERE?" Lux jumped out of bed and quickly donned her armour. Within 30 seconds, she stood facing Sejuani in her broken doorway. "Take me to him!" She demanded. The Winters Wrath laughed. "Your brothers not here. Now come."  
Lux stared after Sejuani's retreating figure down the hall. _Tricked again._ She thought.

Lux exited her hallway to be greeted by nods from Leona, Kayle, Akali, Shen, and Ryze, each standing against the wall, expressions ranging from incredibly bored to incredibly pissed. There was nobody else coming in from the other 2 dorm halls.

"What's going on?" Lux asked Leona, who was standing nearest to her. She shrugged. "I don't know. All I know is that Sejuani charged down my door, screaming like a lunatic. I told her to calm down, but then she just left. And charged down your door."

Sejuani entered the small little circular room with four branching halls. "Alright. I've checked the West Wing and the East Wing. Someone else pull their weight around here." She said. Kayle snorted. "If we knew what the fuck you're doing, maybe we would help!" The angel exclaimed indignantly. Sejuani stalked up to her. "Listen here, _angel_." She spat. "Everybody else has left for Snowdown, except you lot. I've been instructed to find out who stayed and who left. Now somebody," She said, turning to the rest of the champions. "Better check the Noxian Wing and see who stayed." The North Wing, or better known as the Noxian Wing, was where all the Noxians had their rooms. Everybody else was mixed up, but they had wanted to stay together.

Obviously, nobody volunteered to go.

"Alright then, pansies. How about you, dear Lux."

Lux gaped. "Me? But… But..."

"NO BUTS! GET YOUR BUTT DOWN THERE NOW!" Sejuani roared, and Lux scurried down the hallway. "Everybody else, go get some breakfast."

As the remaining 4 champions followed the Freljordian into the mess hall, Leona stopped. "Hey… Sejuani? Come look at this."

There was a message, taped to the wall, which everybody else had missed.

_To the champions currently reading this letter,_

_It is Snowdown Break, therefore, any champion is allowed out to visit family, friends, or adventure someplace, but you are also allowed to return as you wish. If you choose to leave, please return by the end of two weeks time. There are some basic ground rules to follow if you choose to stay:_

_Keep the Ionians out of the kitchen, especially the fridge_

_Do not enter the Fields of Justice_

_Do not enter the Summoners building_

_Keep the minions in the dungeons_

_DO NOT ENTER THE NORTH WING (Unless you room there)_

Leona looked up at Sejuani. "Lux..."

Lux wandered down the dimly lit hallway for a bit before she got slammed into by a force.

"Oomph!" She sprawled out on the floor.

"Oops! So sorry Lux! Didn't see you there!" A happy voice chirped. Lux looked up into Teemo's eyes and grimaced. "You're a lot tougher than you look… Haha…"

Teemo looked concerned and extended a small furry paw to her. "Here, Lady of Luminosity."

Lux accepted the hand and stood up, towering over the yordle. "What are you doing in the North Wing, Teemo?" She inquired. The Swift Scout looked up at her. "The Noxians may all room here, but so do the yordles. The Noxian rooms are the furthest down the hall. Are you looking for something?"

The mage sighed. "Yeah. I'm supposed to check to see if there are any more people still left here in the North Wing."

Teemo grinned. "I will accompany you then!"

They walked down the hallway until they reached the end, lit by a single torch. They turned around, peeping through the cracks and listening for people on the other side.

"I hope we don't run into Ka-" Teemo was interrupted when the door they were standing in front of slammed open and a pair of angry green eyes bore into theirs. "-tarina." He squeaked.

"RUN!" Lux yelled and they sprinted down the corridor, back into the safety of the circular room.

**Meanwhile, down the hallway... **

Katarina looked after the two curiously. She was just on her way to get breakfast…

Reaching for her daggers, she wondered what the light mage had been doing in her hallway… Then decided that she didn't care.

**The mess hall**

"So then I was like: no, I'm not your _sun,_ get it?" Leona laughed uncontrollably while Shen and Akali eyed the kitchen entrance. Akali forced a smile. "Hahahaha…"

"HELP! SOMEBODY HELP!" Lux screamed as she sprinted into the room. Everybody looked up. Sejuani ran behind Lux, having been in the hallway looking for her. She panted for breath and took a seat in the nearest chair. Lux looked behind her, panicked.

Ryze looked up from his scrolls and omelette. "Lux? What happened?"

The mage panted for breath. It had been a hard sprint, and the dorms weren't exactly close.

Teemo spoke up. "It appears that we are not the only ones here." He said, jerking his small head back in the direction he had come in. "Now if you'll excuse me, I will just grab a salad and be heading back home to Bandle City for Snowdown."

Everybody watched the yordle as he selected a leafy salad and scurried out of the room. Lux sat down next to Sejuani.

"So… Who else is here?" Sejuani asked. Lux opened her mouth to speak, but her gaze snatched on something… Or some_one_ over Sejuani's shoulder.

"What the fuck were you doing outside my room, Blondie?" The assassin snapped, hands on her hips. Everybody else turned to watch the encounter, and Akali took the opportunity to sneak into the kitchen.

"Well?" Katarina hissed. Lux gathered her courage and stood up to face the Sinister Blade. "Sejuani asked me to check who was left…" She stated coolly. Katarina turned her gaze to Sejuani, who in turn looked at Lux. "Don't push the blame onto me!" She hissed. Katarina snorted. "Don't care." She muttered, heading towards the buffet, which magically restocked food.

At that moment, Caitlyn rushed into the room, waving a piece of paper. "Hey guys! Guess wha-!" The over-excited sheriff tripped over a chair and tumbled into Katarina, who knocked over a pile of plates, which broke the glass door into the kitchen. Akali blinked at the door and quickly scuttled out of sight of the door… Which landed her next to the refrigerator.

"WATCH IT, BITCH!" Katarina spat angrily, launching a dagger at Caitlyn. Kayle flew into the way of the projectile, which buried itself in her right arm, shearing through her golden armour like nothing.

Katarina barked a short laugh at the angel, who had fallen on top of the sheriff, before taking an unbroken plate and loading it with food and strutting out. Leona blocked the next 5 daggers thrown their way with her shield.

The Radiant Dawn turned to Lux. "Seriously? The other person is _Katarina?_ Fuck. Help me get Kayle to Soraka, will you?"

Ryze looked up. "Hmm? Did I miss something?"

Caitlyn gasped. "Can somebody get her off me? Please?" She wheezed as the air was crushed out of her lungs from Kayle's heavy armour.

**The Infirmary **

"I will be with you shortly, please fill out this checklist while you are waiting." Leona read from the sign taped onto Soraka's door. She sighed. "Guess we have to wait."

Kayle looked up. "Nonsense! I will be fine- whoa, whoa!" She slurred, trying to stand up. Caitlyn grimaced as the Judicator fell back onto the bench.

Leona sighed again. "Stupid bitch. Did she _have_ to poison her daggers?!"

Lux picked up the checklist and a pen. "Might as well fill this out."

_1\. Please state the cause of injury:_

_a) Summoners Rift_

_b) Tripping down the stairs_

_c) Walking into the Summoners building_

_d) Angry Noxian_

_e) Other __

Lux checked the 'angry Noxian' box off and looked at the next question on the list.

_2\. Please state reason for cause of injury:_

_a) Personal curiosity_

_b)Accidental_

_c) Fight_

_d) If you checked off 'Angry Noxian' you do not have to do the rest of the checklist_

"Umm… I'm done, Leona." Lux said, handing the warrior the paper. The Radiant Dawn glanced over the paper and nodded.

Just then, the door opened. "I trust you've filled out the checklist?" Soraka asked, plucking the paper from the Radiant Dawn. She glanced it over and pursed her lips, shaking her head. "Angry Noxian, huh? Alright. Your friend will be alright in an hour."

Lux just stared. "An hour? That long for a cut on her arm?"

"Noxians poison their weapons. And this looks like the work of Katarina, so it may be 2 hours, actually…" Soraka mused. "Help her inside and lay her on a bed. As for this one," She said, turning to Caitlyn, "I assume you were caught in the crossfire?"

Caitlyn shook her head. "I was the target."

**Back in the mess hall**

"ATTENTION! I HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT TO MAKE." Sejuani boomed. Shen looked up. "It's only me, Ryze an- wait… Where's Akali?" He stood up, looking around the room as if expecting the Fist of Shadow to suddenly leap out from behind the painting of a poro that hung on a wall.

Sejuani smacked her head. "Shit! Shen check the kitchen… No wait on second thought, don't go _near _the kitchens! Ryze, check the kitchen!"

Ryze looked up and shrugged. "Why?"

Sejuani seethed. "I was supposed to keep you Ionians away from the fridge!"

The Rogue Mage stood up and left the room. "Do it yourself."

A blond explorer walked in, looking around. "Daaaaamn! Where'd everybody go?"

Sejuani ignored him and stalked into the kitchen, Shen and Ezreal following. Ezreal gasped. "AKALI?! IS THAT MY DOUBLE CHOCOLATE FUDGE AND MINT CHIP ICE CREAM?!"

Akali looked up from her seat on the floor, her face smeared with ice cream and her spoons halfway to bringing another scoop into her mouth. She looked at the label on the ice cream container that said, 'Ezreal's double chocolate fudge and mint chip ice cream, DO NOT TOUCH.'

She gulped. "No…"

Ezreal turned red. "I can SEE IT!"

Akali stared as her charged at her. Panicking, she flung her spoons at him and yelled, "AS BALANCE DICTATES!" Before vanishing in a shroud of mist.

Sejuani roared. "I HATE BEING IN CHARGE! YOU IONIANS ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE IN HERE! IF I SEE ANOTHER ONE OF YOU HERE, KATARINA WILL LOOK TAME NEXT TO WHAT I WILL DO!"

Ezreal, having managed to dodge the spoons, frowned. "Katarina…? Who else is here?"

Shen answered. "Leona, Caitlyn, Kayle, Akali, Ryze, Sejuani, Soraka, me, and Lux. As far as we know. Leona, Kayle, Caitlyn, and Lux are at the infirmary. Caitlyn tripped and knocked over Katarina, and Kayle took a dagger to the arm."

Ezreal frowned. "I'm surprised there wasn't more damage."  
"Leona managed to block the other daggers…"

"Oh."

Sejuani turned to Shen. "GET OUT!"


	2. Shots and Books

**Chapter 2: Shots and Books **

_**Quick authors note: Thank you so much for taking the time to read my book! As you can tell, this chapter is a bit shorter but it's a bit of a launchpad to get all the characters together hahaha… I don't know when I'll update because school just started for me but I hope it will be soon! XOXO~ Creator0fWord**__**s**_

**Meanwhile, in the infirmary…**

"Soraka… What are you doing?" Lux asked as the Starchild prodded Kayle's arm with her horn. Caitlyn was lying immobilized in another room to be checked for possible damage after Kayle had squashed her, and Leona had zoned out on the only other chair in the room, leaving Lux to stand awkwardly by the door. She didn't want to leave, in case she bumped into the Noxian assassin.

"Medical examination." Soraka said stiffly. Leona snored loudly. Kayle was lying on a table in nothing but her shorts and t-shirt, sweat dampening her forehead. "She'll be ok, it's-"

"AS BALANCE DICTATES!" Someone yelled, accidentally finishing off Soraka's sentence. Lux and Soraka both spun to see the Fist of Shadow wielding her weapons, chocolate smeared over her face. Leona bolted upright yelling, "THE DAWN HAS ARRIVED!" and continued to swing her shield into the chair she had been on, mutilating the stuffing. She blinked as she woke up fully. "What? Where am I?"

Everybody stared at her. Akali broke the silence. "So… This isn't the library, right?"

The stares were now directed to her. She shifted uneasily. "I guess not. Right then…" She disappeared in a shroud of mist.

"Erm… That was weird." Leona muttered, sitting back onto the mutilated chair. She yawned. "So is Kayle gonna be alright?"

Soraka sniffed, dabbing at Kayle's arm with a cotton pad. "As I was saying before we were interrupted… She'll be ok, as well as the Sheriff of Piltover, although she may take a couple days. It's just a matter of rest. But to rest, there needs to be silence." She said, pointedly looking at the two to get out and let her work. They took the hint and walked out.

**While…**

Katarina watched as the Radiant Dawn strolled through the gardens with the Lady of Luminosity. The two seemed to be engaged with some sort of meaningless chatter. The Noxian watched as Lux said something to Leona and they both walked away, towards the building that they lived in. Curious, she jumped down from her tree and followed.

Katarina hid up in the ceiling rafters, watching the strange showcase below her. Sejuani was addressing those who remained, trying to rally them…

"I am the ruler of Freljord!" She bellowed. "JOIN WITH ME TO TAKE DOWN THE TYRANNICAL ASHE!"

Shen frowned. "Eh… Actually, Ashe united the-"

"NO! SHE. IS. A. TYRANT. I will hunt her down and take over FRELJORD!" Sejuani shouted, shaking the ceiling rafters. Annoyed, Katarina threw a barrage of daggers at the Winters Wrath, pinning her by the clothes to the wall and effectively shutting her up.

The assassin leaped down and landed lightly. Akali (Who still had not found the library), Shen, Ryze, Leona, and Ezreal looked up in shock, while Lux looked frightened.

"Aw, come one. You should be thanking me. After all, I did manage to shut her up," Katarina snapped.

"Thank you." They chorused. Sejuani glared at Katarina. "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?! GET ME OFF THIS WALL! I MUST RULE FRE-" She was cut off when Ryze cast a silencing spell on her. She continued to yell silently, and the other champions didn't need to be lip-readers to know what she was saying.

"Lets get out of here…" Ezreal suggested and everyone left Sejuani in the dining room.

**Later that night…**

"Kayle!" Lux exclaimed as the Judicator walked by her broken door. Kayle stopped and smiled at Lux. "Hey!"

"You're alright!" The mage hugged her friend.

Ezreal was walking by at that moment. He looked at the exchange curiously. "... Is everything alright?"

"Everythings fine!" Lux beamed. "Kayle's out of the infirmary!"

"Oh!" Ezreal exclaimed. "So… This would be the perfect time to say that we're having a party in the library, right?"

**The party…**

"SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS!" The champions chanted as Leona downed shot after shot after shot.

"WOOO!" Shen cheered. Leona staggered drunkenly towards the bathroom, grinning like a maniac.

"LUX!" Akali laughed as the mage accidentally spilled a pint of Graggy Ice onto her. Akali had been telling Lux all the places she'd teleported to, trying to find the library again. After all, teleportation was not something that she was terribly good at. Lux had just asked her why she wanted to find the library when Akali had replied with, "It's where I hide my donuts."

"Sorry!" Lux exclaimed, hurriedly rushing to the bathroom to get some paper. She walked past a drunk Leona on her way into the bathroom. When she'd returned, everybody was crowded around Akali.

And staring at her evilly.

"What… What's going on?" Lux asked nervously. Leona answered, her words slurring. "You *hiccup* spilllt a *hiccup* driiink onn Akaa *hiccup* Akaa *hiccup* Aka-"

"Akali." Ezreal finished. "So therefore, she can ask you anything and you must reply truthfully. And I mean, _anything._" He laughed evilly while Ryze gave him the side-eye from where the Rogue Mage was perched above a bookshelf.  
Akali watched Lux as she cleaned up the spilt drink. Everybody (except for Ryze, Caitlyn, and Sejuani, who was still daggered to the wall,) leaned towards the two women to hear the question.

"What is your darkest secret?" Akali stated simply. Lux pondered for a moment before taking a seat on a futon. A dark look crossed her face.

"Well? What has the Lady of Luminosity to tell?" Kayle prompted. Lux bit her lip nervously. "Well… You mustn't tell anyone…" She started. Everybody nodded their heads, eager to hear more. "I… I… I once stayed up until midnight watching _The Tales of the Poro King…"_ Lux whispered and everybody groaned inwardly. _The Tales of the Poro King_ was a tv series… Meant for 8-year olds. The champions had expected something juicier, and then realized something.

"Kayle… She's completely innocent!" Akali whispered.

All at once, pandemonium broke out.

"SHE'S INNOCENT! PROTECT HER! KEEP HER AWAY FROM EZREAL!" Leona shrieked drunkenly. Immediately, the Prodigal Explorer grabbed a book off the nearest shelf and started trying to hit the drunken Solari. "I understand you're drunk!" He exclaimed, bashing _The Demacian Diaries_ onto her shield. "But that doesn't mean that we should protect her from _ME_ when there is clearly a DRUNKEN IDIOT staggering around in the same room!"

Shen, Akali, and Kayle started herding Lux away from the two fighting champions. "OOMPH!" Shen puffed as he was pushed into a bookshelf… The one Ryze was sitting on.

The mage was not happy. He cast a stun, rooting Shen in place as he stalked towards the ninja, an orb of crackling blue energy floating above his palm.

With two pairs fighting, Leona and Kayle ended up playing guards, moving Lux from place to place around the room to avoid the others.

No one noticed someone entering the room.

"Errr… Is this a bad time?" Someone asked from the doorway. Immediately, all motion ceased as seven pairs of eyes settled on the cloaked figure carrying a big weapon. The cloak was cast back to reveal long, white hair and frosty blue eyes.

"Ashe!" Lux exclaimed, running towards the Frost Archer. "Finally. Somebody _normal_." Akali muttered, casting a dark look at Leona.

Ashe cautiously hugged Lux back. "So… _Is_ this a bad time?" She asked again. Lux shook her head vigorously. "Not at all! I was just leaving…"

The second they stepped out the door, the fighting resumed, leaving a resigned Leona and Akali to follow Lux and Ashe.


	3. Noxians and Donuts

**Chapter 3: Noxians and Donuts**

"So… What exactly happened back there?" Ashe asked Lux as they walked outside. The evening was cool, but not too much so, and the moon shone brightly, stars twinkling merrily in the background.

"Uh… I told them my darkest secret," Lux said, shooting a glare at Akali, who was behind her. "And then I don't know. All hell broke loose!" She exclaimed indignantly. Ashe raised an eyebrow. "That must have been some secret!" The Frost Archer exclaimed, jabbing Lux in the ribs. "Tell me?" She asked with a merry wink. Lux blushed a deep red. "No!"

"She stayed up until midnight watching _The Tales of the Poro King._" Kayle deadpanned. Lux stopped walking and glared furiously, betrayed, at the Judicator. "KAYLE! I THOUGHT YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO TELL ANYONE!" She screamed, jumping up and down like a child.

"Aw, come on, Lux." Kayle rolled her eyes. "It's not that much of a secret. It's more of an… Embarrassment…" She stated bluntly.

Ashe started giggling nervously. "Err… Embarrassment?" She said, giggles ceasing. "I uh… I've done the… Same…" She mumbled awkwardly. Three pairs of eyes bore into the Frost Archers face. She looked back defiantly. "I…! I was curious!" She defended. "I wanted to know who kidnapped Princess Snugglebums!"

"..."

"WHAT?!"

"..."

'_And here I thought she was normal…_' Akali thought.

**The mess hall… 10 minutes later**

"LET ME OFF THIS WALL! CAN ANY OF YOU MOTHERFUCKERS HEAR ME? GET. ME. OFF!" Sejuani roared as Ashe, Lux, Akali, and Kayle approached the mess hall. Ashe froze. "Is that… Sejuani?" She exclaimed as they came into sight of the Winters Wrath.

Sejuani locked eyes on Ashe in the same instant. "ASHE?!" She shrieked, struggling even harder. Apparently, Katarina's knives were either thrown quite hard or had some sort of magical enchantment, as Sejuani was still hopelessly pinned. Ryze's spell had also worn off.

"What is going on?!" Ashe demanded, whirling to the other champions.

"Well… Sejuani was trying to eh… 'inspire us' to rally against you." Akali explained. "Then out of nowhere: BAM! Sejuani's pinned to the wall and Katarina of all people comes jumping off the ceiling like nothing happened, asking for thanks!"

Ashe looked shocked, then turned back to Sejuani. "Should we let her of-"

"NO!" They chorused in unison, much to Sejuani's anger. She cursed and struggled fruitlessly.

"Ok then…" Ashe finished and they turned to head back to their dorms. "Where is Katarina anyhow?"

Unbeknownst to them, the Noxian assassin was right above them, listening to every detail. She hadn't heard about Ashe and Lux's secret hobbies, as she'd started trailing them only 5 minutes ago.

"Don't know. Don't care. The further she is, the happier I am." Kayle shivered, the wound on her arm seeming to throb. "So… Akali, why did you come charging into the infirmary anyway?"

The Fist of Shadow gave the angel the side-eye. "Donuts."

She was met with blank stares. "What?"

"I was looking for the library. It's where I keep my secret stash of donuts."

Ashe looked shocked again. "Secret stash of donuts?"

Akali glared at her. "Are you judging me?"

"No… Alright, maybe. Sort of." The archer relented under the glare.

"Says the person who watched _Tales of the Poro King _until midnight!" Akali retorted. Ashe held her hands up in surrender. "Alright, fine! I won't judge you Ionians and your love of food, as long as you don't judge me!"

Meanwhile, Katarina was looking down at the Ionian with renewed interest. She was so focused on what she had said that Ashe's secret hadn't yet registered to her. '_Donuts?'_ She thought. '_I want them.'_

"Why do you hide donuts in the library…?" Kayle wondered. "Seems like a strange place."

"Precisely!" Akali exclaimed. "No one would ever look there!"

"Why would anyone want your secret stash of donuts, anyhow?" Kayle answered just as a shadow leaped down in front of them, effectively halting the champions and stopping conversation.

"You. Ionian." Katarina snapped, pointing a dagger at Akali. "Lead me to your stash of donuts and no one gets hurt."

"I stand corrected…" Kayle muttered, glaring at the assassin.

Ashe drew her bow. "Back off and _you_ don't get hurt."

In a flash, the Frost Archer was pinned to the wall in a similar situation as her Freljordian rival. Katarina flipped a dagger in her hand. "Freljordians. Pshh." Her jade eyes returned to Akali. "You have 10 seconds to decide."

Lux whimpered and hid behind Kayle, who in turn tried to use Lux as a shield, both to no success.

"5. 4. 3. 2-"  
"I challenge you to a duel, then." Akali said desperately.

Katarina narrowed her eyes. "A… Duel?"

"Uh… Yeah." The Fist of Shadow said. "If you win, you get my donuts. If you lose, me and my friends get to leave without being harmed."

"Ha! Alright then. I agree to your silly little duel. What weapons shall we fight with?" The assassin asked nonchalantly. Akali's eyes flickered in the direction of the kitchen, which was still relatively close. She knew that she could not use a traditional weapon or else faced the chance of losing her donuts. But…

"Ice cream." She blurted out the first thing that came to mind. The Noxian looked confused. "What the fuck?" She spat, sheathing the dagger in favor of two sabers and stalking towards the Ionian.

"Ice cream." Akali said again. "It's a… Tradition! In Ionia." She made up. "The first person to knock the other over with ice cream wins."

"This is absurd." Katarina said. "You Ionians are _absurd_!"

"Do you want the donuts or not?"

"FINE!" Katarina snapped. "I agree to this pathetic little farce."

**15 minutes later…**

"START!" Lux exclaimed, commencing the start of the duel. Katarina and Akali both had two huge buckets of half-melted ice cream, and were standing on opposite sides of the large mess room. The tables had been overturned to offer a small arena (and shelter for the spectators) and Sejuani was still stuck to the wall, watching the proceedings curiously.

Lux and Kayle hid together behind the tables, Ashe next to them after being taken down from the wall.

Katarina dipped her hand into a bucket of vanilla ice cream and launched it at Akali, who didn't dodge quite in time. The white desert splattered over her green clothes.

The Ionian started scooping up chocolate ice cream and catapulting it at the Noxian, who took a hit to the face.

The enraged Sinister Blade followed that by taking the whole bucket and teleporting behind Akali, upending the contents over her head. The two started launching ice cream at close quarters, Katarina taking from Akali's bucket. "Hey!" Akali exclaimed. After more shots were exchanged, both started backing up away from each other. Katarina almost tripped over the tables.

"This is ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS!" Katarina yelled, covered in sticky dairy. Both champions had difficulty seeing through the ice cream on their faces, and Akali became worried that she might actually lose this duel… And her precious donuts.

Another few minutes passed, and the ground was covered in ice cream. Akali took a few steps back and hurled another ball of chocolate at the Sinister Blade, who teleported again. The Ionian was hit by an ice cream ball in the face, and then another, and then another. Disoriented, she lost her footing on the slippery ground and fell with a 'SPLASH!'.

Breathing heavily, Katarina gazed down, victorious, at Akali. "I won this pathetic little duel!" She panted. "Now honor your end of the agreement! WHERE ARE THE DONUTS?!"

'_All this for… DONUTS?' _Sejuani thought, fighting back a laugh. Who knew that the Noxian had a love for donuts?

A dejected Akali stood up and led a triumphant Katarina back to the library, where the others were still duking it out. When they entered, the fighting stopped again, replaced by looks of confusion. "Sinister Blade?" Ryze asked at the same time that Leona asked, "Why are you guys covered in… Is that shit?"

"No… Actually, that's ice cream." Lux said from behind the two women, having, along with Ashe and Kayle, followed them. Shen nodded. "Now I get why we aren't allowed in the kitchen…"

"I'm not even gonna ask…" Ezreal muttered, the book dropping from his hand as Akali led Katarina between two towering bookcases.

**A/N: Hi guys! I just wanted to let you all know how grateful I am for the feedback on my story! I know it's a little random at times but, hey, it's meant to make you laugh. **

**I can't promise that I will update this again soon, but I promise that next chapter, the randomness will start to lessen and start following a track. But I wanted to ask you something: Are there any characters you want me to implement? Just let me know!**

**Thank you for reading :)**

**XOXO~ Creator0fWords**


	4. Doors and Baths

**Chapter 4: Doors and Baths**

Leona stirred and flipped over, groaning at the headache pounding between her eyes. The sunlight, for once, was too bright. She rolled to the other side and landed on something soft and squishy.

The soft and squishy thing started making muffled noises and thrashing about under the armor-clad Radiant Dawn, who sat up and blinked, surprised.

"Morning, Sunshine." Someone said. Leona struggled to stand up and looked towards the speaker.

Katarina was perched on an armchair, munching on a glazed donut. As they met eyes, the assassin smirked, motioning to the donut. "Want one?"

Leona responded with a soft grunt and fell back down, landing on the soft and squishy thing again. It screamed, which startled and woke up everyone in the vicinity. "Wha-what the hell?" Shen mumbled, sitting up. He yawned and stretched, before getting to his feet.

Leona had gotten up again, and realized that she had fallen on top of Ezreal. The annoyed Prodigal Explorer picked himself off the floor, brushing himself off. "What the fuck!" He yelled at Leona. "You're so freaking heavy!"

"Sorry!" Leona exclaimed, backing away. Ezreal had picked up another book (The Demacian Diaries II) and was walking towards Leona.

The book flew out of his hands and was pinned against the wall by a dagger.

"Now, now," Katarina chided, finishing off the donut and getting up to leave. "Can't have violence before lunch, can we? It's bad karma during Snowdown." She whistled before walking off to her room.

"You know, she's right." Shen said.

"For once…" Ezreal muttered darkly.

**The North Wing**

"Shit shit shit shit…" Akali muttered, thinking about her lost treasure, her eyes cast onto the floor. She had just woken up, outside the library of all places, and was heading back to her room. Or so she thought.

The Fist of Shadow glanced up, for the first time noticing her surroundings.

"This isn't the East Wing…!" She realized, turning back around, but it was too late.

"Well, well, well… What have we here?" The Sinister Blade drawled, smiling wickedly at Akali, who gulped. "A lone Ionian… In the _North Wing?_ My, you must have quite the death wish."

"N-no! It's not like that! I..." Akali trailed off as Katarina stalked closer, twin daggers clutched in her hands.

"Then what is it?" The Noxian asked, relishing the fear etched onto the ninja's face.

"I… I wasn't paying attention to where I was going." Akali admitted. Katarina stopped and laughed. "Really? Why? Because of the donuts?"

Akali didn't want to admit that that _was_ the reason. That, and waking up to Ezreal screaming.

"Err… No. Ezreal screams quite loud…"

A door opened and Akali looked behind her fearfully, only to realize that it was Katarina. '_Wait what?'_ She thought, turning back around to where the assassin had originally been standing, only to find it empty. The Ionian was hit by a sudden jab of jealousy at the Noxians ability to teleport, which disappeared as quickly as it had come. The jealousy was replaced by hope and she dashed towards the clear hallway… Only to run into leather and steel.

"Pitiful." Katarina sniffed. She inclined her head towards the open door. "Get in."

**A little earlier that morning… **

"Mmm…" Lux sighed as she woke up. Her bright blue eyes fluttered open as she sat up in bed, feeling refreshed and blissful. Until someone interrupted her stretching.

"Good morning, Luxie." Ashe cooed. Lux's head snapped towards the Frost Archer who was lying next to her, ice blue shining mischievously. The Lady of Luminosity gaped. "Wha- what are you doing here?" She squeaked, lifting the covers to see if they had their clothes on. Which they did. Thankfully.

Ashe frowned. "You don't remember last night?"

The gears in Lux's mind churned. "No… Should I?" She asked, half-fearfully.

The Freljordian laughed. "We snuck by the library again and stole some drinks, then marathoned _The Tales of the Poro King_ season 2. We must've fallen asleep in your bed…"

"Oh." Lux breathed, relieved that she hadn't 'slept' with the Frost Archer. Now that she thought about it, though, she did recall marathoning the show…

"OH!" She exclaimed, then started laughing. Ashe joined in and sat up, kicking off the blankets. She was dressed in a white t-shirt and blue shorts, snow white hair messy.

Lux quickly glanced in her own mirror, hanging across from her bed. She, too, had messy hair and was dressed similarly to Ashe although with long sweatpants.

Ashe headed into the bathroom and Lux started choosing her clothes for the day.

_Hmmm… Normal bra, white shirt, and blue pants? No… _

She decided on blue leggings with a white skirt and light armor on top… Which was pretty much her usual outfit.

The Frost Archer emerged from the bathroom, combing her hair with Lux's hairbrush. The Demacian headed into the bathroom and picked up her toothbrush. The bristles were stiff, as if frozen. She peered closer and noticed tiny droplets of water had frozen to the handle.

"Oh! Hope you don't mind, Lux. I sorta used your toothbrush…"

**After breakfast…**

"I wonder where Akali disappeared to?" Lux wondered as she and Ashe headed out of the mess hall after grabbing a bite to eat. As they walked by the library, they heard a loud scream rent the air. "What the…?" Lux and Ashe both exclaimed at the same time. They stopped around the corner from the library, looking at each other and immediately started sprouting theories.

"Ahri taking a soul?" Ashe wondered.

"Taric losing a gem?" Lux countered.

"Teemo's mushrooms?"

"Poro's?"

"Princess Snugglebums being kidnapped by General Fluffy?!"

"KATARINA RAPING SOMEBODY?!"

"..."

"What?"

"Err… Nothing." Ashe responded. Lux glared at her. "It's more believable than Princess Snugglebums being kidnapped by General Fluffy!"

"Sure…" Was the muttered response. Suddenly, Ashe's head snapped away from Lux and locked onto someone moving towards the dorms.

Lux noticed too. "Is that… Akali?"

"Looks like it." Ashe responded. They watched as she walked through the doorway that led to the North Wing. The two friends looked at each other in shock. "What…?!"

Lux was about to follow but was restrained by Ashe. She looked at the archer questioningly and opened her mouth but Ashe placed a finger over Lux's lips, jerking her head towards the hallway. The Demacian's eyes widened.

A red-headed woman rounded the corner from the library and headed towards the North Wing… And Akali.

"Crap!" Lux mouthed to Ashe. As Katarina disappeared into the North Wing, Lux and Ashe slowly crept closer, flattening themselves right outside the doorway. They heard voices within.

"... My, you must have quite the death wish." A harsh voice said. Ashe locked eyes with Lux and mouthed, "_Katarina."_

"N-no! It's not like that! I..." Another voice answered, tainted in fear.

"_Akali."_ Lux mouthed back.

"Then what is it?" Katarina asked. It was clear that she was enjoying herself. "I… I wasn't paying attention to where I was going." Akali defended. A sinister laugh rolled through the air and Lux shivered.

"Really? Why? Because of the donuts?"

"Err… No. Ezreal screams quite loud…"

'_Oh… So it was Ezreal that screamed...'_ Ashe thought. '_Not Katarina raping somebody.' _She looked pointedly at Lux who rolled her eyes, seeming to get the message. "It was a theory!" The Demacian whispered.

The sound of a door opening alerted both back to the exchange happening.

They heard light footsteps approaching quickly and then a muted _thud._

"Pitiful." Katarina sniffed. "Get in."

Lux and Ashe stared, wide-eyed, at each other. In unison, they peeled themselves off the wall and tiptoed down the hallway to Katarina's door, ears glued to the wood.

**Inside the room…**

"What do you want with me?" Akali whispered, backing into a corner. A sadistic smile formed on Katarina's face as the door shut. "Oh, so many things, little Ionian. But let's start with..." She whispered, gliding closer to Akali. The tip of a steel dagger lifted the Fist of Shadow's chin up, and Katarina vaguely realized that she didn't have the slightest idea what she was planning to do with the Ionian. Scaring somebody was one thing, but forcing them into the room _and _scaring them was another. Still, the assassin knew when to take advantage of situations.

Her jade eyes bored into Akali's brown ones, and the tip of the knife drew away. Akali seemed surprised until…

"Target practice."

Katarina spun on her heel, releasing a steady flow of deadly knives, which stuck in the wall around the terrified ninja. Akali closed her eyes, praying that she wouldn't get hit as the Death Lotus continued, daggers sliding smoothly from hidden sheaths into the Sinister Blade's hands, until she had run out.

Akali lifted one eyelid slowly when the flow of knives stopped, and Katarina smiled smugly at her, looking completely unfazed despite having spun in a circle for 2 minutes straight. The knives had completely outlined the Ionians body, even wedged in the small space between her arm and her ribcage. The Noxian blew a stray strand of red hair out of her face and sat down, contemplating what to do next with her captive.

**Outside the room…**

Ashe and Lux waited to hear the dull wet sound of a knife slicing into their friends flesh. Their ears were starting to hurt from being pressed to the door, but they couldn't remove them after Katarina had declared, 'Target practice.'

Suddenly, the sounds of knives hitting the wall stopped.

The Frost Archer and the Lady of Luminosity met each others eyes, terrified, when suddenly…

"What are you two doing?" Someone whispered.

They jumped and barely managed to contain their screams before realizing that the asker was not an angry Noxian.

"I-I can ask the same of you!" Ashe whispered back. Taric huffed and crossed his arms. "I asked first, gurl."

Ashe and Lux looked at each other again before the latter blurted out, "We were checking the door! We're Door Monitors!" Lux made up. Ashe glared at her. "_What?! He'll never believe that!"_ She hissed.

Taric looked astonished. "Monitors of doors? How was I not notified of this!" He cried, outraged. Thankfully, loud music had suddenly erupted from Katarina's room, preventing the Noxian from hearing the conversation.

"Since I first joined the League, I have been filing complaints about the doors! THESE DOORS ARE NOT FIT FOR CHAMPIONS! I MEAN, LOOK AT THEM!" He puffed, jabbing a finger at a door. "They lack more style than that explorer! I mean, look at his clothes!" Taric ranted. "I MUST DEMAND MEMBERSHIP TO THIS DOOR MONITORS CLUB!" He declared, looking expectantly at the two women.

Ashe looked shocked, and Lux looked relieved. "Ok then… Why don't you check the uh… Doors… In the East Wing?" Lux suggested. Taric nodded. "Good idea! After Sejuani charged down that hallway 5 minutes ago, I bet there will be some damage!"

Ashe paled even more. "Sejuani? How… DID YOU LET HER DOWN?!" She all but shrieked. Taric nodded before heading down the hallway. "Yup!" He chirped. "She looked uncomfortable!"

Lux shook her head. "Let me guess… Your room is in the East Wing?" She asked Ashe.

"Mhmm."

"Great…"  
There was a moment of silence before they heard a distant roar of "I'M COMING FOR YOU NOXIAN BITCH!" Coming slowly closer.

Desperately, Lux started pounding on Katarina's door, much to Ashe's astonishment. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!"

The music stopped and Lux was about to respond when the door was roughly yanked open. Katarina looked menacing, the scar over her eye making her look more dangerous than Sejuani. Ashe briefly considered running to the other Freljordian rather than facing a Noxian assassin.

"What?" Katarina snapped, green eyes flashing. "Can't you see I'm busy?"

Akali was tied down on the bed, a gag in her mouth and an apple balanced on her forehead.

"Sejuani is heading this way, and coming for you!" Lux managed to say before said person suddenly appeared at the end of the hall. Ashe screamed at the same time that Sejuani saw her. "ASHE!" The Winters Wrath growled. Ashe ran into Katarina's room and slammed the door, Lux with her. The Noxian had opened a window and was judging the distance to the ground. "I'm not even going to _ask_ which idiot let him down!" She seethed before jumping.

Lux had managed to untie Akali and both were about to jump just as the door burst open, revealing a very angry looking champion.

"RUN!" Ashe yelled, grabbing one of Katarina's daggers (which where still stuck to the wall) and blindly launching it at Sejuani before jumping out of the window.

Akali caught her at the bottom and together with Lux started following the red-headed Noxian, who was running towards the nearest safe building: the bathhouse.

**The bathhouse...**

"Ahh…" Leona sighed as she slowly lowered herself into the relaxing hot water. It had been a stressful morning so far, she recalled. First, she'd woken up with a nasty hangover. The next, she'd being the target of Ezreal and his library books. And then she had to deal with listening to Taric rant about which color gem suited his eyes the best during breakfast. A _looong _breakfast. Just as the water was finally soothing her, the ground started shaking. Confused, Leona quickly got out of the tub and wrapped a towel around herself just as the door slammed open to reveal a flustered looking Katarina; Ashe, Lux, and Akali weren't too far behind her, and behind them, was the source of the shaking. Sejuani.

As Leona watched, transfixed, Lux tripped over a rock and was sent sprawling. Akali and Ashe reached the safety of the bathhouse, panting for breath, before realizing that Lux wasn't with them.

They turned to see her getting to her feet, Sejuani closing the space between them rapidly and screaming at the top of her lungs, "BITCH NOXIAN! ASHE! COME OUT HERE AND FIGHT ME LIKE WOMEN!"

Katarina gulped and teleported to the roof, while Ashe called desperately to her friend. "LUX! USE FLASH!"

Lux's face reddened. "WHAT?!"

"DO IT!"

Lux sighed. "I don't know what it will do but FINE!"

The Demacian stopped running a couple steps from safety and started undoing her armor, throwing it to the ground before struggling to take off her skirt and pants. Akali's eyes widened and Ashe facepalmed. "NO! NOT THAT KIND OF FLA-"

_BAM!_

The last thing that Lux remembered seeing were the horrified faces of her friends and double rainbows.

**A/N: Alrighty then! The guest cameo for this chapter was Taric *ahem* who was requested by one of my friends. The next chapter most likely will come out sometime either tomorrow or in a few days. I wrote this whole chapter in one sitting (lol), and I don't know if it was that good. As always, thank you for reading and reviewing, and which champion would you like to see in chapter 6? (I have chapter 5 already planned)**

**XOXO~ Creator0fWords**


	5. Bets and Freljordians

**Chapter 5: Bets and Freljordians**

Katarina panicked at the sound of Sejuani's voice yelling, "BITCH NOXIAN! ASHE! COME OUT HERE AND FIGHT ME LIKE WOMEN!". After all, all her knives were still stuck to the wall, and she hadn't even eaten breakfast yet. Who fights a raging Freljordian on an empty stomach?!

At least, those were the excuses the assassin gave herself as she teleported to the roof. Thankfully, the roof was flat, and Katarina watched the scene unfold, muttering the commentary to herself.

"Blondie tripping over a rock. Archer yelling at her. Blondie getting up. Blondie stripping."

She started, thinking over what she'd said. '_BLONDIE STRIPPING?!'_

The assassin watched numbly as Sejuani charged closer and Akali screamed, "NO! NOT THAT KIND OF FLASH!"

_BAM!_

Katarina winced in empathy as the Demacian was knocked into the air and landed heavily on the ground, limp and unconscious.

Apparently confused, Sejuani stopped her charging for a moment and looked over at Lux, before turning back to the bathhouse. Heavy charms shielded the building, preventing champions from inflicting injuries on each other. It was either too much work or too taxing to keep the rest of the Institute like that, so the High Council had decided to only ward the bathhouse, where most fights had seemed to break out… Mostly due to peeping toms. Naturally.

Although Katarina couldn't see her, she knew that Akali was not happy with the Winters Wrath almost killing her friend.

**Inside the bathhouse… **

Akali was shocked as she watched Lux's body fly into the air and hit the ground. Ashe gasped audibly, and Leona just stared.

"Ashe?" Akali whispered. The Frost Archer turned to her. "What?"

"Do you have your bow?"

Ashe frowned. "No… Aw shit, I must've left it in Lux's room!"

Leona looked at her quizzically. "Lux's room? Forgetting your bow? What did you guys do?"

Ashe opened her mouth to speak but was interrupted by Akali. "I'm going in."

She was met with blank stares and open mouths. The Fist of Shadow took out her kama's, turning towards the door. Sejuani was right outside, fixated on the roof.

'_I wonder why I didn't use these earlier...'_ Akali thought as her grip tightened on her weapons and she charged out into the open, yelling, "AS BALANCE DICTATES!"

A second before impact, she teleported behind a confused Sejuani and slashed her across her back. Roaring more in annoyance than pain, the Freljordian turned and unclipped her flail from her belt. The spiked mace came flying towards the ninja assassin, who nimbly flipped away from her and threw a kama. The weapon hit Sejuani square on the helmet and came back to Akali, who vanished in a puff of smoke and appeared again behind her.

The fight went on, and it seemed like Akali would win… Until an errant swing from Sejuani hit Akali right where she teleported, sending the Ionian flying towards Lux.

Sejuani stormed over, chest heaving, eyes blazing. "A valiant fight." She sneered. "But not good enough."  
Dazed, Akali could not stop Sejuani's blows. A fist struck her square on the jaw, and Sejuani prepared to strike the Ionian with her flail. Akali's eyes closed, braced for the impact.

Nothing.

She opened her eyes to see that Leona had come to her rescue, golden shield protecting her. Ashe had crept up behind Sejuani with Leona's sword.

"No more harm shall come to my friends." The Radiant Dawn hissed menacingly as Ashe struck Sejuani on the back of her head with a loud, _CLONK!_

The Winters Wrath collapsed, unconscious, and Ashe nudged her rivals head with her toe. "Huh. Her head _is_ as thick as I thought."

Leona snorted and took her sword back from Ashe. "Help me get these 3 to Soraka." She glared pointedly at the empty roof. "It doesn't look like Katarina is gonna help."

Ashe's eyes locked onto something over Leona's shoulder. "Uh… Leona?"

The Solari ignored her. "I mean, since when does that Noxian bitch ever help? All she can do is kill! I'd kiss Ezreal _on the lips_ if she came to help! HA!" Leona laughed. Ashe didn't join in. "Leona…"

"What?" Realization dawned on the Radiant Dawn's face. "She's behind me isn't she."

A nod was the response from Ashe.

"Well, well, pucker up those lips, lover girl. One explorer is about to get a big surprise." The assassin laughed.

**The infirmary…**

"3?!" The Starchild exclaimed as Leona handed her the forms. "At this rate, I'm going to run out of rooms!" Soraka glared at Katarina. "Can you _please_ stop injuring your fellow champions?"

The Noxian smirked. "My handiwork is much neater. The Demacian," She said, indicating Lux, "Was run over by Sejuani. This one," She jabbed a finger at Akali, "Was fighting Sejuani. And Sejuani, was knocked out by Ashe."

Soraka sighed. "Get them on the beds."

**In the West Wing…**

Leona looked apprehensively at the polished wood door. '_Why did I have to say that?!'_ She chided herself as Katarina gave her the side-eye. "Well? You gonna knock or should I?"

The Solari swallowed hard, and before she could think too much on it, lifted a fist and quickly knocked twice on the door.

Katarina teleported onto the ceiling beams as Ezreal opened the door, looking surprised to see Leona. "Leona? What a… Surprise…" He trailed off, thinking back to when he had been trying to beat her head in with a book. Leona smiled sheepishly. "Erm… I wanted to apologize for last night…"

"Oh." Ezreal blinked. "Sure, apology accepted." He seemed to be in a hurry. "I'm sorry, too, for trying to kill you with a book."  
Leona barked a short laugh, her heartbeat accelerating. "Ah, it's ok. Oh my gosh Ezreal i'm so sorry for this…"

The explorer looked confused. "Wha- MMM!"

Leona shut her eyes and pressed her lips against his briefly before pulling away, face red. "I'm sorry, I-"

"EZREAL!" A hurt voice exclaimed from within his room. The Piltoverian's face reddened as he turned. "I-I'm sorry Taric! It's not what it looks like! I swear I don't even kno-"

"I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT ANYMORE!" Taric wailed, pushing past Ezreal and Leona. "I KNEW YOU WERE CHEATING ON ME! I KNEW IT!"

Leona looked startled. "What? You two?" She asked, pointing back and forth between them. "Are… A… Thing?"

Ezreal looked like a tomato now. "I-"

Taric sniffed. "So what? Not anymore!" He glared at Ezreal.

Leona blinked. "Taric… I lost a bet, it's not what it looks like!"

The Gem Knight shook his head. "No! I don't care! You are all liars!" He stormed off. Ezreal looked at Leona, looking somewhat relieved. "Uh… Thanks. That just made breaking up with him a hella lot easier."

**Later that night… **

"CAITLYN!" Shen exclaimed as the Sheriff walked into the mess hall, looking somewhat pale but better than before. She cracked a small smile. "Hey, Shen."

Ashe looked up from her chicken and potatoes. "Evening, Caitlyn." She smiled, motioning to the empty seat next to her. Caitlyn sat down and stole a potato from Leona. "Thanks."

Ryze was sitting in a corner reading. Ashe, Leona, and Shen had been sitting together eating dinner at a table.

"... So then what happened?" Ashe prodded from Leona, whose face reddened.

"So I kissed him, and then… And then…" She trailed off. Someone else finished her sentence for her. "And then Taric started screaming at Ezreal for cheating on him. Ha! I always knew there was something up there." Katarina laughed as she sat down at the next table, plate loaded with food.

Caitlyn's face paled as their eyes met and Katarina smirked. "Glad to see your feeling better, _Sheriff._"

"Back off, Katarina." Leona said, glaring at the Noxian, who laughed. "You're just mad that you had to kiss Ezreal! That'll teach you to backtalk me."

Caitlyn looked utterly confused. "What did I miss?"

Leona had just finished telling her about the bet when Kayle entered the room, wearing a gold shirt and red shorts.

"Hey, Kayle!" Caitlyn called cheerily. Kayle gave a quick smile before her eyes settled on Katarina, who plastered a smirk on her face. "How's your arm?"

Kayle gritted her teeth. "Fine. How's your face? Akali nailed you pretty hard there."

"The donuts were worth it." Was the curt reply.

Kayle gave a stiff nod and sat with her friends.

"Err… So, Caitlyn." Shen said. "What was on that paper you were waving around before you tripped and uh… Ended up in the infirmary?" He asked with a pointed look in Katarina's direction.

"OH!" Caitlyn's face brightened. "My new blueprint for a Decision-Making Device! I call it the DMD!"

"Great. So what's it do?" Leona asked.

"Uh hold on I've got a prototype in my pocket…" Caitlyn rummaged around until her fingers brushed against something. "Ah! Here!" She declared, displaying it in the middle of the table.

"Uh… Is that a… _Vibrator_?" Shen asked warily. Caitlyn's face reddened and she quickly snatched the thing. "Shit!" She mumbled. "Uh… NO!" She said to Shen. "HERE!" Caitlyn exclaimed, slapping a metal device onto the table. It had a small screen and two buttons at the bottom, one reading, '_Answer',_ and the other saying '_Speak'._

"So you push the speak button and ask it a question, then press the answer button and it gives you an answer. Here, I'll demonstrate."

Caitlyn pushed the speak button and the screen lit up.

"Should I take another potato from Leona?" She asked, and then pressed the answer button. The screen turned blue for a couple seconds and there, in big block letters, was the word 'NO'.

Leona smirked. "This things smart."

**The Dorm Halls…**

Katarina stood in the room that connected the 3 dorm hallways. Footsteps echoed from behind her, and the assassin turned just in time to see a silver-haired woman turn into the hallway, hands in her pockets. She froze when she saw Katarina, who hissed. "Exile."

"Sinister Blade." Riven replied, returning the glare and walking towards her dorm hall, the East Wing.

"Coward."

"Bitch."

Katarina sneered. "That the best you've got? I thought you were _Noxian._" She spat. Riven's amber eyes narrowed. "I am in no mood to pick a fight tonight, assassin." She retorted, entering the shadow of the East Wing corridor. "And I am not Noxian. Not anymore."

**The East Wing, a few minutes later…**

"Riven!" Ashe called to the Exile, who looked up, hand on her door. Ashe stopped. "Holy Avarosa…!"

All the doors that Sejuani had knocked down had been replaced, which was all of them in this Wing. The doors were now a polished mahogany with gem-encrusted handles, and the doorframes had been gilded with white marble.

"Yeah, I know right?" Riven replied. "What happened, summoners suddenly decide to give us an early Snowdown present?"

Ashe looked uncomfortable. "Actually, that may be me and Lux's fault…" She realized, thinking back to the morning. "We uh… You know what, come into my room and I'll tell you the story."

**Ashe's room...**

The Queen of Freljord had a spacious room. A queen-sized bed covered in silk sheets dominated the left side of the room. Across from the door was a small hallway which led to the bathroom and walk-in closet. The window was across from the bed, and a big sturdy desk was seated in front of it. Against the wall by the door were couches and a glass coffee table, a TV hanging next to the hallway.

Riven gaped as she walked in; the room was twice as big as her own!

They sat down on the couch and Ashe told her about the Door Monitors.

Just as she finished the story, there were a couple loud knocks on the door.

"Come in! It's open!" Ashe called, and the door opened to admit Kayle, Leona, and Caitlyn. They all smiled and nodded at Riven. "Hey."

The Exile nodded back. "Hey, Kayle. Caitlyn. Leona."

The 3 new arrivals shut the door and plopped down on the big couch. "What's up with the doors?" Caitlyn asked. "I wish my room was in the East Wing." She said wistfully. Ashe sighed. "Riven, help me tell the story?"

After Ashe had explained her and Lux's run-in with Taric, Leona was doubled over laughing. "DOOR MONITORS? And he _fell for that?_ HAHAHAHAHA!"

Caitlyn smirked and took out her DMD. "Is Taric dumb?" She asked it.

Big block letters spelt out, '_In this situation, very."_

Riven looked curious. "What's that?"

"Oh, you know. A little something I was going to show everyone, before Katarina nearly killed me." Caitlyn answered. "It's called the DMD. You ask it a question, and it gives you an answer. Only yes or no questions, though."

"Can I try?" Riven asked.

"Sure! Be my guest!" The Sheriff of Piltover answered, handing over the device. She showed the Exile how to use it.

"Should I go pick a fight with Katarina Du Couteau?"

Riven pressed '_answer'_.

'_WHAT? ARE YOU SUICIDAL?! DO NOT ENGAGE IN DIRECT CONTACT WITH THAT SPECIMEN. I RECOMMEND POISON OR DRUGS WHEN HANDLING. CAUTION IS DEEPLY ADVISED.' _

"Uh… This machine seems kind of biased." Riven said, holding it out to Caitlyn, who took one glance at the screen and raised an eyebrow. "Whoa."

"What?" Ashe, Leona, and Kayle asked at the same time. Wordlessly, Caitlyn handed the device to Ashe, who passed it to Leona, who passed it to Kayle. Eyebrows were raised.

"I don't think she's that dangerous." Leona said. "Sejuani's scarier, especially if she's mad."

Everybody agreed, and then sighed. Poor Lux and Akali.

**A/N: Hi! So I know this chapter may not be as funny, but I kinda hit a writers block *awkwardly laughs*… And if you couldn't already tell, the cameo this time was Riven, as requested by tomy98! If you got any characters you wanna see, just tell me and i'll see if I can work them in. **

**Next update: I HAVE NO CLUE BECAUSE THE WEEKENDS ARE OVER.**

**Reviews are appreciated! XOXO~ Creator0fWords**


	6. Spiders and Plans

**Chapter 6: Spiders and Plans**

Lux rolled over and groaned. She felt like she'd been run over by a bulldozer. Which she kinda had…

"Oh good, you're awake." A voice said. The mage blinked her eyes open slowly. "Wha-what? Where am I?"

"The infirmary, Luxanna. You took quite the hit. 3 broken ribs, broken arm, sprained ankle…" Soraka listed.

Lux gulped. "The last thing that I remember is… OH! Oh! Well that makes sense."

The Starchild gave an unlady-like snort. "That Freljordian is a freaking _BULLDOZER._ You're lucky you made it out _alive!"_

Lux turned paler and gulped, sitting up. She wore a thin white gown and could see that her chest was wrapped up in bandages. Her arm was attached to a sling on the ceiling, and her leg was propped up on pillows. Across the room lay Sejuani on another bed, and Akali was on the bed next to Lux. Both were still sleeping.

"How long have I been out?" Lux wondered. Soraka checked the clock on the wall. "Hm… You came in at 11am, so… About 7 hours!"

The mage stared. "_7 hours?!"_

"Mhmm. Anyway, I can let you out soon, you just needed to be awake for me to heal you properly."

The Lady of Luminosity sighed. "Alright."

**10 minutes later...**

Akali woke to the sound of Lux screaming as her bones knit back together. The ninja tried to move, but her body was sore where Sejuani had landed the lucky shot that had put her down, and her face hurt. She groaned instead.

"Hang on, Lux. Almost done…" A strained voice muttered, and the mage gave a last piercing scream before Soraka finally gasped, "Done!"

Lux lay panting on the bed, feeling pain everywhere, which slowly gave way to… Nothing. After a few minutes, she felt completely normal. Soraka stood up, watching the golden magic drain from Lux's body.

"How… How come Caitlyn had to take a few days then?" Lux managed to ask. The curiosity had burned at her since Soraka had told her the procedure would only take a couple minutes. The Starchild pursed her lips. "Caitlyn had her sternum crushed. That took longer to heal. Plus, she felt really sore for a while."

"She seemed fine, though, when we brought her here…"

"The Sheriff of Piltover knows better than to go anywhere without a health potion or two, especially at the Institute."

"Ah, I see…" Lux sighed, relaxing. Her blond hair was soaked with sweat, and her hands hurt from being clenched so tightly into fists for so long.

"You ok, Lux?" A soft voice asked from her left. The Demacian turned her head slightly to see Akali trying to sit up, wincing in pain.

"Hey, you're up! Well, I should be asking you the same thing. How come you're in the infirmary too?" Lux asked her friend. Akali, who had managed to sit up, glared across the room at Sejuani, who was apparently unaffected by all the screaming. She was still lying serenely on the bed.

"Well, after Sejuani sent you flying, I tried to fight her. Didn't turn out so well, but Leona and Ashe managed to knock her unconscious. Actually, more like, Ashe hit her upside the head with Leona's sword." Akali gave a small laugh and winced. Soraka handed her a health potion and then left. The Ionian downed the contents in one gulp and gave a content sigh as the pain slowly ebbed away and continued. "So then, Katarina, Leona, and Ashe brought us here-"  
"Hold up a sec…" Lux interrupted, blue eyes confused. "Did you say… _Katarina?_ _SHE _helped us?"

"I KNOW RIGHT! But it could've been because Leona said she'd kiss Ezreal _on the lips_ if she came to help! I mean, come on. Since when does Katarina ever do things out of the goodness of her heart?" Akali laughed. Lux giggled. "I didn't even think she _had_ a heart!"

"Oh, trust me, she does." The ninja deadpanned. "I've stabbed her through it a couple times on the Fields of Justice."

The two laughed and talked some more before dozing off.

**Ashe's room… **

"So, what _was_ Taric doing in the North Wing?" Riven asked. Night had fallen, and the girls were still in Ashe's room, just talking. Caitlyn and Kayle had left a while ago, leaving Riven, Ashe, and Leona.

"Why don't we ask him tomorrow?" Ashe suggested, curious as well. Leona cut in. "You can't. He returned to Demacia on Jarvan IV's orders… Needed someone to help him pick colors for the castle or something."

"Oh."

"Well," Leona said, standing up and stretching. "It was fun catching up, Riven, but I think i'll be heading off to bed." She flashed a smile and headed next door. Riven stood up as well. "I'll be going too." The Exile smiled and nodded at Ashe before following Leona out the door. Her room was down the hall a bit from Ashe's, but as she stepped out the door, the red hair of Katarina caught her attention, lurking down the hall by Riven's room. The assassin had not noticed Riven, who quickly ducked her head back into Ashe's room and shut the door. The Frost Archer, still on the couch, raised her head. "You ok?"

"Fine." Riven gulped. "Can I stay here tonight?" She asked nervously. Ashe raised an eyebrow. "What's up?"

The Exile looked nervous. "Erm… Katarina's outside my room."

Understanding dawned on Ashe's face. "Oh! I see. In that case, be my guest! But I only have one set of blankets…" She admitted.

"Oh, it's fine."

**The following morning…**

'_Why hasn't she come out of her room yet?'_ The Noxian assassin wondered. Katarina hadn't seen Riven go _into_ her room, either, but assumed that it was because she was already in it. The assassin had returned this morning at 6, determined to catch the Exile. But 3 hours later, still no sign of her. There hadn't been a peep from the room.

Just as she decided that Riven wasn't here, a muffled voice screamed, "RIVEN!"

The voice had come from Ashe's room.

"I'm com- ahhhh!" was the reply. Mystified, Katarina crept to the door. She heard noises inside; someone ruffling the blankets, a squelching noise, and a low moan.

The assassin slowly backed away from the door, horrified, before quickly running down the hallway, away from Riven and Ashe.

**Ashe's room…**

"RIVEN!" Ashe screamed, pointing at a spider. The Frost Archer had just woken up to find a large black spider on the wall.

"I'm com- ahhhh!" Riven exclaimed, running out of the shower and slipping on the wet floor. Ashe quickly kicked off the blankets and ran to Riven, who had stood up, moaning in pain as she held her head.

"Are you ok?" The Freljordian asked. Riven grit her teeth and nodded. "I'll be fine. Now what's wrong?"

"Err…" Ashe felt oddly embarrassed about admitting her fear of spiders. She pointed a finger at it, and Riven's eyes widened.

"MONSTER!" She screeched, all pain forgotten as she grabbed her sword and swung it at the wall, decimating the spider and destroying Ashe's wall.

Breathing heavily, she blinked and observed her handiwork. "Uh… Sorry Ashe!"

Ashe was still standing there, blinking slowly. "... It's ok. I'll get Heimerdinger to fix it. Or the summoners… Whoever gets back first."

Riven nodded sheepishly. "Well, at least the spiders dead."

**Meanwhile…**

'_This is what she gets for doing something violent before lunch, hah!' _Katarina thought as she paused by the infirmary, recalling the beautiful memory of Sejuani getting her helmet bashed in by Ashe. Nothing bad had yet to happen to Ashe, but Katarina knew that something would soon. The spirits of Snowdown were quite the sticklers.

The Noxian continued past the infirmary, towards the mess hall, stomach growling. She needed something to distract her from what she'd heard that morning. '_Bacon will do it'_, she thought, heaping the delicious meat onto a plate and heading back to her room.

Katarina kicked open her door and stopped cold.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING IN MY ROOM?!" She screeched, setting her bacon on a table and grabbing two of her knives out, glaring daggers at her sister.

Cassiopeia looked up from Katarina's underwear drawer. "Looking for something. Mr Snuggles has gone missing!" She hissed, rifling through the assassins underwear. "I know you have him in here somewhere!"

Katarina snorted. "What the fuck would I want with your stuffed poro?"

The Noxian assassin moved closer to her bed and kicked something underneath further out of sight.

Cassiopeia shut the drawer and glided to the closet. "Well he's gone. And you have _terrible_ taste in lingerie. Pink doesn't suit you."

Katarina reddened and chucked a dagger at her sister, narrowly missing the serpents head and hitting her wall.

The Serpents Embrace hissed at Katarina. "You could've killed me!"

"And yet you're still standing there. I refuse to believe that you would've risked your pretty little head to come into my room. Now why are you really here?" Her sister retorted. Cassiopeia narrowed her slit-like eyes. "Swain wants you back in Noxus for a war council. Right now. And I _am_ searching for Mr Snuggles as well… Swains orders are usually very good cover to search bitch assassins rooms."

Katarina rolled her eyes, two new daggers in her hands. "Tell Swain no. I like it here very much right now. And if I ever catch you in my room again, I'll have a new ornament decorating my fireplace." She jerked her head towards the fireplace across from her bed, a large tapestry of the Du Couteau family crest hanging above it.

She turned to walk out the door, grabbing the bacon. '_Guess i'll have to eat it outside.'_ Katarina thought angrily, yanking her door open only to come face to face with Talon.

Cassiopeia hissed with laughter behind her. "Did I mention that it was not a request? It was an _order._"

**Ashe's room…**

The Frost Archer's room had become a meeting place for her friends, due to the larger size. Riven, Leona, Kayle, Caitlyn, and Ashe were seated on the couch, just talking, when there were a couple knocks on the door.

"Come in! It's open!" They chorused at the same time and burst into giggles.

The door opened to admit Lux and Akali, who'd been discharged that morning. Their faces lit up when they saw everyone. "Hey guys!"

"Lux! Akali! You're back!" Leona jumped up and gave them a hug. Ashe smiled broadly, Kayle beamed, Caitlyn waved, and Riven gave a small head nod.

"Yeah! Got discharged this morning." Akali answered, then turned to Caitlyn. The Ionian smiled. "Glad to see you're out too!"

"Say, what's up with these doors? I tried knocking on half of yours, but turns out you were all here!" Lux said. Ashe shook her head, a giggle escaping her lips. "Taric. Taric's what's up with these doors."

Lux's eyes widened. "Oh my gosh… He actually…" She burst into laughter while Akali looked extremely confused. "Say what?" The ninja asked. Ashe motioned them to sit down, which they did, Lux telling Akali what had happened while she'd been Katarina's 'captive'.

"Wow… You really miss a lot when you're trapped with a crazy Noxian assassin." Akali remarked.

"Hey, at least you didn't miss the Sejuani part." Kayle said, looking at Akali. Lux shivered. "That… Girl… Is psycho!"

Ashe thought for a second. "We'd be better off with her back in Freljord. If only…" She sighed. Caitlyn's eyes widened. "I have an idea!" She exclaimed excitedly. Eyes turned to her. "Speak, child." Kayle demanded. Caitlyn rolled her eyes at being called 'child', but didn't correct her. "We should lure Sejuani's boar back to Freljord! She'll go running after him!"

Ashe brightened. "That's brilliant! Sejuani will go after Bristle for sure! But… How will we do that?"

Kayle cleared her throat. "By 'we', I hope you don't need me. I have to return home tonight. Sorry." The angel said.

"Aww… Don't leave us, Kaylie." Leona whined.

Kayle smacked her on the head.

**A/N: Yay! Another chapter! Cameos: Taric &amp; Cassiopeia, as requested by Disdun. Got any others you want me to put in? I won't be able to get all your suggestions in, but I'll do my best :). **

_**CHALLENGE**_**: While you're waiting for the next chapter, I challenge you to do something. Take a stab at guessing which of the two champions in this story are my mains! I think I write a bit biased (But that's my own opinion hahahaha…)**

**Hint: One has been in the infirmary. **

**Good luck! XOXO~Creator0fWords**


	7. Piltovians and Poro's

Chapter 7: Piltovians and Poro's

"This isn't Bristle…" Caitlyn muttered, staring at the sight before her.

It was still the morning, about an hour after they had come up with the plan to lure Sejuani back to Freljord, and they were in the stables, where summoners and champions kept their pets. Instead of a boar, Sejuani's stall had a giant… Poro.

"Ah, I forgot." Ashe said. "It's Snowdown! Sejuani got a new poro for Snowdown from the summoners, something about a new skin, when Bristle fell ill."

"Well, this makes it easier then." Riven said. "Anyone got Poro Snax?"

Ashe and Lux eyed each other before Lux finally spoke up. "Uh… Maybe?"

"Pass it over, Blondie." Leona snapped. Lux sheepishly pulled out her baton and waved it in the air, a box of Poro Snax appearing. The mage handed it to Caitlyn, who looked at her quizzically. "What were you doing with that in the first place?" Caitlyn asked. They knew that Lux could only summon things that she had in her room.

"Ah… Er…" Lux mumbled. The Snax were from when she and Ashe had been marathoning Tales of the Poro King season 2. They hadn't eaten them, more like… Worshipped them.

"It was for the Howling Abyss." Ashe saved Lux. "We were uh, practicing there a little while ago…"

Caitlyn still looked suspicious, but shrugged instead of saying anything about their odd behaviour. "So we'll just lay a trail of Snax from here to Freljord."

"..."

The Sheriff turned. "What? Anyone got any better ideas?"

Akali spoke up. "Well, not better. So we're gonna need more boxes…"

"Person with the least has to lay the trail!" Leona exclaimed, running out of the room.

It was a long way from the Institute to Freljord.

An hour later…

"Where the fuck did you get all those boxes?!" Caitlyn gasped as Akali appeared with a towering stack of Poro Snax. The ninja set them down and grinned mischievously. "I have my ways."

The Piltovian shook her head and watched as Leona, Lux, and Ashe walked in each carrying 2 boxes. 2 large boxes. Riven was hard on their heels with 3 big boxes balanced precariously on her shoulders.

"Dammit! I only got this!" Caitlyn exclaimed, kicking a small box at her feet. Leona grinned. "Looks like you're laying the trail, Catie."

The Sheriff groaned and opened her box, taking out a couple biscuits and laying them on the ground in a trail towards the door.

Another hour later…

"Can I help you ladies?" A voice asked. Akali turned to see Yasuo leaning against a tree and she tensed, thinking back to the reason for his exile. They locked eyes, neither saying anything. Leona broke the silence.

"Laying a trail of Poro Snax, what does it look like?" The Solari snapped.

Yasuo raised an eyebrow. "I can see that but… Why?"

Caitlyn stood up, stretching her sore back. She'd been hunching over all morning, laying the Snax in a trail towards the general direction of Freljord. The friends had decided that instead of going all the way to Freljord (Which would take almost 3 weeks on foot), they would go to one of the portals nearby. Which was still a ways to go…

"It's a long story…" Lux said, handing Caitlyn another box.

"I can help if you tell me the story." The Unforgiven replied. Ashe shared a glance with Leona. "Long story short, we need to lay a trail of Poro Snax to lead Sejuani's poro back to Freljord so that Sejuani can go after her and we'll be free of Sejuani for a while." Ashe said. Yasuo's lips turned up a little bit at the corners. "An interesting plan, but how do you plan on keeping the Winters Wrath in Freljord?"

Tucking the box under her arm, Caitlyn reached into her pocket and proudly retrieved a small circular device. "Portal disruptor. She'll have to come back the long way, so we'll be rid of her for at least a week."

"Hm… You've got this all planned out. I'm guessing you're heading to the portal?" Yasuo asked, jerking his head towards the portal. Everyone nodded.

"Ok. I can help. Dump all the biscuits on the ground in a pile."

Confused, the girls did as they were told. After a few minutes, a giant pile of biscuits lay on the ground. Yasuo unsheathed his blade. "Stand behind me."

They obeyed, and the Unforgiven concentrated for a second, eyes closing briefly. "HASAGI!" He exclaimed, slashing his sword diagonally. A tornado swept the biscuits up and deposited them in a neat trail towards the portal. Caitlyn, Leona, Riven, Ashe, Lux, and Akali followed the tornado until it reached a small, runed platform and disappeared. The champions didn't hesitate and walked through.

The portal deposited them in a small forest with a little path leading out. The tornado went in the opposite direction of the path until it ran out of biscuits and dissipated.

"Well… That was interesting." Lux reflected, shivering from the cold. Snow layered the ground, and a biting wind whipped through the air. "Can we please head back before my fingers freeze off?"

No one needed to be told twice. The group trekked back to the portal and went through to find Yasuo leaning against another tree, watching them with a small smile etched onto his stern face.

"Why'd you help us?" Akali asked, with a little more force than necessary. He shrugged. "Why not? Caitlyn looked like she was going to break her back."

Caitlyn huffed. "I'm never making another bet with you people."

"It wasn't a bet." Leona sniffed. "It was a challenge."

"Ok, allow me to rephrase: I am never accepting another bet or challenge from any of you!"

"That's better." Leona conceded.

Akali was still unsatisfied. "What were you doing there in the first place?"

Yasuo shrugged. "I live here. I'm a champion too, you know."

Before Akali could open her mouth again, Ashe cut in. "Ok, that's enough. Thank you, Yasuo," The man nodded. "We should be heading back now. We have to let the poro out, and then find Sejuani. She's probably out of the infirmary by now.

Everybody nodded.

The stable…

'Why me?' Riven thought despairingly as the stall door loomed before her. The team had elected her to release the poro while they went to find Sejuani. 'I could be killed!' She took a deep breath and quickly unlatched the door, leaping to the side as the giant poro came charging out, inhaling the biscuits. It followed the trail perfectly… Until where they had met Yasuo.

'I was right. Ugh.' The Exile thought as the poro stopped eating turned an eye towards Riven, as if expecting the woman to steal its food.

Riven backed up slowly, hand on the hilt of her sword, as the poro charged. But of course, she couldn't actually use the sword. They needed the poro alive.

"FUCK!" She exclaimed and dove to the side. The animal turned around, horns lowered. Riven's eyes widened and she quickly jumped up and ran towards the trail. 'I have to get him to start eating again! Wait, is it a he or a she- WAIT WHY AM I THINKING ABOUT THAT I'M ABOUT TO DIE!'

The poro had charged again and the ex-Noxian jumped away, narrowly missing a tree. She was seriously contemplating just throwing the plan out the window and killing the poro. 'I am NEVER playing on the Howling Abyss again!'

An idea suddenly sprung into her head, and she groaned. It was bad enough to rival Caitlyn's crazy schemes, but she had no choice.

The next time the poro charged, Riven ducked and rolled underneath, fur brushing against her, and then lay completely still, feigning unconsciousness… Or death. Her sword had skidded a few feet away.

Sejuani's poro turned towards Riven, who closed her eyes and tried to hold her breath as it came nearer. Thank the gods that she had trained in Noxian military or else she'd be shaking…

She felt something sniff her and then lean away. Her heart thudded against her chest. 'I'm going to die… Death by poro… The Noxians will be laughing their asses off!'

To her immense surprise and relief, the poro was either too stupid or too preoccupied with the tantalizing Poro Snax to notice that Riven was still alive. It trundled towards the biscuits and started following them again. Riven waited for a couple of heartbeats before slowly rising and following the beast at a distance.

Meanwhile…

"Sejuani was discharged 5 minutes ago." Soraka said, folding the sheets over the bed. Leona and Ashe were standing in the infirmary, Lux, Caitlyn, and Akali outside. They hadn't wanted to revisit the room…

"Oh! Well, thanks Soraka. See you around… Actually, on second thought, I kinda don't want to. But I don't mean it like that, it's just that if I see you I'll probably be in the infirmary and… I'll just be quiet." Ashe mumbled once Leona shot her a glare with the fury of a thousand suns (which the Solari could do quite well).

The duo walked out the door, only to see that Akali was gone.

"Uh, where's Akali?" Leona asked Lux.

"She went to get breakfast." The Demacian mage replied. "And it's a good idea, too, we haven't eaten yet."

"We can always find Sejuani after breakfast… Or should I say, brunch." Caitlyn said, stomach growling. "I'm so hungry I could eat those Poro Snax!"

Leona sighed. "Fine. Riven should be letting the poro out about now anyways."

They trooped to the mess hall, prepared to sit and relax for a bit. They should've known better.

"HELP!" Akali yelled when she saw her friends walk into the room. The ninja was perched on the ceiling, in Katarina's spot. Sejuani was below her, standing on a table and wildly swinging her flail towards the Ionian, shouting, "GET DOWN YOU FUCKING COWARD! GET DOWN AND FIGHT ME LIKE A WOMAN!"

Lux paled, Caitlyn prepped her gun, and Leona handed Ashe her sword.

Sejuani turned to see the four champions and hissed. "Lady of Luminosity. Sheriff of Piltover. Sunshine. And the Fro- ASHE!" The Winters Wrath roared, narrowing her eyes at the Queen, who clutched Leona's sword tighter, sighing, "Can I ever catch a break?!"

Akali jumped down from the ceiling and took out her kama's. "Sorry Ashie. Doesn't look like it."

At that moment, a sight at the window caught Lux's eye, inadvertently saving them all. "Hey! Sejuani! Isn't that your poro?"

"WHAT? WHE- SNOWFLAKE!" Sejuani yelled, forgetting about the champions and running out of the room. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! GET BACK HERE!"

Leona eyed Caitlyn. "Follow her. You have the device."

The Sheriff sighed. "You're all coming with me!"

The 5 champions followed the Winters Wrath, who didn't notice their presence.

Sejuani charged out the doors of the Institute, after her poro. She caught up just in time to see her ride run through the portal into Freljord. Sejuani leapt in as well.

"Q-Quick, Caitlyn!" Ashe huffed, and the Sheriff took out her device, activating it and tossing it onto the platform. It shone a brilliant blue and sunk into the stone, temporarily deactivating the portal. Everybody heaved a great sigh of relief. Riven came out of the bushes, dirt smearing her clothes and minor cuts and bruises covering her skin from rolling away from the poro.

"Hey Riven, you look… Beaten up…" Leona commented. Riven rolled her eyes. "Can we just head back? I'm half afraid that the device won't work and Sejuani's gonna come charging back any second now."

Caitlyn huffed angrily. "My devices work. Unlike Heimerdinger's. Humph."

The group headed back to the Institute and walked up the stone steps to the large double doors. Lux pushed it open and as they stepped inside, everybody gave another loud sigh. "We're going to have a whole week of peace and quiet now!" Ashe whooped as the door shut. They stood in the entryway for a bit, just enjoying the newfound sense of freedom. "Peace and quiet." Lux sighed. "Ahhh…"

Suddenly, the door banged open and someone boomed, "DRAVEN HAS RETURNED!"

They froze and Riven eyed Caitlyn. "Please tell me that you have another brilliant idea..."

A/N: IMPORTANT INFORMATION AHEAD!

Ahh, another chapter done. Cameo: Yasuo, requested by Rambo Hawk.

It seems a general consensus that my main is… Katarina. You guys can't seem to decide whether the second is Lux, Akali, or Sejuani. Good 'ole Sej. Only ONE person has gotten both of them right! That's good, right? Well, I'll give you a little more time to decide on my other main.

One of my mains is, indeed, Katarina (cue the gasps and cursing). And I'm not trying to be, you know, biased by writing about her a lot, it's because she's one of the main antagonists and you know… They need scheming and the like. So enough of that, I do have something important to say…

I may be starting a new fanfic soon with one of my friends, so this story may not get as much attention as usual (Aka, updates won't happen every second day).

Also! If anyone wants to add me in-game, my IGN is gamergirl1123. Look forward to seeing you on the Rift! =P

As usual, THANK YOU for the reviews, favs, and follows! They give me heart :)

XOXO~ Creator0fWords


	8. Evil Plots and T-shirts

**Chapter 8: Evil Plots and T-shirts**

"THE COOL, THE AWESOME, THE MIGHTY, THE HANDSOME, DRAAAAAAVEN!" Draven announced, hands on his hips and head thrust towards the ceiling. Riven, Ashe, Caitlyn, Lux, Leona, and Akali watched with horror as Draven noticed them in the room. "Ah! A welcoming party! You shouldn't have! Draven has such adoring fans!" The Noxian gushed, and Leona almost gagged.

"Uh… Sure… Yeah… Well we have to go now BYE!" Lux squeaked and charged out the door. Her friends wasted no time and followed her, none of them stopping until they reached the East Wing.

Draven watched them leave, slightly perplexed. '_Draven's mighty presence must be too much for his fans to bear. No matter! As the awesome person that is Draven, I will let them get accustomed to my awesomeness!'_

The Noxian sauntered off to his room.

**Lux's room…**

The door banged open and Lux jumped into her room, heaving a huge sigh of relief. A couple seconds later, her friends joined her and Ashe shut the door.

"Caitlyn… Please tell me you have another brilliant idea!" Leona groaned, sitting onto Lux's bed.

Riven sighed. "I already asked her that."

"C'MON CAITLYN! USE THAT PILTOVERIAN BRAIN OF YOURS!" Akali yelled, grabbing the Sheriff's shoulders and shaking her.

"Whoa, calm there, Akali!" Ashe sighed, pushing the two apart. Caitlyn stumbled backwards, into the door. "Thanks, Ashe." She mumbled.

Akali sniffed and crossed her arms. "I'm not apologizing if that gave you an idea."

Lux spoke up. "Actually… I have one."

Eyes turned to her and the Lady of Luminosity straightened, smiling. "Draven's an egotistical freak, right?"

Riven snorted. "You can say that again."

"So all we have to do is… Find another egotistical freak!"

Caitlyn rubbed her head. "That _could_ work. But I have a better idea."

The Fist of Shadow punched a fist in the air. "I TOLD YOU!"

The Sheriff of Piltover glared at her. "_Lux_ gave me the idea, you tree-pruning little-"

"CALM IT GUYS!" Leona yelled, and silence fell over the room. "Good. Now," She turned to Caitlyn. "Spit the idea out, hun."

"Well, Draven likes being the center of attention. We need to focus our attention on another guy, the way that Draven wants to be focused on. Like, autographs, paparazzi, all that shit. So all we need to do is find a guy willing to be our… Target." Caitlyn said. "It will distract him so that we can take him out!"

Riven brightened. "Great idea! Except for the fact that right now the only guys here are Ezreal, Shen, and Yasuo. They aren't going to be willing."

"Well, one of us could dress up like a guy, right? That way, when Draven tries to take the guy out, he'll never find him!" Lux suggested. Akali smiled. "Good! Now… Who's going to be our man?"

"How about the person who had the idea?" Leona suggested, smiling sadistically at Lux. "After all, you _are_ the best actress as well."

Lux gulped. "I get the lead role in one of Fiora's plays all of _one time_ and now I'm being asked to pretend to be a _GUY_?!"

"No." Leona stood up. "You're not being _asked_."

"Hey hey hey, sit down, Sunshine." Riven cut in. "I'm not criticizing Lux's acting skills or anything, but I don't think she could be the guy. I mean, look at her!"

Lux smiled awkwardly and waved.

"Yeah… You're right." Caitlyn said. "She's too girly. So who's the most guy-like out of us? Hmmm…"

5 pairs of eyes turned to Riven. "Hmmm…"

The Exile's amber orbs widened. "What?! No! I didn't mean… No, not me, not me!" Her hand went to the hilt of her sword, only to find it missing. She turned to see Lux setting it on the floor, and the mage smiled apologetically at her. "I'm sorry, Riven. But better you than me."

**A little bit later…**

'_Damn… She looks kinda hot.'_ Lux thought as she eyed Riven. The light mage had cast a spell on Riven to make her seem like a guy. A stronger jaw, cropped hair, etc… That had seemed to do the trick.

Leona wolf whistled. "I would _totally _date you!"

Riven's eyes narrowed at the Solari. "I wouldn't date you." Her voice came out the same, and Caitlyn rubbed her head, trying to think of ways to change that.

"Hey! I'm sorry that I had to hold you down, but that could've been any of us! I'm just stronger." Leona smirked, flexing her biceps. Riven snorted. "_You _should've been the guy. You have the attitude."

"The name would've worked better too. I could've been Leo."

"EXACTLY! Now my name is Riley!"

"Well, it's too late now." Lux said. "The spell will last for 45 minutes, so we have 45 minutes to get rid of Draven. Got any ideas on how to change the voice, Caitlyn?"

"Well…"

**The mess hall, 30 minutes later…**

"You all totally owe me, BIG TIME!" Riven complained, her voice now deep and masculine thanks to one of Caitlyn's devices.

"Sure, sure." Ashe grinned. "We ready to start?"

Leona checked the time. "Lux should be here any second. PLACES PEOPLE! IN YOUR PLACES! WE ONLY HAVE ONE SHOT TO GET RID OF THE EGOTISTICAL MANIAC!"

Lux walked into the room, a big box in her arms. She opened it up and handed T-shirts to everyone except for Riven, who was now dressed in her armor and a pair of loose-fitting (but stylish) Noxian military pants to hide her curves.

"Hey!" Ashe complained. "Can I trade shirts with Leona?"

"... Go ahead, it's not that important." Lux responded, grabbing one for herself.

"Hey, Leona, trade shirts with me." The Freljordian prompted. Leona glanced at Ashe's, and then her own. "What's yours say?"

Ashe coughed. "_Love me Riley, LOVE ME!_"

Leona shrugged. "Sure."

The two swapped shirts and Ashe gaped at her new one. "_HAVE MY BABIES RILEY?!"_

The Solari smirked. "You should've asked me what mine said first."

Ashe glared at Lux. "Really, Blondie? You couldn't have come up with anything less embarrassing?!"

Lux giggled nervously. "I didn't have much time! And why does everybody call me Blondie?!"

"Quiet! I hear someone coming!" Caitlyn hissed, her shirt reading, "_MARRY ME RILEY!"_

Akali walked into the room, dragging something behind her. "Check out what I found in Lux's room, guys."

Ashe and Lux paled when they saw the thing.

"Uh… Lux? Why did you have an _altar_ in your room?" Caitlyn asked skeptically. Lux glanced at the empty spot on top of the altar which used to hold a box of Poro Snax. "Er… No reason…"

"Mhmm."

At that moment, they heard someone else coming from down the hallway, singing to himself: "Draaaaaaven is the best, Draaaaaaven is the awesomest…"

"QUICK! DRAG THE ALTAR OVER HERE!" Leona hissed, pointing to under the painting of the poro. The friends worked together and brought it under just as Draven entered the room.

The Noxian stopped, surprised, at the sight before him.

"..."

The girls glanced at him, and then at Riven, before remembering what they were supposed to do.

"Oh! Riley! Can I have your autograph?!" Lux squealed, thrusting a piece of paper into Riven's hands. The Exile blinked before quickly getting into character. "Oh, anything for my _adoring_ fans." She/he gushed, signing her signature off with a flourish. Leona, Akali, and Caitlyn immediately rushed forwards, as if clamoring to get an autograph as well. Ashe decided to confront Lux instead, jumping with excitement. "OMG! You got _Riley's_ autograph! OH MY GOSH!"

"YES! Isn't he sooo hot?!" Lux fangirled back.

Draven watched the scene with increasing rage. "WHAT. IS. THIS?!" He roared, and everybody turned towards him, Leona in the midst of getting her shield signed.

"Oh, look." Ashe drawled, looking very bored. "It's that axe-dude. What was his name, Drake?"

"No, I'm pretty sure it was uh… Darius. Wasn't it?" Caitlyn said, hugging her autograph to her chest.

Draven's face reddened. "DARIUS?! NO! I. AM. DRAAAAAAVEN!"

"Oh yeah! It was _Draven_." Lux conceded. "But _Draven_ is sooooo 5 minutes ago. _Riley_ is the new _in._ He's soooo dreamy." The mage sighed, batting her eyelashes at Riven, who smirked (gagging internally) and turned to Draven. "You heard the ladies. You are _so_ out."

Draven drew his axes. "DRAVEN IS NOT OUT! DRAVEN IS IN! DRAVEN IS THE BEST! DRAVEN WILL GIVE ALL OF YOU HIS AUTOGRAPH!"

Caitlyn yawned and placed her autograph on the altar. "You're just not cool anymore, Draven. You just don't cut it."

The Noxian seemed to grow larger with rage and jealousy. Roaring, he charged at Riven. "I CUT MANY THINGS! AND I WILL START WITH YOU!"

The Exile widened her eyes and leapt out of the way. '_THEY DON'T PAY ME ENOUGH!' _She thought, before remembering that she wasn't even getting paid.

Draven nearly crashed into the wall and the altar, instead slamming into the still-broken glass door that led into the kitchen. Glass flew everywhere. Bloodied and cut from the glass shards, Draven picked himself up off the ground and glared at Riven, and then the altar. "DRAVEN WILL BE WORSHIPPED TOO!" He cried, throwing an axe at Riven, who ducked and ran out of the mess hall, Draven following.

The rest of the girls just watched in blank silence. "Should we follow them?" Leona asked.

Caitlyn nodded. "Yeah, sure. Let's stay back though."

**5 minutes later…**

"WHERE IS HE?! WHERE IS THE USURPER?!" Draven boomed, standing in the middle of the library. He had just lost track of Riven, who was hiding behind one of the bookshelves.

"Shh! This is the _library!_" Shen hissed, looking up from his magazine. The Executioner glared at the Eye of Twilight and stalked off into the rows of bookshelves.

Riven had her back pressed against the non-fiction section when Draven rounded the corner and fixed his pale blue eyes on the Exile.

'_Oh no...'_ She thought, but Draven didn't attack her. Instead, he said, "You there! Girl! Have you seen a less awesome person come by?!"

Riven's mind blanked, and then she realized that Lux's spell must have worn off. '_OH THANK THE LORDS!' _She thought.

"Er… No. Did you mean Riley?" Riven asked with a poker face. Draven hissed at the name. "That is the less awesome person that Draven is talking about."

"Uh… He went… Back to… Noxus!" Riven lied, and Draven grinned evilly, not questioning how 'Riley' had gone from the library to Noxus in 5 seconds.

"Thank you. Draven is most pleased. In fact, Draven is so pleased, that he will grant you his autograph!" The Executioner presented Riven with a signed sheet of paper, holding it as if it were precious gold."

"Ah… No thank you. I am touched that you are… Willing… To part with your autograph, but I must refuse your generous offer." Riven said, hoping that he would leave soon.

"Nonsense! Such a devoted fan, I must insist!" Draven insisted. Riven sighed internally and took the autograph, hoping that if she did, he would leave. '_Will this stupid fuck PLEASE leave me alone?!'_ She thought angrily.

Draven blew her a kiss and tromped away.

A few minutes after he left, Caitlyn, Leona, Akali, Lux, and Ashe came rushing into the library, still in their shirts.

"YES! CAITLYN! WE DID IT!" Akali whooped, highfiving the Sheriff. Riven came out of the shelves of books, looking extremely tired, but pleased nonetheless. "I'm never doing that again, but at least we got rid of him." The Exile sighed, plopping onto a futon.

"WOO! YEAH! ANOTHER SUCCESSFUL PLAN!" Ashe cheered, hugging Lux.

"How many times do I have to tell you people?! This. Is. The. Library. QUIET!" Shen growled, looking up from his magazine again, a look of annoyance on his face. The annoyance quickly turned to confusion. "Ashe, who's Riley?"

Ashe looked down at her shirt. "Uh…"

**A/N: Thanks, all of you, for the continued feedback and support :3 :3.**

**The cameo this chapter was DRAVEN. My friends have been nagging me to do him since chapter 3, so will you PLEASE STOP NOW GUYS?! THANK YOU!**

**As promised, I will release the name of my other main (or, at least I think I promised). My other main is none other than miss Luxanna Crownguard, the Lady of Luminosity! As far as I know, only 1 person got both my mains correct. Congratulation, Disdun!**

**Now, I have started another fanfic with my friend Lostsoulmemories, and I won't be updating as quick as before. If you catch any mistakes, please let me know. Also, do you guys want me to post the new fanfic? It will most likely be starring: Akali, Ashe, Ahri, Katarina, and Shen, with some Shen x Akali in it. :3**

**LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT ME TO CAMEO ANYONE ELSE! **

**XOXO~Creator0fWords**


	9. Demacians and Buckets

**Chapter 9: Demacians and Buckets**

"So then Draven walked around the corner and looked at me. I was so freaked, you know, when he came? I thought I was still a guy! But then he asked where Riley was, so I knew that Lux's spell must have worn off! The funny thing was, though, my voice also went back to normal too…" Riven trailed off, looking questioningly at Caitlyn. The 6 friends were eating dinner, having missed lunch getting rid of Sejuani and then Draven. In the same day.

"Hm… I didn't turn it off. It must have… AHA! Yeah, it ran out of battery!" Caitlyn exclaimed, checking a small remote. She'd had Riven swallow a small pill that would change her voice for 2 hours, tops. That was when it dissolved… (Without leaving harm, of course)

"I must have forgotten to charge it! Luckily!" The Sheriff of Piltover chuckled. Riven was relieved. "That turned out well… For once- HOLD ON DID YOU CHARGE THE PORTAL DISRUPTING ONE?!"

Ashe and Leona simultaneously stopped with a fork halfway to their mouths, while Lux nearly choked on her smoothie. Akali grabbed her butter knife and brandished it at Caitlyn, who gulped. "DID YOU FORGET, SHERIFF?!"

The Piltoverian paled. "I- I think I… Didn't charge it…"

Lux spit her drink out all over Riven, who didn't notice because she was too busy trying to strangle Caitlyn, who had wisely gotten out of her seat. Ashe lowered her cowl, ice blue eyes glinting dangerously as she stood up, and Leona handed the Frost Archer her sword again.

Akali was trying to restrain Riven.

"Let. Me. GO!" The Exile roared. "I DID NOT ALMOST DIE BY A PORO TO HAVE MY HARD WORK WASTED!"

Ashe was glaring at Caitlyn, who was trying to hold back laughter. Akali tightened her grip on Riven. "Hey! Calm do-OW! IF YOU DON'T STOP THAT I SWEAR THAT I WILL PUNCH YOU IN THE BOOB!" Akali screamed as Riven started thrashing around in her grip.

"You asked for it!" The Kinkou ninja muttered and leveled a hard punch onto Riven's chest. The Exile crumpled to the ground, groaning in pain.

"Now. Explain yourself to the others, Caitlyn." Akali turned to Caitlyn, grabbing her butter knife again. "I know you were lying when you said you didn't charge the battery. It's the only reason you're still alive. I can move faster than Riven."

The Sheriff gulped, laughter gone. "Sheesh! I can't make a joke?! Gosh, you people." She muttered. Ashe lowered Leona's sword. "Don't make another joke about a serious matter again, do you hear me?" The Queen commanded, glaring icy arrows at the Piltoverian. Leona had sat back down to continue eating her steak, and Lux visibly relaxed, slumping into her seat with a big sigh of relief.

"Ok, ok!" Caitlyn exclaimed, holding her hands out in front of her as her companions sat back down to eat. Riven got up from the floor, muttering dark things under her breath and glaring at Akali and Caitlyn.

They resumed their seats and continued eating in strained silence, until Caitlyn finally broke it. "So uh… I have to leave at 7-" She never finished her sentence, as Ashe had nocked, drew, and launched an arrow by her head in a record 0.8 seconds. The Frost Archer's eyes blazed dangerously. "I thought I told you to not make jokes about serious things?" She said, voice dangerously cool.

The Sheriff's eyes widened. "I-I wasn't j-j-joking!" She stammered. "I actually h-have to g-g-g-go!"

Lux sighed. "Why do you guys have to keep leaving?"

**About 2 days later…**

"I actually can't believe that we got 2 days of peace and quiet!" Ashe exclaimed, coming out from Lux's bathroom. The friends had all had a slumber party the night before, in the Demacian's room.

Akali stretched and got out of her sleeping bag. "I know right! And nothing bad happened when we had a party this time!" The Ionian sighed contentedly. "Last time, Ezreal was trying to kill Leona, Ryze was trying to kill Shen, and Katarina got my donuts."

"Yeah… Speaking of which, where _is_ Katarina, anyway?" Leona wondered.

**Yesterday night…**

The bed was soft and familiar. Red curtains blocked some of the fading sunlight, but the rest fell over the assassins face. Katarina groaned at the splitting headache she had and sat up, grimacing in pain.

The door banged open, doing nothing to help the headache. "GOOD! YOU'RE AWAKE!" Cassiopeia bellowed, throwing open the curtains to show the sunset. Katarina hissed at the sudden light and dove off the bed, using it as a shield against the sunlight. Her sister scoffed. "Who are you, Vladimir? It's not even morning. Jeez. Now get up, we have a meeting in an hour."

The Sinister Blade blinked groggily. "M-meeting?" She croaked, throat dry. "W-what happened? Where am I…"

Slowly, she took in her surroundings. A bookshelf. An ebony door. King-sized bed with silk sheets and soft pillows. Targets on the ceiling and over her TV.

"What the… Is this my room?! Are we back in Noxus?!" The assassin leapt up. She was still wearing her clothes, her knives on the bedstand. Katarina quickly strapped them on, glaring at her sister for an explanation.

"Yesss." The Serpents Embrace hissed. "Talon had to knock you out; with his fists, _and_ drugs. You have quite a thick skull, sister."

Said sister snorted. "So I was dragged back for… A meeting?"

"Pretty much."

"So… If I was the only Noxian there, then who's there now?" Katarina asked. Noxus had insisted that there always be a Noxian at the Institute, to guard their section of the North Wing. And for information, of course. Cassiopeia shifted her tail. "That executioner, Draven."

Katarina stared at her sister for a minute and groaned. "Let's get this meeting over with quick, then."

**After the meeting…**

It was all the usual shit; how to attack the Demacians, how to attack the Ionians, how to conquer Valoran. Katarina had barely listened, instead plotting her own schemes. How to get rid of Sejuani. How to torture the Fist of Shadow. The best ways to dissect a human body on the Fields of Justice.

When the meeting was finally adjourned, Katarina had been confronted by Swain, the real reason she had been wanted back in Noxus. He'd questioned her, and finally asked if she was staying at the Institute for Snowdown, to which the Sinister Blade had said yes.

Swain had given her a new set of daggers as an early Snowdown gift.

The flabbergasted assassin had accepted the gift, just as the doors burst open.

"WHERE IS HE?! WHERE IS THE USURPER?!" Someone boomed, and all heads turned to the newcomer.

"Wha- who?" Somebody asked, and Draven turned to the unlucky bastard, fire in his eyes. "RILEY! I MUST KILL HIM!" The Executioner roared, turning around. He started searching around the Meeting Room, lifting chairs off the ground and checking behind tapestries as if someone were hiding there.

Katarina facepalmed. '_So… Now there are no Noxians there. GREAT.'_

"DARIUS! GET YOUR ASS IN HERE, NOW!" The Sinister Blade screeched. The Hand of Noxus came charging in. "What's the- oh." He groaned and slung his axe over his back again to handle his brother. Katarina turned to Swain. "I'm heading back. _Now_."

The Master Tactician nodded mutely.

**Back to the present… **

"I don't give a shit, as long as she doesn't steal my donuts again." Akali muttered darkly. Everyone agreed, and got dressed for the day. They wandered as a group down to the mess hall and got their breakfast.

"Oh! Guys!" Lux squealed excitedly once they had seated themselves with their food. "Guess what?"

"... You're dating Ezreal?" Leona guessed.

"You lost your virginity?!" Akali gasped.

"I ALWAYS KNEW YOU HAD A SECRET BOYFRIEND!" Ashe squealed.

Lux sighed. "Why do you assume it's about my love life?!"

Leona gasped. "So you _do_ have a love life!"

The Demacian mage reddened. "Wha- what no! I mean… Yes! I mean- oh my goodness I will just tell you what happened…"

"Please do." Akali said expectantly.

"Garen is visiting!" The Lady of Luminosity cried, throwing her hands up in exasperation. Ashe chewed thoughtfully on her waffle. "I see… I see…"

The Fist of Shadow slammed her fist onto the table. "Garen? Ok then. I left my kama's in your room, Lux, I will be right back."

Lux didn't like the sound of that, but stood up anyway. "... I will accompany you, then."

'_Just in case you run into my brother and try to kill him or whatever you plan to do with those kama's of yours.' _the mage thought to herself, getting up and following the Ionian ninja out of the mess hall and into the East Wing.

**Meanwhile…**

'_Where is that Ionian… Hmmm…" _The Sinister Blade wondered as she stepped into the Institute. After all, she'd never finished with her last time.

As the Noxian prepared to head to her room, she saw two figures slip out of the mess hall.

Lux and Akali.

The assassin quickly hid in the ceiling rafters (as usual) and followed the two friends into the East Wing.

They walked into a room, Lux waiting outside while Akali went to get something.

Katarina smiled evilly to herself. '_That must be the Ionians room!'_

The assassin waited until they walked back out and into the mess hall. She would ambush Akali later.

**Later…**

Katarina peeked into the hallway just as the door closed and grinned deviously to herself. Time for some fun.

She strode quickly in front of her target's door and teleported inside, right on top of the surprised occupant who was lying on the bed.

"Akali~" Katarina purred, eyes closed and a Cheshire cat grin spreading across her beautiful face.

"K-Kat… Arina?" Lux gasped in shock. The Noxian's eyes flew open to see not terrified brown eyes, but startled blue ones. She frowned. "Blondie?"

Someone knocked at the door and Lux opened her mouth to call for help. Noticing this, Katarina slapped a hand over the Demacian's mouth and glared at her. "Not a sound. Do you hear me?" She hissed. Lux bobbed her head once in confirmation when she saw Katarina reach for her belt. The knocking stopped. And then the door burst open.

"LUX! I KNOW YOU'RE- what the hell?" A confused voice came from the destroyed door.

The girls turned their heads to see Garen, standing in the doorway, eyes wide in horror and realization.

"It's not what it looks like!" Katarina blurted out, trying to think about what it would look like from the Might of Demacia's eyes. '_A Noxian lying on top of his sister, in her bedroom, on her bed, not answering her door… OH. '_

"GAREN! HELP ME!" Lux screamed, pushing a startled Katarina off of her petite body. She ran to her shocked brother and hid behind him. The Sinister Blade looked at them and scoffed. "I- that wasn't… Fuck all of you!" She hissed and teleported behind them, running back down the hallway.

"W-wait!" Garen called, taking off after the Noxian assassin. Lux watched her brother chase after a renowned Noxian assassin and moved to follow, but something caught her eye. The Lady of Luminosity turned her eyes back into her room to see her calendar flashing, alerting her to something. '_Oh! I must have had something planned for today!' _She thought, crossing the room.

On todays date was scrawled: PREMIERE OF SEASON 3 OF THE TALES OF THE PORO KING

"OH GOODY!" Lux squealed, jumping up and down, all thoughts of her brother and Katarina vanishing.

**Down the hall… **

Seeing him coming, Katarina quickly ducked around a potted plant and into a supply closet, closing the door and breathing a sigh of relief. '_What the fuck does that oaf want?' _She wondered, and decided that she didn't care.

The door opened and Katarina froze in shock, back against the wall, as Garen shut the door. The Demacian's face was shrouded in shadow as he growled. "Katarina. What were you doing in Lux's room?"

The Noxian wasn't dumb. She knew that in this situation, Garen had the upper hand. His massive body blocked her exit, and she couldn't teleport outside if the door was closed; who knew what was out there? His broadsword could cleave her in half in the small room with one swing, and her daggers wouldn't do as much damage without sufficient room for them to build velocity.

"Is that any of your business?" Katarina put on an indifferent face as Garen flicked on the light switch. His blue eyes flashed as he asked again, more forcefully this time. " What were you doing in my sister's room?"

The Sinister Blade reached for a dagger on her hip. "What did it look like?" She taunted. What he said next completely surprised her.

"You know, if you wanted to find me, you could've found a better approach." Garen stated.

Katarina was stunned. '_Is this bitch serious?'_

He looked serious. There was not a trace of amusement or mirth on his face. Damn.

"Find… _You?"_ She asked incredulously. The Demacian came closer.

"Yeah. I mean, why else would you be in there?" He laughed. "It's impossible for you to have a thing for my sister."

The Noxian assassin was completely baffled with the turn of events. But her wits remained sharp. '_I can use this to my advantage somehow… Right? I need to incapacitate him to escape… But how…'_

Her jade eyes landed on a big bucket by her foot. She judged the size of it to Garen's head. '_Hm. It might be too small for his fat head.'_

"Uh… Of course not. I don't have a thing for _that_ Crownguard." Katarina made sure to emphasize the word _that,_ hoping that the blunt soldier would get her double meaning.

He blinked. "You… I…"

Katarina batted her eyelashes seductively and crossed to Garen, placing a hand on his chest. "You what~?" She purred, internally gagging at what she was doing. '_Only the strong survive… Even if that means… Ew, I'm not even going to fucking think about it.'_

"I-I-I… You smell nice." He stammered, and Katarina frowned. '_What the fuck?!'_

"Uh… Thanks?" She muttered. Here goes nothing.

She stood on her tiptoes and firmly pressed her closed lips against Garen's.

The Demacian's mind immediately went blank and his senses started going haywire. '_What- WHAT? OH MY GOD WHAT IS HAPPENING?!'_ He screamed in his head, his arms going around the redhead and pushing her against the wall. A small corner of his brain was ringing alarm bells at the sudden assault, but he pushed the feeling down.

Katarina felt absolutely disgusted, but she knew that she had managed to incapacitate the Demacian. Sliding a little down the wall, she grabbed onto the bucket with a hand and broke the kiss. Garen looked dazed and the Sinister Blade smiled sadistically. "Bye bye~" She drawled and crammed the bucket onto the Might of Demacia's head.

"MMM!" He screamed, voice reverberating because of the metal on his head. Katarina slipped out the door and quickly made it to her room.

**A little bit later…**

Ashe sighed. "I knew the peace and quiet wouldn't last another day."

The muffled screaming noises from the supply closet had been heard by the Frost Archer, on her way to her room. She'd opened it and found the Might of Demacia lying on the floor, trying to pry a bucket off his head. Needless to say, she was surprised.

"HEY! LUX!" She yelled down the hallway. Lux opened her door. "WHAT?" She screamed back.

"IT'S YOUR BROTHER!" Ashe shouted, and Lux came charging out of her room towards the Frost Archer.

"What happened?" The mage asked. Wordlessly, the Freljordian pointed into the supply closet.

"Are. You. Serious?" Lux sighed. "I had to interrupt my marathoning of Season 3 of _The Tales of The Poro King _because my brother got his head stuck in a _bucket?!"_

Ashe shot a glare at her friend. "YOU WERE MARATHONING SEASON 3 WITHOUT ME?!"

Lux shifted nervously. "Uh… Maybe?"

**A/N: Whoa, that took a long time for me to write. Don't you just hate writers block? This was like, what, 5 days without updating?! UNACCEPTABLE! :O **

**Cameo: Garen, requested by Elsa the frost archer! Hope you enjoyed ;) **

**As always, thank you for the follows, favs, and reviews! They give me the motivation to keep writing this story :) So who's gonna be the next cameo? **

**XOXO~ Creator0fWords**


	10. Blind Dates and Blackmail

**Chapter 10: Blind Dates and Blackmail**

"Ok… This bucket is stuck on _tight_!" Lux complained, falling to the floor after trying to pry the bucket off her brother's head for the twentieth time.

"Mah hee urtz!" Came the muffled reply from the bucket. Ashe leaned closer. "What?"

"MY HEAD HURTS!" Garen yelled, wincing in pain as the sound reverberated through the metal.

"Ugh. We can't get it off!" Ashe complained. "How did this even happen?!"

Lux rubbed her head. "Katarina, I think. I mean, she tried to rape me and then Garen came in-"

"HOLD UP!" The Frost Archer yelped. "Did you just say that Katarina tried to _rape_ you?!"

"Yeah… I think I did." Lux answered. Ashe stared at her, wide-eyed. "Why?"

The light mage pondered this for a second and then shrugged. "She called me Akali. I think she was trying to- HOLY SHIT! SHE WANTED TO RAPE AKALI!" Lux sprang out the door. "I HAVE TO WARN HER!"

The archer watched her go, confused. Lux rarely ever swore. And she forgot about her brother's dilemma in 20 seconds. '_That girl is a real piece of work...'_

Ashe debated on how to help her friend's brother. '_Maybe I should go fetch Soraka…?'_

But to get help, she needed the full story. Ashe knocked on the bucket. "Hey, Garen. How did you end up in the bucket?"

**The infirmary**

"Mmm… Just like that… Harder…" The woman breathed as Soraka obeyed.

The door opened. "SORA- What the… Irelia?" A confused Ashe asked from the doorway.

A half-naked Irelia raised her head. "Oh, hi Ashe." Only a towel covered Irelia's lower half, and she was lying face-down on a padded table. Soraka stood above her, wiping her hands on a towel. "How can I help you, Ashe?" The Starchild asked. The archer frowned. "What… Are you doing?"

"What's it look like? She's giving me a massage!" Irelia explained, sitting up and grabbing her clothes. "I think that's enough for today, Soraka. Thanks!"

"Anytime." Soraka smiled.

"... So uh, Soraka." Ashe said awkwardly. "I need your help. Garen… Got his head stuck in a bucket." She left out Katarina's part in it, as it would only lead to more questions, which she didn't need at the moment.

Soraka merely raised an eyebrow. "You can't get him out?"

"Nope."

Irelia finished dressing and stretched. "May I ask how the Might of Demacia got his head stuck in a _bucket_?"

Or maybe she _would_ need to mention Katarina's role…

**About 5 minutes later…**

Ashe had mentally applauded Katarina's extreme tactics when Garen had told her the story. She was sure that Lux would've facepalmed, and that Irelia would have a similar reaction to Lux. She was right.

"Wow." Irelia breathed when Ashe finished telling them the story. "Garen actually _told _you that?"

"He's a soldier; a Demacian soldier. I don't think he feels the shame." The Frost Archer replied. "Anyways, we still need to get the bucket off his head…"

Soraka shook her head. "Sorry, I don't think there's anything that I could do. I could shrink his head, but that could leave some… _Permanent_ side effects."

Ashe sighed. "That wouldn't work." The archer paced around the room and eyed something lying under Soraka's desk. "Soraka… Is that a chainsaw?!"

The Starchild fixed a neutral look on her face. "No… It's a uh… Ionian medical tool… thingy…" She made up, as Ashe narrowed her eyes suspiciously at Soraka.

Irelia snapped her fingers, her magical four-pronged blade twirling in excitement. "I have an idea!"

Wary of ideas now, thanks to Caitlyn, Ashe slowly turned her head to the Will of Blades, Soraka's suspicious attitude forgotten. "You do?"

The Ionian smiled. "I can probably cut the metal off his head!" Her weapon spun around a couple times, as if to prove her point (no pun intended).

The Freljordian knew it was a terrible idea.

**The North Wing…**

'_Psssh. Demacians are so easy to manipulate.'_ Katarina thought gleefully, flinging a dagger into her ceiling and summoning it back to her fingertips. She chucked it at a target above her fireplace, which was a mere placeholder until she could find someone's head to display.

The Noxian stretched, bored. '_I still never found my plaything…!' _She realized, opening her door. "I will find her! And this time, nothing will stop me." She said out loud, grinning deviously.

Poor Akali.

**The East Wing…**

"Ok… Just hold still, Garen." Ashe said, kneeling by the soldiers head. It bobbed once in confirmation, not knowing what was about to happen.

Irelia cracked her knuckles and let out a deep breath. "Let's do this!"

Her blade rushed through the air, cutting off the top of the bucket and shaving off a little bit of Garen's hair. He was confused as to what had just happened, but held still.

The next one sheared down the back of the bucket, a sizable amount of Garen's hair coming off. Combined with the 'haircut' on the top, it made his hair look square from the back. Irelia and Ashe both had to contain a small giggle.

"Ok, I think you can pry it off now." The Ionian said, and Ashe walked back around to Garen's front. With the help of the trapped Demacian and the Will of Blades (and the Will of Blade's blades), they managed to pry the remaining portion of the bucket off.

Garen gasped, face red, as he finally managed to inhale air that wasn't tainted by the rusty metal prison, eagerly letting the oxygen into his lungs like after a particularly exhausting fight.

"T-thanks!" He panted, standing up and giving the ladies a grateful smile. Irelia smiled back, and Ashe shrugged. "No problem. It wouldn't be awfully Queen-like of me to just leave you there, now would it?" The archer teased. Garen nodded. "No. But it wasn't very soldier-like of me to leave my guard down and get incapacitated like that."

Irelia squinted at him. "Was that a joke?"

Garen looked confused. "Joke?" He repeated, scratching his head. "No, I don't think so. But please excuse me, I must go find Ka- I mean, my sister." Garen smiled, nodded, and walked away, leaving two confused women.

"... How Lux and him are related, I will never know." Ashe stated. "But anyways… Thanks, Irelia. Is there any way to repay you?"

Although technically it wasn't _Ashe's_ head that was stuck in the bucket, she still felt grateful for the Ionian's help.

Irelia leaned against a wall and eyed the mutilated bucket. "Hmm… Well… I kinda had a uh, bet, with Leona…"

**Flashback to earlier that day…**

Irelia opened the doors to the Institute, suitcase in hand. She smiled to herself. Ionia was lovely, but the Institute would be more fun, especially with only champions and no summoners. Just like last Snowdown…

Lost in her memories, the Ionian didn't notice another person until they were right in front of her.

"What's up with the smile, Irelia?"

The Will of Blades started back to the present to see Leona in front of her, a mischievous smile on her fair face.

"N-nothing. I was just thinking of last Snowdown…" Irelia answered, walking into the building. Leona followed her. "Last Snowdown? You mean, when you kissed-"

"Shut up, Sunshine." The Will of Blades whirled to face the Solari, eyes dangerous and weapon spinning close to Leona, who looked surprised. "Whoa there, calm down, Irelia…"

The blade moved closer. "Don't speak of that." Irelia hissed. Sensing her imminent doom, Leona knew there was only one thing to do to distract Irelia.

She laughed.

The Will of Blades raised an eyebrow, and her father's weapon lowered a couple inches. "Leona? Are you… Ok?"

The Radiant Dawn wiped a tear away from her eye. "Oh, yeah!" She guffawed. "Just dandy! HAHAHA!"

Irelia looked seriously concerned, which only made Leona laugh harder. When she finally calmed down, face red and gasping for air, Irelia just stood there, as if afraid that the Solari would go crazy again.

A big grin lit Leona's face. "With an attitude like that, no wonder it's so hard for you to get a date!"

This time, the Ionian reddened. "I-I-"

"No really, how did you get them to agree? I bet that you can't get anyone else to agree to go on a date with you!"

The Will of Blades sniffed. "What I did is none of your business. As for your bet, I will prove you wrong!"

**Back to the present…**

"Really? You made a bet with _Leona_? Oh jeez…" Ashe muttered. "Let me guess… You want me to set you up on a date with someone?"

Irelia shifted her feet nervously. "Yeah, I guess… Do you know anyone?" She eyed the archer hopefully.

"That depends… Anyone in particular?"

Irelia shook her head.

"What do you want them to be like? Kind, smart, handsome, etc?" Ashe was stalling at this point. She didn't know anyone that she could set up with Irelia. The Freljordian was going to tell her that, but then…

Irelia's eyes unfocused. "Someone mysterious and handsome. Maybe with light hair? Like, light blonde or silver or like yours…" She flicked a strand of Ashe's white hair. "Someone smart and like the strong, silent type. And mysterious. Did I mention mysterious? But also handsome. Did I mention handsome? And what about light hair-"

Ashe slapped a hand over Irelia's mouth to prevent her from going on further. "Ok, I think I know a person. But can I ask you another favour as well…?"

The person she had in mind was _not_ going to be happy.

**Meanwhile…**

"AKALI!" Lux shouted, barging into the bathhouse. Her eyes widened. "Oops! Sorry!"

Riven glared back at her, a towel wrapped around her lean figure. "Close the door."

Lux shut the door and backed away from it… Right into someone. She closed her eyes. silently praying. '_Please let that not be Katarina, please let that not be Katarina...'_

"Were you looking for me?" Akali asked, pushing Lux away from her body. The mage sighed in relief at the person not being an angry assassin. "Yeah, but I forgot what I was going to say…"

Akali looked amused. "Ok then, let's head back into the Institute."

Lux nodded and the two walked back. "How did you know I was looking for you?"

"Good hearing… And you weren't exactly quiet…"

"Oh…"

Lux racked her brains. What was it that she wanted to warn Akali about? Hmm…

She went backwards over her memories. '_Finding Garen with a bucket on his head… Ashe hitting me for marathoning without her… Marathoning season 3… Garen showing up at my door… Katarina appearing on top of me- OH!' _

"Right! Akali! I remembered!" Lux exclaimed as they walked by the mess hall. "Kat-"

She didn't finish her sentence. Having been thinking so hard, Lux hadn't noticed that there was a wall right in front of her, and walked right into it with a big _THUMP!_

Akali stopped walking and reached over to help her friend get up. "You ok, Lux?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine!" The mage laughed. "How stupid of me! As I was saying, just watch out. Katarina is… Looking for you."

Akali nodded. "Thanks, Lux. I'll keep an eye out."

She continued walking for a bit before realizing that Akali wasn't with her anymore. The Demacian shrugged. Akali did this a lot, so she wasn't worried.

**Above her…**

Akali struggled futilely, trying to hit her assailant. There was only one person who could, and would, teleport them to the ceiling rafters.

"Aww, Akali~" Katarina purred. "Stop struggling. You'll only make it _worse~_"

**The bathhouse…**

Riven clambered out of the water and wrapped the towel around herself again. She walked towards her clothing, feeling relaxed and peaceful. '_Nothing can ruin my mood now!'_ The Exile thought, pulling on her armour.

And then the door opened.

"Riven. I need your help." Ashe said.

The Exile looked up in surprise. "How'd you know I was here?"

Lux poked her head around the doorway. "Hi again, Riven! Sorry about the last time… Hehehe…" The mage laughed awkwardly. Riven blinked. "Sure, it's ok. It happens…?" She trailed off with a question, curious as to why they were here. A few minutes passed in silence. "What do you guys need?" The Exile finally asked. Ashe cleared her throat. "We need you to be a guy again."

Riven's eyes widened as she tightened the last strap on her armour. "NO! NO! NEVER AGAIN!" The Exile grabbed her sword and barreled past Ashe and Lux, out the door.

And then she realized her mistake.

"HIYA!" Lux threw a snare at her, and Riven didn't dodge quite in time.

'_I should've stayed in the violence-free bathhouse! UGH!' _Riven complained as a cage of light surrounded her.

"Just hear us out, Riven." Ashe pleaded as she came nearer. The Exile waited for the cage to dissipate and tried to run again, only to find her movements turn sluggish. The ground seemed distorted. "DAMN IT, LUX!" She roared. "LET ME RUN AWAY FROM YOU GUYS IN PEACE!"

"Neeveerrr!" Lux chirped back, rooting Riven in place again.

"Riven, if you don't help us, I swear to Avarosa that I will tell Draven about you being Riley!" Ashe desperately yelled.

The Exile froze. Draven wasn't that scary, even, but an _angry_ Draven… Even an ex-Noxian such as herself knew that wasn't something that she wanted to handle.

"You wouldn't!" Riven exclaimed, without much conviction. She knew that Ashe would do it.

**The next evening…**

"H-hi!" Irelia stood up, face red, as she greeted her 'date'. '_Oh my gosh… He's so handsome!'_

Riven/Riley managed a smile. "Good evening." She/he said, voice deep after breaking into Caitlyn's room and stealing a batch of the voice-altering pills.

They sat down, on opposite sides of the table. Irelia was wearing a red Ionian dress with heels, and Riven had on the same outfit she'd worn to trick Draven. Her friends had advised her not to wear a tux, as Lux said that it would be difficult to disguise her physique. The armour had seemed formal enough, given the false background that Ashe had provided.

Riley, age 22, single, from the Avarosan tribe. Ashe had said that 'he' was one of her best fighters. Being the leader of the tribe, it was easy to come up with this lie. The Queen had told Irelia that Riley had been training with a sword master in the nearby area, and suggested that Riven not bring her too-conspicuous sword to the restaurant.

The waiter came as soon as they sat down, bringing with him two menu's. Irelia had only just got there as well.

The Ionian ordered the special, and Riven ordered a steak.

Once the male waiter left, Riven decided to make some small talk. Lux and Ashe were in the restaurant as well, watching her every move. And listening, as well.

Stupid Piltoverian listening devices.

"The waiter was totally checking you out. And I think he likes you." Riven winked, and Irelia laughed. "No way!"

The waiter came back with drinks. "Here you go, enjoy." He said. Irelia was confused. "We didn't order any drinks."

The waiter, whose nametag read _Allen_, smiled. "It's on the house."

He left, and Irelia raised an eyebrow at Riley. "I guess you're right!"

They both laughed.

"So, where are you from?" Riven asked, remembering that her character didn't know anything about Irelia.

"Ionia. I'm head of the Ionian Guard." She blushed.

Riley smirked. "Really? You must be quite the girl. League champion, head of the Ionian Guard…"

Irelia felt embarrassed, for some strange reason. "Well… Enough about me, what about you!" She mumbled, and Riven laughed. It was kind of fun, actually, to see the normally stoic Irelia squirm under her gaze.

"Well, let's see. I'm an E-" Riven froze. She'd almost slipped and said Exile!

"I'm an Avarosan, under the leadership of Queen Ashe, her best fighter, and I'm trying to learn Noxian sword techniques!"

Irelia raised an eyebrow. "Why Noxian?"

Riven brightened. Fighting and sword techniques were something she knew well!

**Meanwhile, in the same restaurant…**

Leona had followed Irelia to her date, just to see if she was lying.

Apparently not.

The Solari was surprised that the Ionian had found a date so quickly. '_She definitely surprised me..!'_

When the silver-haired guy had walked up to Irelia, Leona had found something familiar about his features, and his clothes, but she just couldn't quite put her finger on it…

'_Never mind that.'_ Leona thought, sipping her wine. '_It'll come to me...'_

**A couple tables over…**

"This is working out well!" Lux laughed, and took another bite of her chicken. Both she and Ashe had a little earpiece clipped onto their ear, and they could both hear the conversation that Irelia and Riven were having. The food had arrived for them, and the two were talking animatedly and laughing.

"Yeah! If I didn't know better, I'd think that Riven actually _likes_ Irelia. Like, _like_ her. In that way." Ashe giggled.

"Whoa girl, I don't think… Yeah actually you're right." Lux laughed. Then her eyes caught on someone. "Wait… Is that Leona?"

Ashe paled. "Shit! If she recognizes Riven…"

They both turned to look at Leona, who was staring at Irelia and Riven with a puzzled look on her face, as if trying to figure something out.

"We have to distract her…!" Lux whispered, as if Leona could somehow hear them over the dozens of other talking and laughing patrons. From a couple tables away.

"Wait! Lux!" Ashe hissed as Lux got up and walked towards Leona.

'_This is bad… If she puts Lux's presence together with Riven...' _

The Frost Archer leapt up and grabbed the Demacian light mage's arm. "Stop! I'll do it!"

Lux sat back down and watched Ashe make her way over to Leona. "Hey, Leona! Fancy seeing you here!" The archer called, as if seeing her for the first time that night. Leona tore her gaze away from Irelia and Riven. A smiled appeared on her face. "Hey, Ashe."

Ashe sat down across from Leona, who leaned towards her. "Does that guy seem… Familiar to you?" She was pointing at Riven. '_Crap! At least she hasn't figured it out yet…!'_ Ashe thought, panicked.

"Eh… Not that I know of. Actually, yeah… Now that I think about it…" She said. Leona nodded her head. "Yeah, I know right. I just can't quite put my finger on it, though. It's starting to hurt my head!" She laughed. So did Ashe… Until she saw someone walk in.

Ashe locked eyes with Lux from across the room, mouthing, '_TROUBLE!'_

"Is that… Draven?" Leona squinted at the newcomer.

Ashe gulped. "Yup…"

**Authors Note: **

**Cameo: Irelia, requested by angels123! Hope you liked it, buddy :) **

**So, some cameo's 100% won't work, such as the ones forced to fight for the League. So sorry, no Brand, no Fiddlesticks, and I don't know who else was forced… **

**I'm sorry as well if some of the characters seem OOC, it's the way I envision them and it may not match up with the lores. **

**IM ALSO SO SORRY THAT IT ISN'T AS FUNNY AS BEFORE (I cri) because writers block absolutely SUCKS! I'm starting to run out of ideas for the story! But let's hope for the best, eh? As always, THANK YOU FOR the favs, follows, and reviews! :D**

**XOXO~Creator0fWords**


	11. Victims and Noxians

**Chapter 11: Victims And Noxians **

Riven spotted Draven at the same time as Irelia. The Ionian frowned. "Hey, isn't that Darius?" She stabbed a fork into a vegetable. "Hate that guy."

Riven forced out a laugh. "That's Draven, Darius's brother. Although he's more annoying." She shivered, recalling the time when she'd had to pretend to be a guy to lure him out. '_Good thing I'm not a guy right n- OH SHIT!'_

She was a guy right now.

"I uh, have to use the washroom. I'll be right back!" Riven got up from the table and made a beeline for the restrooms… Where she ran into another dilemma.

'_Do I use the male washroom or the female washroom?!' _

Seeing that she currently looked like a guy, the Exile pushed open the door to the mens washroom. And then realized that she couldn't actually _use_ the urinals in it.

'_...I'm not actually a guy… Ok, I'll just wash my hands then!'_

As the disguised female turned the tap on, hoping that no one came in, the door swung open. She froze, praying that it wasn't Draven…

Sneaking a peek into the mirror, she saw that it wasn't Draven. It was…

Xin Zhao?

The Seneschal of Demacia didn't seem to notice her; he was preoccupied with a neon pink bag, rummaging through the contents and muttering to himself. "Princess Snugglebums, General Fluffy, or Major Snuffles? Or does he like Princess Fuzzypaws… I know that Garen is getting him Blossomhorn…"

"..."

'_I think I should go now...' _Riven thought. Just as she reached the door, Xin Zhao snapped his head up and looked at her. "'Scuse me, may I ask a favour of you?"

"Err… Sure?" Riven said, cautiously walking over to Xin Zhao. The Demacian looked relieved. "Can you help me pick one of these out?"

The bag held stuffed plushies of various poro's. He looked slightly embarrassed to be in possession of these.

"What do you need these for?" The Exile asked, utterly confused. The Seneschal picked up General Fluffy. "My liege is throwing a party today, and he has been _dying _to add these limited edition, talking poro's to his collection! I know that Garen is getting him Blossomhorn, so which should I give?" He squeezed Princess Snugglebums to demonstrate her talking ability. "_My knight! You have returned to me!"_

His liege? _Jarvan IV? _Oh jeez...

"..."

"..."

"Can't you just give him all of them?"

Xin Zhao let out a _huge_ breath. "That's a great idea! Thank you, er…"

"Riley." She said automatically.

"Thank you, Riley!" Xin Zhao beamed. "I owe you one! And please don't tell anyone!"

He rushed out of the restroom, the pink bag hidden behind his broad back.

'_Well that was weird.' _Riven thought, heading after him.

Draven was nowhere in sight when Riven walked back to her table. Irelia looked up at her. "Do you know Draven? Like, personally?"

The Exile was confused. "No, why?"

"He came up to me and asked if I knew you; or more accurately, asked about a 'usurper'? And then he gave me his autograph…" The Will of Blades held up a piece of paper with Draven's picture on it and a line on the bottom that read, '_You'll never be as awesome as me, but you can hope!'_

Riven almost gagged.

**A couple tables away…**

"Hey, isn't that my brother?" Lux wondered out loud, glancing at the corner table. Sure enough, her Garen was sitting with Jarvan IV and Xin Zhao. The three seemed excited over something, and Jarvan kept polishing his commando shades. And _blushing._

The Lady of Luminosity got up, quickly looking over at Leona and Ashe. The Frost Archer had managed to distract the other woman, and Lux snuck behind her brother.

"Hi."

Garen jumped, and then laughed. "Luxanna! Don't scare me like that! I thought-"

"That I was Katarina?" The mage smirked, crossing her arms and sticking her tongue out. Garen raised an eyebrow. "No, I thought that you were the waiter. Or waitress… The food _still_ hasn't arrived yet!"

Jarvan cleared his throat, discreetly shoving something underneath his seat. "Lady Luxanna, you have _finally_ decided to grace us with your presence."

Lux was confused with his wording. "What do you mean? I saw you last week, before Snowdown break!"

The Exemplar of Demacia sighed. "Why does everyone forget?!"

Xin Zhao patted his back. "It's alright, Jarvan. We didn't forget!" He smiled, motioning to himself and Garen, who was looking around the restaurant, glaring at other peoples food.

Jarvan nodded. "Yeah. But if you didn't come here for my birthday, Lux, what are you doing here?"

Lux frowned. "Your… Birthday? But…" The mage whipped out her baton and summoned her calendar. Her eyes roved down and she froze.

Underneath the _huge_ block letters that reminded her about season 3 of _The Tales of the Poro King,_ was a reminder. '_Jarvan's b-day tomorrow! DON'T FORGET!'_

Looks like she'd been too pre-occupied with the first announcement; and somehow decided to not put the reminder on the actual _day_ of his birthday.

"Ahh… I did have it written down…" Lux muttered sheepishly. Jarvan stood up and looked over Lux's shoulder at her calendar. His eyes widened and his jaw dropped. "SEASON 3 STARTED ALREADY?! I THOUGHT THAT WAS NEXT WEEK!_"_ He yelled, much to the annoyance of the other patrons. Ashe and Leona glanced over briefly, Riven and Irelia both raised an eyebrow, and Xin Zhao fingered the pink bag that he had yet to give his liege.

"You… _You_ watch it too?!" Lux gasped, turning to her prince in astonishment.

It was going to be an interesting evening.

**Back to Riven…**

"What was _that_ all about?" Irelia wondered, sneaking another glance at Jarvan IV. "I've never seen Jarvan that excited about… Anything!"

Riven laughed. "Tell me about it! He actually looked _mad_ when he got a pentakill in that Demacia vs. Bandle City match 2 weeks ago!"

Irelia looked confused. "Wait, how do you know about that?"

'_Oops...' _Riven thought. "Er… It was broadcasted…"

The Will of Blades still looked suspicious. "It was?"

It wasn't, and Riven knew that. She'd been in the game, after all. As a substitution for Bandle City. One of Teemo's mushrooms had taken out half of his Yordle buddies earlier that day, while he'd been practicing.

Ah, memories.

"It wasn't a live broadcast." Riven fibbed. Irelia looked like she was about to argue, but then the expression on the Ionian's face changed. "Riley?" She whispered, gaze fixed on something over Riven's shoulder.

"Yeah?" She replied, turning around. "What's the- HI?"

Oh boy.

"Hello, usurper." Draven replied cooly. "Goodbye, usurper."

**Back to Ashe and Leona…**

Ashe saw Draven walk behind Riven; and boy, did he look _angry!_ And kind of excited. But mostly angry- oh, wait, now he looks excited.

"Shit!" Ashe muttered. Leona frowned. "What's up with Draven?"

And then she put it together.

Draven's angry look. The familiar white-haired guy.

The _blind date._

A crystallized arrow soared across the restaurant and exploded upon impact against Draven, freezing the executioner in place with one hand inches away from Riven, who looked shocked. Her eyes met with Ashe's.

"RUN, RILEY!" The Queen screeched, cursing as she waited for enough magic to return to fire another arrow. Draven was starting to thaw already.  
Riven quickly got out of her seat, flung down some money on the table while apologizing to a flabbergasted Irelia, and sprinted out of the restaurant.

She didn't make it far.

Darius walked back into the establishment, Riven hanging by her collar.

The waiters, seeing that there were champions in the restaurant; _angry_ champions in the restaurant, quickly started evacuating the patrons out through the staff doors. They had some difficulty, as one old man refused to leave the restaurant without his daughter. When the waiters told him that there were no other girls in the restaurant (apart from the champions), he started jumping up and down like a 2-year old. Finally, one of the waiters had to go back to his table to look for his daughter; he came back with a rubber duck. The old man took it and contentedly walked out the door, stroking its rubber plumage and muttering, "You're safe now, Isabella. Come, let us go find your sisters!"

In the chaos, Lux finally realized what was going on, at the same time as Xin Zhao, Garen, and Jarvan IV.

"HEY! Put the man down, Darius!" Xin Zhao brandished his spear at the Noxian. "No one harms my friends!"

The Exile rolled her eyes. All it took was one bathroom excursion to be his friend?

Darius smirked. "Gladly."

He flung Riven across the room, and she smashed into a potted plant with a loud CRASH!

As the Hand of Noxus tried to run to his brothers aid, he was stopped in his tracks by a cage of light. Draven was trapped too, and he did _not_ look happy about that.

Irelia had gotten out of her seat and run over to Ashe. "Ok, I don't know what the _fuck_ is happening, all I know is that my date just got flung into a wall by Darius and that his brother was trying to kill him. SO WHAT IS HAPPENING?!" Irelia grabbed Ashe by the shoulders and shook her.

Leona stepped in, pushing the Will of Blades off of Ashe. The Frost Archer staggered a few steps. "Ok, I'll tell you later!" She panted. " But right now we need to help Riv- I mean, Riley, and get rid of Darius and Draven!"

Lux fired another cage of light as she made her way over to the other girls. "How will we get rid of them?!"

The spell wore off and the brothers started towards Riven's unmoving body, only to be stopped by 3 Demacians.

"I don't know what is happening, but I'm standing with Xin Zhao!" Jarvan declared, his lance leveled at the Noxians. Garen nodded assent, sword ready. Xin Zhao smiled at his friends. "Thanks guys!" He said, and then glared at Darius. "Let's kick some ass!"

While the males fought, Lux, Irelia, Leona, and Ashe tried to come up with a plan. Well, more like Lux and Ashe came up with a plan while Irelia watched and Leona paced.

"We need to fight fire with fire… " Ashe mused.

"A Noxian with a Noxian…" Lux added.

They met eyes. "We need another Noxian!" They said simultaneously, the same idea in both their heads.

"We need Katarina."

**Back at the Institute…**

The Sheriff of Piltover walked down the hallway of the West Wing, her suitcase dragging along behind her. Digging her key out of her pocket, Caitlyn opened her door and stepped inside, flicking on the lights and throwing the suitcase into her open closet. She sighed in relief as she flopped onto her couch, the days travels already behind her.

Something, or someone, started pounding on her door. Caitlyn groaned. "What?"

"I know you're in there, Sheriff." Came the muffled reply. "NOW OPEN THE GODDAMNED DOOR!"

The brunette heaved herself off the couch and slumped over to the door. The second it opened, a certain redhead had her pinned against the opposite wall by her throat. Caitlyn started gasping for air, and Katarina loosened her grip slightly. Very slightly.

"Where are your handcuffs, Sheriff?" The assassin hissed.

"Mmmm *gasp* mmmm!" Caitlyn replied, still unable to speak. The hold on her windpipe loosened a _little_ bit more.

"Wha- *gasp* what do you need them *gasp* for?" She managed to say. Katarina's eyes flashed. "Don't question me. Now, WHERE ARE THEY?!" She whipped out a dagger and pressed to to the hollow of her victims throat.

"I- *gasp* b-bottom left d-drawer!"

The Noxian smiled and let Caitlyn go. "See, telling me wasn't so hard, now, was it?"

The victim rubbed her throat while she watched the redhead go over to the drawer and retrieve a pair of fuzzy handcuffs. She paled, realizing that she'd given the wrong pair to the Noxian…

"My my, Caitlyn. You've been a naughty girl lately, haven't you?" Katarina drawled, picking up the handcuffs and clipping them onto her belt. She strutted over to Caitlyn's bathroom and admired herself in the mirror. "Mm, I'm a _sexy_ officer!" The Sinister Blade laughed in a poor imitation of Caitlyn's accent, walked out of the bathroom, past a confused Piltovian, and back out the door, shutting it behind herself.

'_... Ok then…' _The Sheriff of Piltover thought. '_But what is she going to do with that…?!'_

**Katarina's room…**

"Akaaaali~" Katarina purred, closing her door behind her and slinking closer to her prey.

The Fist of Shadows eyes widened when she saw the handcuffs and she struggled against her rope binds, moving the chair a couple of inches forward. "Mmmm! Mmm!"

The Sinister Blade chuckled. "I told you, struggling will only make it wor-"

_KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!_

Katarina and Akali both turned their heads to the door, one angrily, one hopefully.

"What?!" The Noxian screeched, stalking over to the door and slamming it open. "Caitlyn, I'll give the cuffs- what the fuck!"

There was nobody there.

Katarina was not amused. "Teemo, you little runt. Show yourself!"

"..."

"You asked for it, Satan!"

Her leg struck out in a sweeping kick, but hit nothing. The Sinister Blade hissed and turned back to Akali, only to find the Kinkou ninja being freed from her bindings by a floating dagger. They met eyes.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"... WHAT THE FUCK?!" Katarina unfroze and launched a couple of daggers towards the floating one. It danced out of the way, aa Akali's ropes fell off. The ninja was scared now, of the angry Noxian, and of the strange apparition that had saved her.

The air shimmered, and a few seconds later, a certain light mage came into sight, the dagger still in her hand. Katarina's eyes locked onto her. "Blondie!" She hissed, and Lux gulped. '_Shit, my spell wore off! I'm sooo screwed!'_

Or not.

Akali grabbed her hand. "Hold on!"

Traveling through the shadows, the duo ended up in the North Wing hallway.

The redhead whipped out her door and ran towards them, screaming, "GIVE ME MY AKALI BACK!"

Shivering, Akali yanked on Lux's arm. "RUN, BLONDIE!"

Half running, half shadow-dancing, the Fist of Shadow and Lady of Luminosity ran out of the Institute, a teleporting Noxian assassin hot on their heels.

"W-where are we going?" Akali panted. An idea crept into Lux's mind. "Follow me!"

Thank god the restaurant wasn't far.

The original plan shuffled through the light mage's thoughts. How she was supposed to free Akali, turn her invisible, and leave a note for Katarina.

**[The note]**

_Dear Ms Du Couteau,_

_If you want Akali back, come to the restaurant next to Singed's bar. _

_Sincerely, Darius._

**[Back to the story]**

Yup. Blame it on Darius.

The doors to the restaurant slammed open, and Lux shoved Akali into Leona.

The room was in utter chaos.

Plates lay shattered on the ground. Tables were upturned. And there was a stray piece of toilet paper stuck to Riven's forehead; speaking of which, the still unconscious Exile was now hidden behind a makeshift fort of tables along with Leona, Irelia, and Ashe. Meanwhile, the 5 men were still fighting.

"We haven't much time, we-"

The doors flew off their hinges and Katarina, eyes burning with green venom, stalked into the room. She took in the brawling men and the huddled women, before picking up Lux by the throat and pinning her against the wall. The mage choked and struggled for air while her friends stood numbly by, unable to help as Katarina had a sharp knife by Lux's throat.

"The next one of you," Katarina hissed, knife digging into the Demacian's windpipe. "To interrupt my Akali time, is going to _wish_ that I'd kill you."

Garen felt his heart shatter, while Irelia raised an eyebrow. "_You_ two are a… _thing_?" She gaped, eyeing the handcuffs which were still attached to the Sinister Blade's belt. Akali shook her head vehemently. "No! Of course not! I-"

Leona gasped. "Don't lie to us, Akali! Are you dating Kat-"

"SHUT UP!" Katarina screamed, a dagger flying inches away from Leona's face. "And can someone tell me what the _fuck _happened to this restaurant?" She chucked Lux towards the girls, and they all went to catch her. In the 5 seconds it took to right Lux, Akali was back in Katarina's grasp.

Xin Zhao cleared his throat. "Draven attacked my friend Riley."

Katarina facepalmed. "Disgraceful!" She hissed, turning to the brothers. "Darius, I thought I told you to keep your brother in line!"

The Hand of Noxus huffed. "Well _you_ try doing it!"

A dagger sailed into the wall next to him, and Darius flinched.

"And on top of failing your _ONLY JOB, _you can't even defeat 3 Demacians!"

"Hey!" Jarvan complained, but everyone ignored him.

"Idiots!" Katarina seethed. "Now, get OUT of my sight. You have 5 seconds."

"Wha-? But… But…" Draven protested.

"5."

"Hey! You can't boss us ar-" Darius complained.

"4."

Katarina unsheathed her sabers and glared at Darius.

"3."

"Swain will-"

"2."

"I think we should get out of here." Draven whispered to his brother. "My awesomeness is at risk here!"

"1."

The Noxian brothers raced out of the restaurant, a dagger sticking into the door after them.

Xin Zhao raised an eyebrow at the authority that the assassin had over the _Hand of Noxus._ But he wasn't going to question it. Much.

Meanwhile, Garen was still standing in the same position he'd been in when Katarina had threatened to kill his sister. '_She… She… And Akali… She… But…'_

The assassin blew a stray strand of red hair out of her face. "If you'll excuse me, I will be leaving now." A sinister smile lit on her face as she dragged Akali out of the restaurant.

The Fist of Shadow's brown eyes begged for her friends to help her, but before they could make a move, she'd been teleported away.

"... Holy shit, I didn't know that they were dating…" Ashe muttered, eyes bugging out.

"Unnghh…" Riven moaned, startling everyone out of their silent reveries.

Irelia raised an eyebrow at her/him. "Riley, you look different…"

Lux and Ashe exchanged looks while Leona looked amused. "How did you get her to agree?" She asked, and Ashe paled. "You know?"

"... It's kind of obvious, since Draven was trying to kill her."

Irelia looked confused. "Hold on, what are you talking about? And why are you referring to Riley as a _she_?"

Lux coughed as she felt the magic from the illusion spell on Riven wear off. "Look for yourself, Irelia."

Slightly scared, the Will of Blades slowly lowered her gaze to her dates.

"R-R-RIVEN?" The Ionian gasped.

"Hmm?" Riven groaned and slowly opened her amber eyes and got up, rubbing her head. "Yeah, Irelia?"

And then she realized that Irelia had called her by her actual name.

"Oh… Well this is awkward." She mumbled, blushing red.

Memories flooded both their minds.

Of last Snowdown.

Of a bet.

Of a dark night.

Of a closet.

Of being caught by Leona.

"It is indeed…" Irelia mumbled back, glancing at the grinning Solari. "It is indeed."

_**A/N: **__**SLIGHTLY IMPORTANT INFORMATION AHEAD!**_

**o_O so what exactly happened last Snowdown? Do you sense a prequel? -.o**

**Anyways...**

**OMFG OMFG I FINISHED THE CHAPTER YESSS! That was a LOT more difficult than I'd originally anticipated. **

**CAMEO: Xin Zhao, requested by none other than miss KanadeSong! Hope you enjoyed it! **

**If you haven't already, go check out my profile! I have a list of *possible* stories up, so if you like the idea, just PM me! If I get enough PM's, I may post it! **

**Ermm… So I think most of you have noticed that my super-quick update speed has slowed down by like 3-5 days. I'm sorry, but i'm doing my best! The ideas are just running out, and i'm kinda maybe starting to lose interest in this story… **

**Anyways, thanks for the reviews, follows, and favs! Cya next chapter~**

**XOXO~Creator0fWords**

**RAGE CORNER: DID ANYONE ELSE SEE THAT NEW KATARINA SPLASH ART!? NO RIOT! NO! DON'T MAKE IT HAPPEN! ** #kat1


	12. Memories and Missions

**Chapter 12: Memories And Missions**

After Ashe awkwardly suggested that everyone head back to the Institute, the champions left the destroyed restaurant a large sum of money and an apology note.

"Well, that was certainly an evening to remember…" Irelia said to Riven as they walked to the Institute. "Although I'm still extremely confused about you being a guy…"

"Don't be!" Lux piped up. "Ashe, tell them the story!"

**Later that night…**

Riven tossed and turned in her bed, trying to get some sleep. Which was already impossible at that point, but then…

"OW!"

Someone disturbed her restless state even more.

The Exile bolted upright, leapt out of bed, and grabbed her sword. "WHO'S THERE?!" She shouted. Her eyes roved the room, taking in details in the dim light.

It was 6am (or so her digital clock said); her clothes were on the back of her chair–she was wearing clothes, don't worry. The window was open- wait what?

She was sure that she'd closed it the night before.

Lying in a heap underneath the windowsill was…

"_IRELIA?!_"

The Will of the Blades slowly sat up, rubbing her head. "... Hi!"

The two stared each other down, suddenly remembering being in a similar situation.

Dark night.

Dark room.

Snowdown.

***DRAMATIC FLASHBACK TO LAST SNOWDOWN***

"Caitlyn, truth or dare?" Vi asked, wiggling her eyebrows. The Sheriff shrugged. "Truth?"

"If you had to kiss someone in this circle right now, who would it be?"

O_O

Caitlyn looked around the all-girls circle: Ahri, Vi, Irelia, Leona, Sona, and Sarah Fortune.

"P-Pass…" The Piltovian stammered, picking up a cup and chugging the contents. Vi shook her head disapprovingly. "You got no guts, Cupcake."

"*hiccup* I'm not answering that question!" Caitlyn exclaimed. "A-Ahri, truth or dare?"

The fox smiled and stroked one of her nine tails. "Truth~" She purred.

"I truth you to-"

"That's grammatically incorrect." Irelia sniffed. Caitlyn glared at her and kept going.

"If you had to make out with someone in this room, who would it be?"

Vi scoffed. "Stealing off of my questions, Cupcake."

Ahri ignored her and appraised everyone in the room with her golden eyes, giggling. "Sona."

"..."

"Cat got your tongue?" Ahri teased the mute, who was as red as Sarah's hair.

"*cough* ok, Ahri, your turn…" Sarah interrupted their silent staredown. The nine-tailed fox flipped her hair over her shoulder and stretched out on the floor. She lifted her feet and playfully kicked them in the air. "Hmm… Irelia~" Her golden eyes locked onto the Ionian, who shifted nervously under her stare. "Truth… Or _dare~?"_

"Dare, then." She did not want to answer a make-out question. What came next was even worse.

"I dare you to kiss someone, but they have to be willing as well. But at the same time unknowing of the dare." Ahri said, breaking out into laughter.

_*DOING*_ the make out part.

"PASS!" Irelia immediately grabbed a cup and downed the drink. Leona sighed. "This is no fun; you guys always chicken out."

"Yeah!" Vi agreed, glaring at Caitlyn.

Ahri shrugged. "Meh."

Sarah huffed. "Your dares are too extreme."

The fox had dared her to ask Draven out on a date.

*Sarah shivered at the thought*

Sona said nothing.

"Shit!" Irelia exclaimed as she accidentally knocked over a cup, the contents sloshing all over Leona. The Solari didn't look mad. Instead, she looked… Excited?

Everyone knew the rules.

The Will of the Blades sighed. "So what's the bet?"

When someone spilt a drink on someone else, the two must have a bet (This was later changed to a truth, after this Snowdown).

The Radiant Dawn was feeling quite evil. Ahri's original dare for Irelia in mind, she spoke.  
"I bet that you can't get someone to willingly kiss you if they don't know about the bet."

Irelia's jaw dropped. "That's not fair!"

"Rules are rules." Caitlyn sighed, feeling sympathetic towards the other woman.

"UGH!" Irelia complained.

Leona smirked. "Loser has to eat one of Teemo's mushrooms."

'_Now there's no way that I'm going to lose this…'_ Irelia decided. Being poisoned was not on her bucket list.

She sighed. "Fine."

***END FLASHBACK***

"So what are you doing here?" Riven wondered as Irelia mentally recalled her bet. The Ionian blinked.

"I… I wanted to talk." She said softly, standing up. "I couldn't sleep, and I guess you couldn't either."

Riven laughed, discarding her sword. "Sneaking in through my window probably wasn't the best choice, but at least you didn't fall and hurt yourself."

"You live on the first floor, Riven…"

"Riiiiight."

Irelia walked towards Riven. "Do you still remember last Snowdown?"

The Exile laughed. "Yup…"

***EPIC FLASHBACK***

"Draaaaaven has such adoring- hey, wait, where are you all going?" The Noxian was confused as to why everybody ran down the nearest hallway when he walked… No, correction, sauntered… No, _strutted,_ into the room. Yeah, strutted.

"Quick! HIDE!" Jayce exclaimed, pulling Caitlyn and Vi into the closest room. Ezreal leapt through the door next to theirs with Ahri, and Irelia shoved Riven into a closet before heading in with her.

The door shut, leaving the two in darkness.

**5 minutes later…**

"Ok, I think the coast is clear!" Riven breathed, stumbling towards the door in the near darkness. She reached for the doorknob and turned it.

Nothing.

She jiggled it. "The doorknobs jammed!"

Irelia swore. "Let me see!"

The Ionian tried to open it with similar results. "Shit!"

"Let's just bang on the door until someone hears us." Riven suggested. She raised her fist to knock on the door, but Irelia stopped her. "NO!"

The Exile was confused. "Do you _want_ to be stuck in here for who knows how long?!"

"Do you want to _die_ when the door opens?!"

"... What?"

The question seemed totally out of context to Riven.

"Riven, you do realize that we are next door to Sejuani right now, right?"

"So?"

"Sejuani. Is. SLEEPING. If we wake her up…" Irelia didn't need to finish her sentence.

"Oh. Well… shit."

**10 minutes later…**

"Hey, I think I found something!" Irelia exclaimed. A second later, the lights flared to life. Riven hissed at the sudden brightness and ducked her head into a bucket.

***END FLASHBACK (Due to things happening in the present)***

_KNOCK! KNOCK!_

Irelia and Riven started out of their shared reverie and glanced at the door. Then at each other. And then at the door again.

_KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!_

Riven snapped to her senses. "IRELIA! HIDE!" She hissed, and the Ionian immediately dove into the open closet, hiding herself behind jackets, dresses (*gasp of shock*), and scraps of armour.

Riven opened the door to see an impatient Leona.  
"Hi, Leona. Can I help you?"

The Solari crossed her arms and sighed. "Have you seen Irelia?"

The Exile panicked, feeling a sense of déja vu. "NOPE! NEVEREVENHEARDOFHER, WHAT'SANIRELIAIHAVENEVERMETANIRELIAINMYWHOLELIFE. NOPE. NUH UH."

Leona looked at her strangely. "Are you ok, Riven?"

"JUST DANDY!"

"... 'Kay then… Bye!" Leona hurried away from her friend.

**Meanwhile…**

"Ok, ladies!" Ashe cracked her knuckles. "Even though we are few in number, we can do this! Anyone got ideas?"  
"... Ideas for Operation Rescue Akali Privately by Eloping or for more people?" Lux asked.

"BOTH!" Ashe exclaimed, bringing out her whiteboard and writing '_Operation Rescue Akali Privately by Eloping'_ on it.

Caitlyn cleared her throat. "ELOPING?"

"Uh, yeah. Why?" Lux asked.

"You do know what that means, right?"  
"Ezreal said that it meant kicking ass in the name of DEMACIA!" Lux chirped.

Caitlyn facepalmed. Ashe ignored her.

"Great! Operation R.A.P.E is underway!"

**Meanwhile, in the West Wing…**

_KNOCK! KNOCK!_

"What is it?!" An angry voice yelled from within his room. The door flew open.

"Hey, Ezrea- Why aren't you wearing a shirt?" Leona stared at his scrawny figure and raised an eyebrow. Ezreal flushed red and slammed the door. He opened it a few seconds later, once he'd put something on.

"Hey, Ezrea- Why are you wearing a bra?" Leona stared at his bust-less chest, where a lacy white bra hung. He shrugged. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"... Aren't they for girls?"

Ezreal flexed his arm. "Sexism."

"... 'Kay then, bye!"

Leona ran out the hallway, only to bump into Yasuo. And knocked him over.

"Oomph! Oh, sorry Yasuo!" She helped the swordsman to his feet.

"It is ok, Leona. May I ask why you were in such a hurry?" Yasuo wondered. Leona coughed. "Ezreal… Was wearing a bra…"

His eyes widened. "Did you take a picture?!"

"... No, why?"

Yasuo whipped out his smartphone. "INSTACHAT IT!"

**A couple minutes later…**

_KNOCK! KNOCK!_

"What is it?!" Ezreal called again, yanking the door open.

"Got it!" Yasuo whispered excitedly to Leona, both sitting on the ceiling rafters (courtesy of a couple of wind techniques).

"Humph." The Prodigal Explorer shut his door and went back to… whatever he was doing.

**Back to Riven's room…**

"Ok, Irelia! I think the coast is clear…" Riven said, opening the closet door. Irelia looked up from a piece of Riven's undergarments.

"You know, I think that black suits you better." The Ionian said, putting the panties back into the drawer and walking out of the closet. Riven reddened.

Irelia continued on, oblivious to the Exile's discomfort. "You know, that kind of reminded me of when Leona walked in on us…"

***EPIC/DRAMATIC/ANOTHER FLASHBACK #3!* **

An hour had passed, and still no one came to their rescue. Both had left their phones to charge in their rooms. The closet was cramped, small, and starting to get _very_ warm.

"Ugh. It's like a sauna in here." Irelia complained. Riven nodded. "Feels like when we went to Ionia to-" She cut herself off, remembering that Irelia was Ionian… And part of the war.

The Will of the Blades grimaced. "Yeah…" She whispered.

**5 minutes later…**

"I'M SORRY!" Riven sobbed, burying her face into Irelia's shoulder. Tears streamed down the Ionian's face as well.

"I-I told you, it's not your fault!" She wailed, hugging the ex-Noxian closer. "You have proven that you want nothing to do with Noxus!"

"But you're wrong!" Riven cried. "I want to rebuild Noxus, not disconnect from it!"

"SAME DIFFERENCE!" Irelia weeped.

They pulled back, staring into each others eyes, amber to green.

"You Ionians are so… Understanding." Riven sniffed. "If you were a Noxian, I'd be lying in a pool of my blood with the word _WEAKLING _scrawled on my forehead."

"That's… Harsh." The Will of the Blades responded, not quite sure what to say. Tears drying on their faces, they slowly leaned closer to each other. The Exile closed her eyes as their lips touched, caught in the moment. And then…

"HOLY SHIT WHAT?!"

Leona was standing in the doorway.

Flustered, the two women jumped back from each other, Irelia slipping on a mop and falling with a loud _CLANG!_ onto the bucket (you know, the one that Garen got his head stuck in). Riven leapt right into the wall and fell into a heap on the ground.

The Radiant Dawn wolf-whistled. "Classy."

***END THIRD FLASHBACK***

"I ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT!" Irelia cried, ducking her face into the Exiles shoulder, which were shaking with sobs. "So many lives! So many!" She wept.

"On your side or mine?" Irelia managed to say.

"SAME DIFFERENCE!" Riven wailed, pulling Irelia closer to her.

(Yep. Déja vu. All that's left is…)

_KNOCK KNOCK!_

(Ok, I was waiting for the part right before that but FINE! I guess that works too!)

"RIIIIIVEN!" Ashe called. "OPEN THE DOOOOOOOOR!"

Riven groaned. "Not again!" She complained, releasing Irelia. "Hide, I don't think we need people questioning why we were in here together… Crying."

"'Kay." Irelia replied, wiping her tears off and going to the closet to flip through Riven's clothes again. Such fun!

The Exile made herself look presentable and opened her door to see Ashe, Lux, and Caitlyn standing there, looking expectantly at her.

"*sniff* what?"

"Riven, we need you to join us on Operation R.A.P.E!" Lux provided, bouncing up and down with excitement. Caitlyn rolled her eyes.

"... Operation _Rape?!_" Riven gaped, not wanting to join in on the Frost Archer, Lady of Luminosity, and Sheriff of Piltover's crazy schemes if it involved raping people. Speaking of which…

"Sheriff, how can you be a part of this?!" The astonished Exile asked. Caitlyn sighed. "R.A.P.E stands for-"  
Ashe cut her off. "Resue Akali Privately by Eloping!"

"Uh, you do know what eloping means, right?" Riven raised an eyebrow.

"THAT'S WHAT I SAID!" The Sheriff threw her hands up.

**North Wing- Operation: R.A.P.E**

"Alright guys, you know the drill." Ashe said, slinging her bow onto her shoulder. Lux, Riven, and Caitlyn nodded.

"On three?" The Frost Archer checked. Everyone nodded.

"THREE!"

After a brief delay, they charged towards the door and bowled it down, falling in a big pile on top of it.

"Unnghh… I think we could've thought that out better." Caitlyn groaned, feeling the weight of Riven's armour on her.

At least she was lighter than Kayle.

Lux leapt to her feet. "SURRENDER AKALI TO US OR IN THE NAME OF DEMACIA, I WILL PUNISH YOU!" She screeched, brandishing her baton at…

Nothing.

"Something tells me that this isn't Katarina's room…" Ashe said, looking around. "Not unless she has a thing for birdcages, which I don't think she does."

There were at least ten iron birdcages strewn around the room; hanging from ceilings, above the bed, by the bathroom, you get the idea.

"Hey, what's that?" Lux wondered, walking over to a giant portrait.

"Uh… A mutant bird-thing?" Riven suggested.

"Looks like Beatrice." Caitlyn said.

They came to the same realization at the same time.

This was Jericho Swain's room.

The reaction was as if they had just realized that they were in a radioactive barn.

"Don't. Touch. Anything." Ashe breathed, slowly inching backwards towards the door.

Caitlyn and Riven followed suit, while Lux examined something on Swain's bookshelf.

The light mage reached a hand out and Ashe nearly had a heart attack. "LUX! DON'T TOUCH IT!"

Too late.

The Lady of Luminosity had pulled out the copy of _The Demacian Diaries_.

Said bookshelf spun around, revealing a bunch of monitors.

"What the hell?" Riven whispered, walking over towards it.

"This is creepy…" Caitlyn said, realizing that the monitors all showed real-time footage from all the Noxian champions rooms. Each monitor had a label on it to differentiate.

"Hand of Noxus." Ashe read aloud. "Probably Darius. Snake… Probably Cassiopeia. Annoying bighead… Draven?"

"Or Katarina!" Lux offered. Caitlyn shook her head.

"I really don't think that the Sinister Blade would have pictures of Draven in her room…"

"That's true." Lux conceded. "And this one's probably Katarina's." She pointed at a screen on the bottom right.

The label read, in capital letters, ANNOYING REDHEAD.

They all turned their eyes to it, and to the scene playing out before them.

Caitlyn widened her eyes.

Lux gasped.

Ashe choked.

Riven fainted.

"What. The. Actual. FUCK?!" Caitlyn yelled.

**Meanwhile, in the library…**

Shen felt a disturbance in the balance of the universe.

But his magazine was more important.

Flipping a page, the ninja felt a buzzing in his pocket. He pulled his phone out to see that he had a text message from Leona.

Sunknyght13: SHEN YOU GOTTA SEE THIS XD

'_One photo attached'_

Ninjaboi7: What is it?

Sunknyght13: Didya look at it yet?

Ninjaboi7: No, i don't trust you. Now what is it?!

Sunknyght13: Ezreal wearing a bra.

NinjaBoi7: WTH? O-O

Shen clicked on the image and dropped the phone laughing.

**The mess hall…**

"Morning, Ezreal." Irelia yawned, grabbing a plate. The Explorer nodded to her and continued attacking his eggs.

The Will of the Blades sat down at a table by the window, eating and thinking.

There was a lot to think about.

_THUD!_

"Heyyy Irelia!" Kennen said, sitting down across from his fellow Ionian. "What's up?"

Irelia snapped her head up. "Wha- oh, nothing much."

He raised an eyebrow. "Is everything ok?"

"Yeeaaah…!"

More than a little suspicious, Kennen left to find Shen and Akali after saying "Cya later then!"

**The North Wing- Operation: R.A.P.E**

Caitlyn, Lux, and Ashe watched Katarina and Akali watch tv.

Or, more accurately, watch _Draven._ Which was why Riven fainted.

The two appeared to be watching some sort of torture network, as their screen was taken up by scenes of Draven admiring himself in the mirror, flexing his muscles, yelling, "DRAVEN IS NUMBER 1!" and trying to dance seductively.

What made it even more horrifying was that they were _laughing._

"She… She's been brainwashed!" Ashe whispered.

"Now we _have_ to save her!" Lux whispered back.

"Why are we whispering?" Caitlyn whispered.

**The North Wing- Katarina's room**

Akali turned to look at Katarina, and found her laughing at something on her phone. She was laughing so hard that she actually dropped it onto the ground, tears welling up in her eyes.

"Are you ok, Kat?" Akali wondered, scooting further away from her 'captor' on the couch.

"BAHAHAHAHA! Yeah, I-I'm fine- AHAHA!" The assassin managed to say before erupting back into laughter. Curious, Akali picked up the fallen phone.

The ninja fared no better than the assassin, immediately erupting into laughter.

"E-Ezreal! In a BRA!" She choked out. Katarina hugged her stomach. "He looks so stupid!"

"YES!" Akali agreed. Finally, after a minute or two, they composed themselves.

Katarina took her phone back. "Screenshotting."

"You better!"

The Sinister Blade took a screenshot and then eyed the tv again. "Eww, Draven. Must've accidentally sat on the remote or something."

Akali took one look at the tv and started gagging. Katarina eyed her. "I should've used this to torture you from the beginning." She lamented. The Fist of Shadow sat up, eyes wide. "NO! PLEASE NO!" She begged. The Noxian laughed and shook her head. "Ok, fine."

Akali relaxed and curled up next to Katarina. "I wouldn't mind the fuzzy cuffs though." She giggled.

Suddenly, the door burst down.

"SURRENDER AKALI TO US OR IN THE NAME OF DEMACIA I WILL PUNISH YOU!"

Ashe groaned. "We should have thought it out better this time too." The Avarosan was stuck underneath Riven and Caitlyn.

Katarina hissed and jumped up. "I hope that I won't have to hurt you. Violence before lunch is bad karma." The Noxian narrowed her eyes at them, knives already in hand, playful demeanor gone.

Caitlyn gulped. "Maybe we should-"  
"NO!" Lux cried, brandishing her baton. A red laser appeared. "DEMACI- OW!"

The laser disappeared. Lux's baton went flying across the room, along with a small knife.

"Whoa, guys!" Akali cried, appearing in front of her friends. "No need to fight!"

Ashe glared at Katarina, who had teleported to a corner of the room, another knife in her hand already. "Of course we don't need to fight. If she gives you to us, we will go in peace.

Katarina shrugged. "Ok then. Take her."

"I didn't think s- wait what?" Ashe's blue eyes widened.

"I said, take her." The Sinister Blade repeated. "Are you deaf?"

"N-n-no, but-"  
"Ok then, thank you let's go!" Caitlyn interrupted, grabbing Akali by the arm and dragging her out.

**Operation: R.A.P.E**

**Operatives: **

**The Frost Archer**

**The Lady of Luminosity**

**The Sheriff of Piltover**

**The Exile**

**Status: Complete, successful**

"I feel like that was too easy…" Lux said, once they'd exited the North Wing. Caitlyn and Ashe agreed. "Something seems off. Akali, shouldn't you be more happy?" Caitlyn asked the Fist of Shadow, who shrugged.

"Sure."

"What exactly happened there?" Ashe wondered. "When we got there, you weren't bound or anything. In fact…"

She told Akali what they'd seen on Swain's monitor.

The Ionian shrugged again. "She… Well, I guess I was scared and stuff at first. But after a while, we started talking and… Realized that we had a lot in common. Kind of bonded, I guess. Katarina is really different in private, you know."  
"..."

"See, I told you. Brainwashed." Ashe whispered to Caitlyn.

"Where's Riven?" Caitlyn whispered back.

They froze.

"Oops." Ashe said.

**A/N: ****IMPORTANT!**

**Wrote that in pretty much one sitting (2 hours). Brain. Hurts. Agaagawaadawa!**

**Cameo's: Jayce, Vi, Miss Fortune, Sona, and whoever else showed up.**

**Ahri requested by ****ahriiiiiiii! **

**Ahh so guys, I was thinking on whether or not I should get a Beta Reader. Should I? And if any of you are interested, just PM me :)**

**If people seem a bit OOC this chapter, sowwy! And if you're confused about the Akali and Katarina thing, let's just say that they are on friendly acquaintances now. Yeah.**

**Cya next time!**

**XOXO~ Creator0fWords **


	13. Destruction and Piltovians

**Chapter 13: Destruction and Piltovians**

_CRASH! BAM!_

Ashe looked up from her dinner. "What was that?" She asked her friends.

_BEEB BEEB!_

Caitlyn took out her comms unit. "Officer?"

There was a lot of incoherent shouting on the other end. The Sheriff frowned. "Slow down!"

More incoherent noises, and then, "JINX AND VI! HEADING FOR THE INSTITU-"

_SMASH! CRASH!_

"HA! You missed, Fat Hands!"

_BOOM! BANG!_

"GET BACK HERE YOU FUCKING RUNT!"

Caitlyn sighed. "Thanks for the warning, but they're already here." She put the device back into her pocket and stood up. "I'll handle this."

Lux stood up as well. "No way. I'm helping you."

Ashe shrugged. "Jinx and Vi can be quite a handful. I'm coming too."

Riven continued eating, pretending not to hear.

**The lower levels**

"They were definitely here." Ashe remarked as they descended the steps into the lower levels.

"Really? What gave it away?" Caitlyn asked sarcastically. The walls were bashed in, there were scorch marks everywhere, and several lamps were broken.

There was more yelling coming from up ahead, around the corner. "HAHA! TOO SLOW, FAT HANDS!"

More crashing noises ensued.

The Sheriff of Piltover sighed. "Sometimes, I really hate my job." She readied her beloved sniper rifle and leapt around the corner, firing twice in rapid succession.

Instead of bullets, 90 caliber nets shot out, pinning Jinx and Vi respectively against the walls. Different walls.

The Piltover Enforcer struggled futilely. "Cupcake! Let me go! I need to bash her fucking face in!" She complained, her huge gauntlets making movement even more difficult in her restricted space. Jinx kept laughing. Just. Kept. Laughing.

Caitlyn blew a stray strand of hair out of her face. "No, I will not let you out, Vi. We do not need more charges of property damage and assault on your file! Look at what you've done! And Jinx, stop laughing!"

Indeed, the Loose Cannon's laughter was really annoying. The kind of laugh you'd hear from a psychopath whilst she boiled live puppies.

"I can help with that." Ashe offered, firing a crystallized arrow at Jinx. Exploding upon impact, it froze her and rained ice particles over everyone.

Lux swatted them away from her face. "Ahh! Hail!"

**Meanwhile…**

Kennen and Shen were sitting in Shen's room, discussing important things.

"No, Ahri for sure." Kennen was saying. Shen shook his head. "Miss Fortune! I mean, look at them!" He exclaimed, bringing up (the base splash art photo) a picture of the markswoman on his smartphone. The Heart of the Tempest snorted. "Photoshop."

"I don't think so, to be honest…"  
"Fine, what about Sona?"

Shen got a faraway look in his eyes. "Mmmm… No, I still think Miss Fortune has bigger boobs."

"What's this I hear about boobs?" Someone said, and immediately the two ninja's whipped around.

"A-Akali!" Kennen stammered. "So good to see you, sister!"

The Fist of Shadow was not amused. "I asked Irelia where you two were. She told me to not disturb you because you were doing _important_ things."

Shen's face reddened. "I-I- we… How did you even get in my room?!"

"DO NOT CHANGE THE SUBJECT ON ME!"

**The mess hall…**

"Hi, Riven." Irelia said softly, startling the Exile.

"I-Irelia!" Riven turned to the Will of the Blades. "You scared me!"

The Ionian chuckled. "Did I?" She asked innocently.

Riven glared at her. "Can I help you?"

"Right! Come with me."

**The lower levels**

"... And then you ignore my orders! I expected better from you, Vi!" Caitlyn finally finished, after a long (10 minutes, to be exact) lecture to her Enforcer.

Lux had fallen asleep, and Ashe was playing a game of 'Would you Rather?' with Jinx.

"Would you rather… Sleep with Vi, or go on a date with Draven?" Ashe asked. Jinx laughed again.

"The first one! Draven is such a booooore."

"Hahaha! I know right?"

Caitlyn looked over at them. "Ashe, what should we do with these two?"

"Hmm?" The Frost Archer looked over at the Sheriff. "Oh, right. Umm… Let them go? We _are_ on League grounds right now."

"Right you are." Caitlyn replied.

**Later that night, in the North Wing…**

"Why her?!" Leona complained to Irelia.

"Because you lost the bet."

"I SERIOUSLY DID NOT THINK THAT YOU WOULD GET A DATE!"

"That doesn't matter. You lost. Now… FACE THE CONSEQUENCES!"

The Radiant Dawn groaned and turned to the door. Lifting her hand, she rapped twice on it and awaited her imminent doom.

She waited. No one answered.

She waited some more. Still, no one answered.

Riven coughed. "What am I here for, exactly?"

Irelia smiled. "Just wait.

Another 30 seconds passed, and Leona turned to Irelia, a hopeful smile on her face. "She's not here. Can I go now?"

The door opened.

Eyes wide, the Solari turned to face Katarina.

"What do you people want?!" She snarled, reaching for a knife.

"I- Willyougooutwithme?!" Leona choked out.

"..."

"..."

"... Are you fucking kidding me?" Katarina asked softly, anger gone, replaced by disbelief and concern. Yes, concern.

Leona gulped. "I-..."

"It doesn't matter. I'm…" The Noxian glanced back into her room. "... Not single." She whispered.

O_O

**The next day…**

Ezreal put two pop tarts into his toaster and then went to sit on his couch, smiling contentedly as he prepared to check his phone.

**3 minutes later…**

Ezreal was not happy. When he opened his phone, the first thing he saw was that he had over 100 text messages.

Then, when he logged onto Instachat, the first image on Most popular was a picture of him.

Wearing a bra.

The Prodigal Explorer growled. "When I find out who's responsible…" He trailed off once he smelled something burning.

"Shit! My pop tarts!" He exclaimed, jumping up to go save his breakfast.

**A/N: Short chapter, I know. But I don't have much time. I'm leaving for vacation today, and I wanted to get something out before I left. I won't be uploading for about a week, so bye! Hope it doesn't suck! (whipped it up in an hour . )**

**XOXO~ Creator0fWords**


	14. Meetings and Stalkers

**Chapter 14: Meetings and Stalkers**

**The mess hall, breakfast time with Caitlyn, Leona, Vi, Ashe, Akali, and Lux**

"Guys are all idiots." Akali huffed, setting her plate down on the table and interrupting Leona in the midst of a retelling of her punishment last night. Lux looked over at her. "Why?"

"Boobs. That's all they care about. Boobs." The ninja seethed.

Vi shoveled some food into her mouth. "And ass! Don't forget ass!"

Akali nodded. "Yup."

"Where'd this, _sudden revelation_ come from?" Caitlyn asked, tinkering with her sniper rifle.

"I overheard Shen and Kennen talking…" Akali muttered.

Ashe coughed. "You know, that's not _all_ that guys care about. Pantheon mostly thinks about killing. And if it's not killing, it's baking."

The Fist of Shadow scoffed. "That's one guy out of… How many guys are at the League?"

Ashe shrugged. "50?"

"ONE GUY out of 50!"

Caitlyn engaged the safety latch on her rifle. "How did you even overhear them talking?"

The ninja laughed. "The Kinkou have secret passages leading to each others rooms. Or… I have secret passages leading to theirs…"

The Sheriff raised an eyebrow. "Stalker much?"

"N-n-no! I… It's for safety reasons!" Akali stammered.

"And do they know about the passages?"

"Yeeeaaah… No." She relented under the Piltovian's glare.

"What do you have to say for yourself, Akali?" Caitlyn asked, sounding very much like a mother scolding her kid after she caught them stealing from the sacred cookie jar.

"As balance dictates?" Akali mumbled sheepishly.

Leona coughed. "So, can I get on with my story?"

**A few minutes later… **

"Holy shit! Really?" Ashe gasped, looking up from her phone. Leona nodded. "Yeah."

"I'm surprised she didn't stab you." Vi mumbled through a mouthful of hash browns.

Leona laughed. "Me too! But then, she told us that she, well… Wasn't single."

Caitlyn raised an eyebrow. "Did she finally get together with Garen?"  
"HAH!" Lux burst into giggles and snorts. "Hell no! She _hates_ him! And besides, if Katarina had gotten together with my brother, he would _not_ keep it quiet. No matter what she says."

"So if it's not Garen, then who is it?" The Sheriff wondered, idly stirring her spoon in her coffee. She locked eyes with Vi, who smiled and nodded at her.

"Piltover's Finest are on the case!" The Enforcer laughed.

**A couple tables over…**

Katarina glared at everyone in the mess hall… Which was a significantly more amount of people than yesterday.

"Hello, Kat." Someone hissed behind her. The Sinister Blade turned. "Hello, Cass."

Her sister sat down next to her. "Brooding again, I see."

Katarina snorted. "Why are so many Champions back already? Break isn't over for another 6 days!"

Cassiopeia sighed and shook her head. "How could you forget again, sister?"

The Noxian assassin frowned. "Forget what?"

"The Snowdown Ball! It's tomorrow!"

**Meanwhile, in a theater on the 3rd floor… **

Shen closed the door behind him. "All clear. Let the meeting begin."

His (figurative) brother, Kennen, walked onto the stage. He cleared his throat. "So! Welcome back to the Guys And Yordles Of The League Club!"

The assembled men and yordles clapped, the sound echoing around the otherwise empty theater room.

"Because it is still Snowdown Break, we are missing quite a few of our usual numbers. But no matter! The show must go on!"

More claps and cheers.

"The Guys And Yordles Of The League Club," He continued, the acronym_**G.A.Y. O.T.C**_popping up on the screen behind him, "Is the place where the men and yordles of the League can put aside their differences and disputes for two hours each week to have fun, enjoy each others company, play games, and do other fun things! So today, I would like to welcome our newest member. Veigar, please stand up." Kennen said, looking for the yordle. He frowned.

"I said, Veigar, please stand up!"

The Tiny Master of Evil stomped his feet. "I DID!"

'_Tiny' _Master of Evil indeed. Standing or sitting had no impact on his height, which Kennen had forgotten about.

"Oh… Right. Erm…"

*Awkward silence*

Shen decided to save his fellow Kinkou. "So, what about the presentations from last week?"

The Heart of the Tempest perked up again. "Right! So, last week, everyone was asked to pair up with a partner and create a presentation on which female League champion you think has the best boobs. So who's up first?"

Xin Zhao and Jarvan IV went first.

"So…" Jarvan cleared his throat and pressed a button on his remote. The projector flared to life.

"My partner was Xin Zhao, and we picked…" He pressed another button. A picture of Sona came up on the screen.

**20 minutes later…**

Shen and Kennen stood up. The Eye of Twilight took the remote from Jayce and Heimerdinger, who'd just gone (Another Ahri one), and put his own presentation on.

"Kennen and I chose-" The image popped up on the screen and immediately everybody burst into raucous laughter.

"-Ezreal…" Shen finished.

The now infamous picture of Ezreal in a bra was on the screen, photoshopped to make his chest look bigger.

Jayce stopped laughing and managed to gasp out, "But Ezreal isn't a girl!"

Kennen frowned. "Only girls wear bra's."

Shen added on. "And Ezreal isn't in the _Guys_ And Yordles Of The League Club either!"

"Neither is Gragas…" Pantheon pointed out. "And Gragas is most certainly a guy. I've never seen a girl burp like that!"

Garen nodded sagely. "Gragas is very manly indeed. Of course, he'd be better if he were a Demacian…"

Jayce looked to Pantheon. "Have you ever gone drinking with Vi?"

"Can't say I have."

"She challenged Gragas to a burping contest once… And won."

Pantheon looked impressed. "Wow! I always knew that Vi was secretly a man!"

Veigar looked uncomfortable. "So… Can I sit down yet?"

**Meanwhile…**

"Ugh! I. Have. Nothing. To. WEAR!" Irelia complained, throwing yet another outfit out of her closet. The dress landed on top of Riven, who was sitting on the floor meditating. Slightly annoyed, the Exile removed the article of clothing from her head. "What do you mean? You just threw a dress at me."

The Ionian glanced back. "Oh, sorry. No, I meant that I have nothing to wear to the Ball tomorrow!"

Riven stretched and stood up. "The Ball is tomorrow?"

"Yes!"

"I thought that the Summoners gave us outfits to wear…"

"Only some Champions."

"Oh, ok." The Exile walked over to the closet. "How about this one?"

Irelia looked over the ensemble. "... The Frostblade one? It _could_ work…"

**The West Wing, Caitlyn's room…**

"Alright, Vi. Let's get cracking." Caitlyn said, pulling out the champion roster on her computer. Vi propped her feet up on the couch. "'Kay."

She typed out, '_Case #1269: Katarina's boyfriend'_

Vi eyed the screen. "How do you know she's not a poof?"

"Hmm… Good point." Caitlyn mused, retyping it to '_Case #1269: Katarina's girl/boyfriend'_

The Sheriff uncapped a bottle of water and took a gulp. "So we know that it's not Garen…" She deleted the Demacian's name. "We know that it's not Cassiopeia… I hope."

Vi nodded. "It's definitely not. They don't have that vibe."

Cassiopeia's name was erased.

**An hour later…**

Cho'Gath, Kog'Maw, Vel'Koz, Aatrox, Alistar, Anivia, Annie (they had argued about this one for a bit), Azir, Brand, Fiddlesticks, Mundo, Draven, and many others had been taken off the list of potential candidates.

"I still say that it's Talon." Vi mumbled through a mouthful of pizza. Caitlyn sighed and checked the time. 12:23am.

"Maybe it's Jarvan IV?" She wondered. The Piltover Enforcer scoffed. "He's a Demacian! She hates Demacian's!"

"Which would make it all the more scandalous!" Caitlyn countered.

_KNOCK! KNOCK!_

They looked at each other. Then at the door. Then at each other.

Vi got up and opened it. "Hey, Ashe. What's up?"

The Frost Archer fidgeted nervously. "I… Uh… I was curious how you were coming along with the investigation on Katarina's situation…"

Caitlyn raised an eyebrow at her strange behaviour. "We're hitting a solid block." She sighed, leaning back into the couch. "There are just too many options!"

Lux poked her head through the doorway. "What if it's someone outside the League?" She chirped, walking in with Ashe.

'_Those two are inseparable...'_ Caitlyn thought, discreetly erasing Lux and Ashe's names off the screen. If anything, _those_ two were dating.

Vi walked back over to the couch and glanced at the screen, noting the changes while stuffing the rest of her lunch into her black ho- I mean, mouth.

"If it's someone outside the League, then I guess I probably wouldn't care as much." Caitlyn admitted truthfully. "Gossip is only relevant if you know the people."

Lux closed the door and plopped down onto the couch. "I can tell you for sure it's not Jarvan IV or Shyvana… Those two are together." She said, folding her hands on her lap like a proper Demacian lady.

Vi shot an '_I TOLD YOU SO!' _look at Caitlyn, complete with a smirk. The Sheriff chose to ignore it.

Ashe walked over. "It's not Sejuani."

The Sheriff raised an eyebrow. "How do you know that?"

"Just… Trust me on this one…"

"Fine, fine." Caitlyn erased the name.

The Lady of Luminosity idly twiddled her thumbs. "Who do you think are the most likely candidates?"

Immediately, Vi spoke up. "Talon. Darius. Fiora."

"Why Fiora?" Ashe wondered.

"Cuz they're both the best blade masters in their city-states."

"I see… I see…"

_KNOCK! KNOCK!_

"UGH! Not again! Who could that _possibly_ be?!" Caitlyn groaned. "I just want to infiltrate someone's privacy in PEACE!"

Ashe got up and opened the door. And then almost slammed it shut.

"Hey, Sheriff! Thanks for letting me borrow these!" Katarina smirked, tossing the fuzzy cuffs at Caitlyn.

Vi raised her eyebrows. And then she got an idea.

As Katarina turned to go, she got up and crossed the room in a few quick strides, grabbing the Noxian assassin by the collar and tossing her back into the room.

"HEY! WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT FOR?!" Katarina yelled, enraged and a bit sore where she landed on her ass.

The Enforcer stomped over to her. "WHO IS IT, HUH? DARIUS?! TALON?! FIORA?! RIVEN?! GAREN?!" She yelled into Katarina's face. The Noxian scooted back a few inches. "What are you talking about?!"

Caitlyn facepalmed. Trust her Enforcer to always be straight up and direct. _'To the point',_ as Katarina would say.

"The identity of your girlfriend!" Vi exclaimed, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, at the same time that Caitlyn said, "Who your boyfriend is."

Katarina frowned. "What the fuck?"

Lux and Ashe exchanged looks and then slowly shuffled out of the room.

Behind them, they could hear Vi calling out random names to Katarina, who denied everything and yelled, "Why the FUCK do you care?!" Every two names.

**The theater on the 3rd floor…**

"I remember when I first killed a man…" Pantheon recalled wistfully to Gangplank. The pirate grunted. "Me too."

"Who was your first kill?" The Rakkor warrior asked.

"My father." Gangplank replied, smiling darkly at the memory.

Pantheon merely raised an eyebrow.

Across the room, various champions were gossiping.

"I heard that Riven and Irelia are a thing now." Xin Zhao said, polishing his spear.

"Oh. My. Gosh. Really?" Shen exclaimed. "I always would have thought that Riven and Yasuo would make a great couple!"

"I can hear you, y'know." Yasuo said, glaring at Shen.

The ninja shrugged. "I ship it." He replied evenly.

Rumble laughed. "So do I! You know who else I ship?"

Everyone shook their heads.

"Oh c'mon! There are only three female yordles! Tristana and Lulu all the way!" He exclaimed.

Veigar bristled at that. Heimerdinger noticed.

"I know Veigar doesn't ship that!" The inventor teased. "He wants Lulu for himself!"

"Ahh, I forgot about that!" Rumble poked Veigar. "What color are her panties?"

"Purp- wait what?!" Veigar jumped back and glared at Rumble as everyone else laughed. "What kind of a question is that?!"

"Oh, come on, Veigar." Kennen joined in. "Everyone knows that you stalk Lulu. Except for Lulu herself. She's totally oblivious."

"Well of course she is…" Veigar mumbled to himself, low enough to not be heard. To the other yordles, he said, "Well how do _you_ guys know?"

"That telescope in your room doesn't point to the sky, Veigar." Heimerdinger replied.

**Later that day, at the mess hall…**

2 hours. 2 hours, and she was _still_ asking her.

"Jayce? Ezreal? Zed?" Vi listed, sitting down next to Katarina in the mess hall. The Noxian glared at her. "You've already asked that!"

"And you could've been lying!"

"How do you know that I won't _keep on lying?!_"

Vi shrugged. "You'll slip up eventually."

Katarina rolled her eyes. If Caitlyn hadn't taken all of her weapons already (including the one in her bra), and was keeping a very close eye on her with her sniper rifle, Vi would be in the infirmary already. Or dead in a dumpster.

"Good luck with that." She said, biting into a slice of bread.

**10 minutes later…**

"Yasuo? Irelia? Akali? *gasp* It's Akali, isn't it!" Vi exclaimed. She was caught up on what had happened at the restaurant, thanks to a very chatty Lux.

Katarina stabbed the table with her fork. "For fucks sake, will you SHUT THE HELL UP ALREADY?!"

"No. At least give me a hint." Vi responded.

The Sinister Blade was aware that the various other champions in the room were listening to their conversation.

"All right, if I give you a hint, will you leave me alone?" She asked softly, venom lacing her words. The Enforcer seemed oblivious. "Yes."

Leona poked Akali in the ribs. "It_ is_ you, isn't it?"

"... What?!"

"Well come on, that scene at the restaurant was enough proo-"

"IT'S NOT AN IONIAN!" Katarina shrieked, cutting off Leona.

Shyvana raised an eyebrow. "Is Garen Ionian?"

Jarvan hit her. "Babe, Garen is definitely Demacian… Wait how do you not know that?"

"I was hoping he wasn't…"

Irelia breathed a sigh of relief. '_Thank the sacred tree that no Ionian has yet stooped to the level of a Noxian yet!'_

She glanced over at Riven and amended her thought. '_Thank the sacred tree that no Ionian has yet stooped to the level of dating a… Non-exiled Noxian…?' _

And Akali… Akali jumped onto the table and started dancing. "SEE?! I TOLD YOU GUYS THAT I WASN'T DATING KATARINA! I TOLD YOU!"

Leona pulled a bottle of whiskey out of her armour. "I lost another bet… Another one…"

She chugged the alcohol and passed out.

**A/N: Heyy! So I'm back from my vacation, which was awesome. And then I got home and immediately started working on this chapter, but I had too many ideas floating around my head and It took awhile to finish it . I even have an alternate ending to the chapter, where Katarina reveals her… Boy/girlfriend. **

**Cameo: Vi, requested by angels123. I should have said that about 2 chapters ago xD**

**SO! I HAVE A NEW STORY OUT! It's called Roommates, co-written by my friend lostsoulmemories aka EdgeoftheHorizon! If you haven't already, check it out! The style is a bit different from Snowdown Chaos, but any reviews are appreciated.**

**As always, I welcome criticism because it helps me to write better. Reviews make my day, because it lets me know that people are taking the time to write something about my story :)**

**Cya at the Snowdown Ball!**

**XOXO~ Creator0fWords**


	15. Ionians and Kitchens

**Chapter 15: Ionians and Kitchens **

"Kayle!" Lux exclaimed excitedly as the angel walked into the Institute.

The Judicator blinked. "Hey, Lux. What's up?"

Lux giggled. "The Ball is tomorrow! The Ball is tomorrow! The Ball is tomorrow!" She squealed, jumping up and down.

"... And?" Kayle was confused. Everyone knew the ball was tomorrow, what was the big deal?

"YOU'RE HERE FOR IT! YAAAAAY!"

"... Great?"

"It IS great! Now I have more people for my pre-Ball tea party!"

"Pre-Ball… _Tea party?_"

"Yup! Señor Banana Chicken is hosting it!"

The Demacian had succeeded in confusing the angel, who tentatively said, "I'm afraid to ask this, but… Who is Señor Banana Chicken?"

Lux pulled out her baton and summoned a chicken stuffie the size of Riven's complete sword. It had two big stuffed bananas instead of wings.

"..."

Kayle was pretty sure that the Demacian light mage was at least 20% crazy… And another 80% strange.

**The East Wing…**

Irelia flew around her room, chucking things left and right and then chucking the things she'd just chucked _again_.

And on it repeated.

"Where. Is. IT?!" The Ionian hissed, throwing her pillows onto her bookcase. She ripped the books off the shelf, tossing them into her closet, and then went into the closet and tossed the clothes out.

"WHERE IS IT?!" She roared, her father's blade splitting into 4 smaller parts and launching themselves into the wall. Pillows smashed the mirror, shards raining onto the floor.

Someone cleared her throat. "Looking for… _These?"_ Riven asked dramatically, holding up a box of Irelia's limited edition, peach and lotus flavored candy canes (Available during Snowdown only!).

The Ionian's eyes widened as they locked onto the box. "_My precioussssssss!"_ She hissed, slowly stalking towards it, looking very much like a crazed animal. Her eyes narrowed as Riven backed away. "Easy there, easy there!" The Exile pleaded.

In response, Irelia hissed and leapt at the box. Riven's eyes widened and she quickly stepped away from her crazed girlfriend.

(And that kids, is why you _never_ want to keep an Ionian away from her sweets. _NEVER._)

"Irelia! Calm down!"

The Will of the Blades glared. "YOU. HAVE. MY. PRECIOUSSSSSS!"

"Look at you! You're like a crack addict! You need to cut down on-"

Riven never got to finish her sentence.

Poor thing never stood a chance.

**Meanwhile…**

"They expect me to wear _this _AGAIN_?!_" Katarina hissed, glaring disdainfully at the opened package on her unmade bed.

A red dress lined with fur sat within, along with a headband sporting golden antlers on top.

"Well, you won't be the only one wearing your Snowdown gear." Cassiopeia responded, eyeing the dress. In her eyes, it was actually kind of stylish. "And besides, the antlers are new."

"The color doesn't even go with my hair!" Katarina complained. Last year, her hair had been dyed orange for a mission in Shurima, so the dress had at least matched… Somewhat.

Cassiopeia picked up a bottle from the package. She smiled.

"Oh, sisssssssster!" She exclaimed gleefully.

Katarina knew that it wasn't good news the second that her sister started stressing the '_S_'.

"Time for a_ makeover_!"

Nope. Not good news.

The Noxian assassin would much rather have stuffed 10 of Satan- I mean, Teemo's, mushrooms into her mouth. Then washed it down with Singed's '_special brew'_.

Well, what is the special brew, you might ask? Well, I'll give you a hint: the main ingredient in it is poison.

**The mess hall…**

Leona woke with a pounding headache. She groaned.

"Really, Leona? Passed out drunk? I expected better from you!" Someone said in an amused tone.

Leona grunted and opened her eyes a bit. "Kaylie?"

The Judicator nudged her friend with her foot. "Hi."

"ISN'T THIS GREAT?! KAYLE IS BACK JUST IN TIME FOR THE BALL!" Lux chirped, twirling around and smiling as if the world had just crowned her Snowdown Queen (Snowdown Queen = Prom Queen).

The Radiant Dawn groaned. "Can you keep it down please, Blondie? My head is dying."

Lux looked confused. "If your head is dying, shouldn't _you_ be dying?"

Kayle facepalmed. "Lux… It's an expression."

Leona groaned again. "Not anymore! I think it may become reality soon!"

Just then, a certain someone strutted past the group. The certain someone made eye contact with Kayle and smirked. Kayle looked the certain someone in the eye and glared.

"Sister." They said simultaneously, and Morgana started laughing.

"I found the cause of _my_ head pains." The Judicator growled.

"Come now, Kayle." Morgana drawled. "There's no need to be so hostile; after all, it _is_ the day before the Snowdown Ball!"

"Then what are _you_ doing here? Shouldn't you be in Noxus, operating your _food cart?_" Kayle spat.

Morgana spun around and walked towards the kitchen. "Nope! The League has asked _me_ to prepare the desserts for the Ball!"

Kayle scoffed. "There is no way in _HELL_ that I'm going to eat your shit!"

"Dear sister, I am not asking you to 'eat my shit'. Even_ my_ shit deserves better than that." The Fallen Angel deadpanned. Back still turned, she snapped her fingers in the air, struck a pose, and sauntered through the still-broken door.

Leona whistled. "Bang bang-"

Lux smirked, continuing her friends sentence. "Shots fired!"

Kayle glared at them.

**The back gardens…**

Shen tapped his foot impatiently. Akali paced. Kennen was the only one sitting still (surprisingly) out of the Kinkou. Ahri was nestled on her tails under a nearby oak tree, while Karma sat next to her, meditating. Master Yi was practicing his sword work nearby, and several times nearly cut the head off of the hedge resembling High Councilor Vessaria Kolminye.

Even Yasuo was present, his past grievances temporarily forgotten in light of the importance of the meeting.

Shen sighed. "Where is Irelia? She's never late to meetings!"

He was starting to get a bit worried. The number of returning champions, coupled with the lack of summoners, could be dangerous…

Just then, the bushes rustled, and out stepped the Will of the Blades.

"Sorry I'm late!" She panted, brushing leaves off of her jacket. "I had to uh… Defend my Precious."

Akali gasped. "Nonono! It's quite alright, Irelia! That is perfectly acceptable! Is your Precious ok?!"

Irelia nodded. "She is now." The Ionian popped one of the candy canes into her mouth (of course, candy canes just don't fit unless they're the tiny ones, which this isn't. So she had half of it sticking out, looking very much like she was smoking a candy cane. Speaking of which, I wonder if they have candy-cane flavored ci- ok, I'll get back to the story now).

Shen nodded. "Understood, Irelia. It's ok." He turned back to the crowd of Ionians. "Alright! So, I've caught word that Morgana will be baking this year for the Snowdown Ball."

Ahri lifted her head up. "Mmmm, her cupcakes are delicious~" The Nine-Tailed Fox purred.

Karma opened an eye. "Operation E19?"

Shen nodded. "Yes."

Yasuo cleared his throat. "So, uh, I'm kind of new to this… What is Operation E19?"

The Eye of Twilight had forgotten that this was the Unforgiven's first time on the Ionian Power Squad (or so they called themselves).

"Akali, would you like to explain?" He asked his fellow Kinkou. The Fist of Shadow nodded.

"So, basically, Operation E19 is where we infiltrate somewhere and steal something."

"... That sounds easy." Yasuo said slowly. "Let me guess, we're infiltrating the… Kitchen?"

Akali nodded.

Yasuo continued. "And stealing the… Cupcakes?"

Ahri growled. "We'd better be."

Master Yi nodded assent. "Seconded. The cupcakes are _amazing_!"

Everyone else agreed, and Shen nodded once again.

"Alright, it's agreed we're going for the-"

The bushes rustled.

The Ionians froze.

"Meet back here in an hour!" Shen hissed, and everyone cleared out. 

Ashe glanced curiously at the still-moving leaves and the indented grass. Someone, or a lot of someones, had been here recently.

She shrugged it off. There were a lot of champions back. She would _not_ let paranoia spoil her well-deserved walk.

The Frost Archer continued on, sore legs aching, but enjoying the breeze and fresh air too much to stop.

**Meanwhile…**

"Viiiiiiiiiii!" Caitlyn yelled. Her partner, who'd been napping, fell off the couch.

"Wha- WHO WHAT WHERE- JINX?!" Vi yelled, jumping up and swinging her bare fists in the air.

She blinked her eyes open. "Huh? Caitlyn? Oh shit, must've fallen asleep…" The Enforcer mumbled. She rubbed her eyes. "Well, there are no problems, right? I don't need to hit anything, right?"

Caitlyn tossed her hair over her shoulder. "No, you don't need to hit anything. As for problems… Help me pick out something to wear for tomorrow!"

Vi blinked. "I do need to hit something, then. _MYSELF._"

The Sheriff tutted. "Don't be like that, Vi. Now, should I wear _this one?_" She held up a white silk gown with a transparent hemline, which was decorated with snowflakes.

"Or should I wear _this one?"_ Caitlyn brandished a dark blue, backless one shoulder dress.

Vi eyed the nearest wall… Which was 10 feet away.

She swore instead.

**The (sacred) kitchen…**

Morgana repaired the broken door with magic (although the glass was now tinted purple) and surveyed her new work area.

It was a pretty nice kitchen, complete with an enormous fridge, loads of baking and cooking supplies, and state-of-the-art tools and machines.

The Fallen Angel pulled out the letter that she had received from the Summoners.

_To Morgana, _

_We require your services for this Snowdown Ball. The magical baking units at the Institute have broken down a few weeks ago and are under repair. They will require 1 month to fix. _

_For the Ball, we ask you to bake the desserts and snacks for the champions._

_The job is optional, however if you do accept, as a reward, you will receive a slight buff on the Rift. _

_If you choose to accept, there are a few things you should know. _

_The Ionians are __**not**_to _enter the kitchen._

_The oven is behind a wall panel; there is a button under the toaster to flip the panel. _

_In case the Ionians do get in, we recommend that you place some of the goods you bake into a secret compartment revealed by a button underneath the ketchup bottle in the fridge. This is so that you will at least have something for the Ball. _

_We recommend hiring someone to help guard the kitchen; it is inevitable that the Ionians will try __**something**__. _

_Good luck, and thank you._

Morgana put the letter away. Were the Ionians really that bad…? The Summoners seemed _really_ worried about them.

'_Eh, the old windbags aren't completely daft. Maybe I should take their advice. Hire someone, hmm? Who could I possibly ask…' _

She thought for a bit and then perked up.

The Fallen Angel knew just the person to ask.

**The back gardens…**

The Ionian Power Squad was once again gathered in the back gardens.

"Ok, so, I think that we should go for stealth this time." Master Yi said. "We can have the… For lack of a better word, _stealthy_ people go in, while the rest of us act as backup or distraction."

Karma nodded. "Sounds good. So, who's doing what?"

(HMM, I WONDER ;D)

**The next morning…**

_**(This next little part may not make sense unless you know the following statement [copy and pasted directly from the Wiki… Lol.]**_

_**According to a Reddit AMA, Jinx wants to hug Ziggs. Ziggs, however, is quite terrified of Jinx.) **_

Jinx was having a lovely conversation over breakfast with Fishbones and Pow-Pow.

"So I ran to him screaming, 'LET ME LOVE YOU!'" The Loose Canon was saying. "But then he screamed like a pterodactyl and hopped away on his bomb. Totally hurt my feelings!"

Fishbones was not happy. "Are you cheating on me?" He/Totally not Jinx said.

"Well…"

Pow-Pow/Totally not Jinx cut in. "Of course not! She loves us more than Ziggs… Right?"

"Ahh… Errr… Of course…!" Jinx said.

Just then, Morgana walked past her table.

"Hi Evil Winged Lady!" Jinx exclaimed, waving.

Wisely, the Fallen Angel chose to ignore her.

"Hi, Mr Panty Man!" Jinx exclaimed, waving to Pantheon.

He glared. "What did you just call me?"

The Loose Canon giggled. "Mr Panty Man, cuz when you drop from the sky, we can all see those polka dotted-"

*BONG!*

Pantheon slung his shield over his back and walked after Morgana.

Poor Jinx…

**The kitchen (Air ducts)…**

**Operatives:  
Infiltrator Irelia**

**Silverfang Akali**

**Foxfire Ahri**

**Arctic Ops Kennen **

"Ow! Irelia, get off my arm!"

"Akali, you're sitting on my tails…"

"Irelia, I said get off my arm!"

"It's not me!"

"Ahri, get your boobs outta my face please!"

The 4 operatives struggled to get comfortable above the opening into the kitchen. The delicious, tantalizing aroma of baking cupcakes wafted up to their noses.

Finally, they settled down to watch Morgana and Pantheon bake. Already, there was a big cart stacked high with finished cupcakes and tarts.

Irelia clicked on her comms unit. "Targets in sight. Pantheon appears to be assisting Morgana, he could be a potential issue."

Shen answered. "Ok, we will create a distraction. Wait for it, and observe their actions."

And so they observed.

"Pass the sugar!" The Fallen Angel called. A sack of sugar flew across the room.

"*Oomph*! NOT LIKE THAT!"

"Sorry!"

They waited patiently for the distraction from outside…

Well, one _did_ come, just not what they expected.

"Yo, what happened to Jinx?" Vi's voice could be heard.

"Umm, should we bring her to the Infirmary?" Caitlyn responded.

"... I ain't carrying that."

"Neither am I!"

Two knocks came at the kitchen door.

Pantheon went to open it, dressed in an apron and covered in flour.

"Oh, hey… Pantheon. Can we get some help here?"

*muffled voices*

*sound of door shutting*

Morgana sighed. "Now I have to do this alone for a bit. Ugh."

Akali signaled excitedly to Irelia. "_Pantheon's gone!"_ She whispered.

Irelia nodded and relayed the information to Shen.

Ahri's tails twitched excitedly. "I can taste those cupcakes already…" She smiled.

Just then, a loud crash sounded from the mess hall.

Morgana looked up from the mixing bowl. "What could that possibly be?" She muttered to herself.

Yasuo crashed through the newly repaired door. Quickly, he rolled onto his back and started backing away on his elbows.

Karma menacingly stepped through the remains of the door, hands raised to cast another spell.

Quick as a flash, Morgana had cast 2 dark bindings. Both frozen, Karma and Yasuo moved their eyes to watch Morgana.

She looked pissed.

"What the FUCK are you doing in my kitchen?!"

Off the Fields of Justice, her bindings were much more powerful. Neither Ionian could move, which she quickly realized.

The Fallen Angel removed the bindings over their mouths.

"She's trying to kill me!" Yasuo yelled.

"After all you did to Ionia, you had the gall to attend the Ionian meeting!"  
"I THOUGHT IT WAS THE BATHROOM!" Yasuo pleaded.  
"OH, NOW YOU'RE COMPARING OUR MEETING TO A_ WASHROOM_?!" Karma screamed at him.  
Morgana had had enough. "THAT'S ENOUGH!" She yelled. "IF YOU'RE GONNA FIGHT, DO IT OUTSIDE!"

And then she 'escorted' the Ionians out of her kitchen.

Kennen quickly opened the hatch and dropped down, followed by Irelia and Akali.

Using her blades as a sort of makeshift dumbwaiter, Irelia shuttled the cupcakes up to Ahri, who placed them onto trays before sliding them into a box sitting next to her.

Akali kept watch, and Kennen helped Irelia steal the cupcakes.

"Guys! Get out, now!" The Fist of Shadow hissed when she saw Morgana returning to the kitchen. Immediately, her fellow operatives jumped up towards the air vent. Ahri caught them with her tails and pulled them int.

Akali went to follow, and then found that she couldn't move.

Eyes blazing, Morgana walked in.

"The Summoners warned me that you would try something like this." She hissed. "I didn't think you were that stupid, Akali. Did you really think you could get away with it?"

The Ionian gulped. "Maybe?"

Morgana laughed, the sound evil and threatening. "Well, you-"  
She was cut off by Master Yi running in and hitting her squarely on the bottom with his sword.

"EYYYYYY!"

The binding on Akali broke, and she went to escape again, only for Pantheon to suddenly tackle her to the ground.

Shen ran in to help his fellow ninja, as Yasuo helped Yi distract Morgana. Ahri jumped down and charmed Pantheon, the Rakkor getting off of Akali and walking towards her instead.

Shen rammed into Morgana once he saw that Akali was safe, knocking the Fallen Angel onto the fridge.

When her world stopped spinning, she saw Pantheon pinned to the wall by various kitchen knives of varying sizes, and Akali standing over her.

All the other Ionians were nowhere to be seen.

The Fist of Shadow smirked, biting into a cupcake. "As balance dictates."

She vanished in a puff of smoke.

**A/N: **_**IMPORTANT UPDATE INFORMATION ON ROOMMATES**_**!**

**Holy crap, that took a long time to write, omg! My head is spinning right now. **

**Sorry if there are any grammar mistakes, I wanted to get this out to you guys really quick.**

**I'd actually totally forgotten about my Ionian and sweets joke that I'd created in chapter 1, and so IT HAZ RETURNEDZ! (about 14 chapters later)**

**Hope it was satisfactory, and as always, criticism and reviews are appreciated greatly!**

**I know I said (i think i did) that the ball would be this chapter, but then i got the idea for the Ionian heist and so… VIOLA**

**Also, about the Riven and Irelia shipping? Yeah, that was actually never supposed to happen. I'd never planned that, originally. I actually didn't even realize it until this chapter XD **

**The way it happened was that, well, the Riven being a guy thing was totally separate. And then I added in Irelia because of a cameo request, and then it just so happened that that chapter was the one where Leona was making bets with the cameo about dates and stuff.**

**And because you know, I had 'Riley' as a character already, I thought it would be pretty funny to put them together. But then, at the end of the 11'th chapter, I thought: well, wouldn't it be so awkward if Riven and Irelia actually had some history? **

**So that went in. **

**And thus, Rivelia has become present in Snowdown Chaos XD**

**(also as an aside, you should know that I have done 0 planning for this story. Every chapter is spur of the moment.) **

**So… I think that's all. WAIT.**

**FOR THOSE PEOPLE WHO ALSO READ MY OTHER STORY, ROOMMATES, I HAVE NEWS.**

**Uhh, well, it's not exactly discontinued. Updates on that story will not happen NEARLY as often as Snowdown, because well, I have a co-writer for that one. We pretty much are stuck on the last scene, because we wanted to write it together, which is hard because of conflicting schedules and conflicting ideas and well… You get the idea. **

**So, we are almost done chapter 2, it should be up… Soon…**

**Stay tuned on that.**

**But anyways, sorry for the long Author's Notes, and see you at the Snowdown Ball! (FOR REAL THIS TIME)  
XOXO~ Creator0fWords**


	16. Balls and Couples

**Hey guys, sorry for the wait on the chapter! Much longer than usual, I know. As compensation, have this much longer than usual chapter! Forgive me~ Please**

**Chapter 16: Balls and Couples**

Morgana coughed as the smoke subsided. She opened her eyes to see Pantheon struggling to get down from the wall.

The Fallen Angel cursed and stood up, rubbing her butt where Master Yi had swatted her.

"Fucking rape…" She muttered to herself, walking over to get Pantheon down. The Rakkor warrior was not happy.

"We just lost all of our cupcakes!" He sighed. "Stupid Ionians!"

Morgana eyed the fridge. "Not _all_ of them. There's one left on the cart." She pointed to the cart, where a lone red velvet cupcake sat, turned on it's side. "Aaaand…"

Smiling, the Fallen Angel opened the fridge and lifted the ketchup bottle. Next, she pushed the red button underneath.

A wall panel next to Pantheon slid open to reveal…

"OH MY… HOLY… FUCKING…!" The Artisan of War gaped.

**Meanwhile… **

Katarina was sitting on her couch, a mirror in one hand and a knife in the other, uncertainly glancing in the mirror and cursing at 50 miles per hour.

*POOF!*

The assassin coughed as the smoke cleared to reveal a certain Kinkou ninja.

Akali opened her eyes and looked around, muttering, "Damn, I really need to work on my teleportation skills…"

Then she noticed where she was.

Slowly, The Fist of Shadow turned her head to look at the other occupant in the room.

"..."

"Err… Hi, Katarina…!" Akali greeted nervously. Even if they were on good terms now, Akali wasn't sure if Katarina would appreciate her randomly teleporting into her room.

"... Hi, Akali." The Sinister Blade replied. "What the fuck are you doing here?"

"Ah… Er…" Akali hid her cupcake behind her back. "I was practicing my teleportation skills…!"

"In that outfit? Do you really need to wear a silver wig and contacts when you're practicing teleportation?" Katarina pointed out skeptically.

"Well, do you need to wear a blonde wig when you're… Doing whatever you were doing?" Akali countered.

Wrong thing to say.

The Sinister Blade's emerald eyes sharpened to flint and she stood up.

"It's not a wig." She hissed.

O-O

"Ahhh… Err… Nice hairdo!" The Ionian smiled, hoping that she would live to gorge herself on the cupcakes she'd just helped to steal.

"Speak. Nothing. Of. It." Katarina growled. "And I will not question you further."

"DONE!" Akali squeaked, making a beeline for the foor.

"Oh, and, Akali?"

Gripping one of her kama's, the Ionian prepared to fling it at the Noxian assassin. "Yeah?"

"Give me that cupcake."

Akali turned slowly, her Ionian instincts to protect her Precious kicking in.

She did _not_ just say that…

**The East Wing…**

Riven woke up bound and gagged in her girlfriends closet. Light streamed in from under the door, and she judged it to be late morning.

'_Wait, that can't be right. Irelia and I… Fought at like… Lunchtime!'_

Unless…

'_Oh no… Was I knocked out for an ENTIRE DAY?!'_

Just then, she heard the sound of the door opening. Muffled voices could be faintly heard.

'_More than one person.'_ Riven decided. Which meant that Irelia had company.

What sounded like something heavy being dragged into the room had Riven straining to see through the small space under the door. The Exile pressed her ear against the wood and could vaguely make out some pieces of conversation.

"... About Akali? She was with us, wasn't she?" Someone that sounded like Irelia said.

"She was last out." A male voice answered.

"You don't think Morgana caught her, do you?" A different voice speculated.

Riven was seriously confused now. '_Who are these people and what were they doing?'_

It sounded like they were doing something bad.

"No, I don't think so." The male voice answered.

"We need to put these somewhere." Another male voice said.

'_Is that… Yasuo?'_

"Put 'em in the closet." Yup, that was Irelia.

Wait… But _RIVEN _was in the closet…

'_OH SHIT!'_

Struggling to right herself, Riven managed it for about 3 seconds before falling onto the closet door.

Fortunately (Or unfortunately) the door opened at the exact same moment, and The Exile ended up tumbling out of the closet, landing on her stomach looking up at the Ionians as she blinked rapidly to adjust to the bright light.

She felt like she'd just walked in on a drug deal.

Boxes were stacked just about everywhere. Ahri, Karma, Yasuo, Shen, Kennen, Master Yi, and Irelia were standing in the middle of the room, dressed up and looking in disbelief at Riven.

"Oh, shit. I'd forgotten all about her…" Irelia mumbled, cheeks turning red in shame.

Ahri giggled. "Wow, Irelia. I didn't think you were _that_ kind of person~" The fox giggled and winked.

Riven stared at her and tried to protest, but the gag was preventing her from doing so.

Fortunately, Irelia wasn't gagged.

"Ok… I am _not_ that kind of person, Ahri. I told you before, I was defending my Precious!" The Will of the Blades said. Ahri frowned.

"Your Precious… You mean, your virginity?"

The guys looked away.

Irelia gaped. "Wha- no! I meant my candy canes! The limited edition, peach and lotus ones!"

"So… _Are_ you a virgin?"

"I- no… I mean…" She glanced at Riven. "Yes… I mean… STOP ASKING ME THAT!"

Ahri sniffed. "I only asked you once."

Riven squirmed. "Mmmph mm mmm?!"

Karma leaned down. "What was that, Riven?"

"MMMPH MM MMM?!"

Master Yi turned back around. "Maybe we should ungag her."

"Good idea." Karma agreed.

"Wait! Not-" Irelia tried to protest, but she was too late.

The gag went off.

Riven blinked. "Thank you." She said to Karma.

She glared at Irelia. "Being trapped in your closet for a _day_ was NOT on my bucket list."

Irelia shifted nervously. "I… I'm sorry, Riven…"

"And waking up in the middle of a… Whatever this is, a drug deal?! This is _not_ okay, Irelia! Not to mention whatever weird-ass conversation you just had with Ahri."

Riven then shifted her piercing amber gaze to the fox. "I did _not_ try to rape my girlfriend, and I'm sure she's a virgin."

Irelia shuffled nervously.

**The West Wing…**

"CUPCAKE! I THINK I HAVE IT!" Vi yelled.

Caitlyn rushed out of the bathroom wearing nothing but a fluffy pink towel. "WHAT?!"

"..."

"Um, Vi, why are you looking at me like that?"

Vi looked away. "Put some clothes on, please…"

Caitlyn smirked and struck a pose (well, as best a pose as she could do without the towel falling right off). "Why, like what you see?" The Sheriff wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.

"... Sure. That, and because you're wearing _my_ towel. Plus the window is open and we're on the ground level."

Caitlyn looked down and then at the window. "... Oops! Be right back!"

She rushed into their shared bathroom. Barely 30 seconds later, the Sheriff ran out in a fluffy _blue_ towel and closed the window curtains.

(Let me be clear here, because I have said nothing of this sort yet. Caitlyn and Vi have adjoining rooms and a shared bathroom, mmk? Because why not. Makes it easier for them to do work, Piltover's Finest and all.)

Vi nodded. "Ok, come here."

Caitlyn sat next to her on the couch.

The coffee table was covered in papers with pictures of various champions of the League, as well as crumpled up notes and Caitlyn's laptop.

Caitlyn raised an eyebrow. "_You_… Actually did _work_?!" The Sheriff was astounded.

Vi snorted. "I _do_ work… When it interests me."  
"Such as trying to invade other people's private lives?"  
"Exactly."

Caitlyn smiled. "Alright, what did you get?"

The Piltover Enforcer picked out a couple of papers and clicked on a tab on the laptop.

"Ok, look. Here is the complete champion roster, and here is the one where I crossed out potential candidates. This one over here is the work we did together earlier. "

The second list was quite a bit smaller than both the other lists. Caitlyn glanced over the names. "Vi, how can you be sure that she wasn't lying about them not being Ionian?"

"I just know, trust me."

Caitlyn frowned. "Fine."

"Can I continue now?" Vi asked. The Sheriff nodded.

"Ok, so. They're not Ionian, so that takes out all of _these_ champions." Vi said, indicating the Ionians on the complete roster. "They can't possibly be Voidborn or yordles, so that takes out these."

More hand waving.

"It probably isn't someone from Noxus; I mean, look at the Noxians! I highly doubt that she's dating LeBlanc, Swain, that Draven idiot, or her sister."

Even more emphatic hand waving, although Caitlyn noticed that Darius's name was still on The List.

A couple minutes later, Piltover was ruled out (Everyone knew that Jayce was after Caitlyn, Ezreal didn't swing that way, Caitlyn and Vi most definitely were not it, Jinx was too crazy, Corki didn't have a social life, Orianna was… A robot, and Ziggs and Heimerdinger were yordles).

The Kumungu Jungle inhabitants followed.

And then the Shurimans (Sivir would want nothing to do with a Du Couteau… Not after the incident with Cassiopeia, and Azir was just plain strange).

Demacia went next.

After a lot of debate, most Zaunite champions were crossed out, along with Bilgewater, Mount Targon, and the Shadow Isles.

Caitlyn shifted in her seat. "So that leaves…"

Vi finished for her. "The Factionless, and Freljord."  
The Sheriff frowned. "I don't think it would be Freljord. Ashe and Tryndamere are married, the Ice Witch is well… An Ice Witch, Sej-"

"It's Sejuani."

Caitlyn blinked. "... Vi, are you serious? You can't be serious."

"I'm serious! Think about it: They are both mean, both rude, both brutes who love violence, both without a known partner!"  
"You're forgetting that they hate each other."

"They hate everyone. If we crossed out everyone that they hated, there would be no one left on the list!"

"True…" Caitlyn conceded. "But is there any more proof?"

"Ok, remember when Ashe came in to check on our progress?"

Caitlyn nodded. "Mhmm."

"Don't you think she was acting… Strange?"

The Sheriff was mildly shocked once again that her bull-headed partner had picked up on that.

"Go on…"

"She told us that Sejuani could be crossed off the list." Vi said.

Understanding hit Caitlyn. "Ashe knows something! But then why wouldn't she just straight up tell us?"

"Perhaps she has been threatened or blackmailed." The Enforcer suggested.

Her superior smiled darkly, her hidden evilness showing through. "We can confront her at the ball."

Vi laughed. "I would take Evil You more seriously if you had some clothes on."

Caitlyn blushed. "Shut up!"

**Irelia's room…**

The door opened in the middle of Riven's rant, stopping her and drawing the attention of everyone in the cramped room.

Akali blinked. "Am I interrupting something?" She asked, taking another bite of her cupcake.

"No! Not at all…!" Shen exclaimed. "Glad to see that you're safe, Akali."

Everyone else seconded the statement, happy for a respite from Riven's long speech. "Where have you been?" Karma demanded.  
"Mm, you know. Teleporting issues. I ended up in Katarina's room, and had to defend this." Akali gestured to her cupcake and took another bite.

The other Ionians (and Riven) all silently stared.

"So… What happened to Katarina?" Riven asked nervously.

"Mmm… Don't worry 'bout it, honey." The Fist of Shadow replied.

Ahri looked impressed. "You saved the cupcake from the Sinister Blade?"

Akali stuffed the rest of said cupcake into her mouth. "Nnmmmhhhmm."

"Dedicated." Irelia muttered under her breath.

"Strong." Kennen agreed.

"A true Ionian!" Karma declared.

Shen nodded his head sagely. "We know what this means."

Master Yi picked up one of the boxes and knelt before the female Kinkou ninja. "Akali, The Fist of Shadow. Today, we bestow upon you this box of stolen cupcakes, to take home and call your own along with the rest of your share. Along with that, we also…"

Irelia finished for him. "We also bestow upon you the great title of Cupcake Saviour. Wear the title with pride and honor, for you deserve it for your dedication and determination."

And with that, the rest of the Ionians knelt before the Fist of Shadow, who gently took the box from Master Yi and cradled it like it was some golden treasure… Which to them, it was.

'_What the actual fuck just happened...'_ Riven now had something else to add to her list of Top 5 Weirdest Shit That She'd Ever Seen Ever.

She was seriously weirded out. And knowing that her girlfriend was part of some sort of crazy Cupcake Cult wasn't helping matters either.

**Meanwhile…**

Lux giggled and poured some more tea for Ashe. "Some more tea, my Queen?"

"Why, thank you, Lady Crownguard!" Ashe said regally, making sure to hold her pinky out.

Kayle slouched and wished she were elsewhere, while Leona zoned out.

"I must say, Señor Banana Chicken, you host a _smashing_ party!" The Frost Archer complimented the stuffy.

The Judicator studied her sword, which was lying on the ground beside her. '_What evil is this… This mind-numbing, life-sucking event?! How must I purge it?!'_

The sword glowed a faint orange. The angel reached for it and traced a finger along the edge of the blade. _'Perhaps I must start at the source...'_ She thought, eyeing the tea party host.

Señor Banana Chicken didn't react to the contemplative stare directed his way.

Thankfully (or not, depends on who you're rooting for), Lux just so happened to glance at her clock. She gasped. "Oh! Look at the time! You must get going, if you want to get to the Ball!"

Leona blinked, coming back to reality. "Wha- what?"

Ashe raised an eyebrow. "Lux, it's lunchtime. The Ball doesn't start for another 5 hours…"

The Lady of Luminosity sighed. "Yes, but I have to get ready."

"..."

Leona got up, stretching her stiff arms and legs. "Ok, I will be going then. Thank you for the tea."

She got out as fast as politely possible.

Ashe was next to go, smiling at Lux. "See you at the Ball then, Luxanna!"

That left Kayle.

The Judicator eyed the stuffy. Then she glanced at the door.

Her urge to get out overpowered the urge to slice off Señor Banana Chicken's head.

Kayle walked to the door and pointed two fingers at her eyes, and then at the chicken. The universal gesture for, _'I'M WATCHING YOU'_.

"We're not done here, Señor Banana Chicken!" She proclaimed and promptly walked out.

Lux watched her go, and then turned to Señor Banana Chicken. "Señor! What did you do!" She chastised.

**Irelia's room, the conclusion of the Great Cupcake Caper…**

Karma turned to Riven. "Ionians." She announced solemnly. "This private operation has been breached by an outsider who has seen and heard too much. What shall we do to this witness?"

Yasuo raised a hand. "Execute her?"

"Torture her." Ahri suggested.

"Cut her tongue out!" Kennen chimed in.

"Impalement?" Akali shrugged.

"Trial by combat." Master Yi stated.

"Boil her alive." Shen said.

All eyes turned to Irelia.

"Well, Irelia? Have you an idea?" Karma asked.

The Will of the Blades was pale. "I-I-..."

Riven watched her girlfriend struggle between her conflicting loyalties and decided to step in. "You can't hurt me; the League will destroy Ionia if a champion is harmed by an Ionian champion."

Shen grunted. "She has a point." He was slightly disappointed that they wouldn't be boiling anybody alive.

The Nine-Tailed Fox wasn't happy, either. "She will tell someone!"

Riven huffed. "Of course I will! I-"

"We'll give you 2 boxes of cupcakes if you don't tell anyone." Irelia cut in.

The Exile stared at her, and then at the boxes. Her eyes narrowed suspiciously and her stomach grumbled.

"... Are they Morgana's recipe?" She asked, remembering that the Fallen Angel's name had come up earlier while she'd been in the closet."

"Yup."  
"4 boxes."

"2."

"4."

"Fine, how about 3." Irelia tried to compromise.

"Deal."

**2 hours later…**

"I feel so dirty…" Riven confessed, biting into a cupcake. Irelia's voice floated out of the closet.

"Don't. They are clean, I assure you."

The Exiled sighed. "I also have nothing to wear to the Ball tonight."

"Hm… A nice dress?"

Riven blanched at the thought.

And then an idea hit her.

"Hey, Irelia? Do you know where Vi's room is?"

**The West Wing… **

_KNOCK! KNOCK!_

Vi groaned. "Cait, can you get that?"  
"I'm doing my hair! You do it!" Was the reply from the bathroom.

Vi groaned again and slumped over to her door.

It opened while Riven was mid-knock. The Piltovian blinked in surprise.

"Uh, hey, Vi." Riven said awkwardly. The 2 didn't really interact much.

The Piltover Enforcer rubbed the back of her neck. "'Sup, Riven?"

"I need your help…"

**The North Wing… **

"KATARINA! Open the door! I know you're in there!"

*silence*

"... Kat?"

*more silence*

"Kat if you don't open this door in the next 5 seconds, I will-"

The door slowly swung open.

*gasp of shock*

"What happened, Kat?!"

Katarina sighed. "I challenged Akali, in a way."

"And lost?"  
"Shut up."

"Well on the bright side… I love the new additions to your shirt."

The Noxian glanced down at her ruined shirt, which revealed her toned stomach and many bleeding cuts that she'd received from the Kinkou ninja.

"... You little perv."

**The mess hall…**

Chatter filled the big hall. Little blue cleaning orbs zipped about, wiping up messes wherever they occurred. Such as Mundo throwing papers at Heimerdinger. Or Lee Sin accidentally dropping the soup bowl because he misjudged the location of the table.

Kayle walked in with Leona. They got some food and sat down at a rare empty table.

"So, Leona. You going with anyone to the Ball?" Kayle asked, stirring her soup.

Leona looked away. "I… Ahh… Nooooooo…"

The angel raised an eyebrow but didn't question it.

**Another 2 hours later… **

The Ballroom was set. Blue streamers hung from the rafters, soft music played from the walls (literally), beautiful crystal chandeliers illuminated the grand, spacious room, and various other decorations (such as blue-white flowers and crystals) gave the room an elegant feel. Heavy drapes obscured the entrance to the balcony outside.

All that was left was the food.

Pantheon slowly dragged a heavy cart of tarts in, grunting in exertion.

Behind him, Morgana effortlessly levitated 49 carts of various other desserts.

Pantheon glared in jealousy.

Morgana caught the stare and smirked. "All master bakers can do this, young apprentice. Continue on your path, and one day yet you may be able to carry 49 carts at once."  
"But… You're not even carrying them." Pantheon argued. "They are levitating."

Morgana promptly dropped them (gently of course! Wouldn't want the icing to fall off, now would she?)onto the ground. "Now I'm not levitating them."

"... I do not get the point of this conversation anymore…"

A couple minutes later, the foods were all laid out on the many tables scattered throughout the edges of the room.

The main attraction?

A.  
Fucking.

Giant.  
Blue.

And.

White.

Cake.

(me want! GAAAH! T_T)

Morgana had just put the last slice of pie onto the table when the large double doors swung open once again.

A couple of Summoners, clad in their usual purple robes, mingled with the champions and were there mostly just in case something went wrong.

Lux floated in, her blonde hair falling in a cascade down her back and a flowing blue-grey, strapless dress on.

She'd spent an hour deciding whether to go as extravagant or simple.

Simple had won out (thankfully. Last year, she'd gone with- but nevermind, that is a story for another time).

The Lady of Luminosity spotted Caitlyn and Vi near the punch bowl, chatting and watching people dance.

"Hey, Cait! Hey, Vi!" The Demacian greeted.

Caitlyn smiled. "Hello, Luxanna. You look good tonight." She said.

The Sheriff was wearing the dark blue, one shoulder backless dress (if you haven't guessed already, blue is a prominent Snowdown color… At least for my story teehee… DEAL WITH IT).

"Thanks! You look great too!" Lux giggled back. "And Vi, _love_ the hair."  
The Enforcer had slicked her hair up and was wearing her Debonair outfit. "Thanks, Lux."

Just then, Riven and Irelia walked in.

Lux's eyes widened when she saw Riven. "Oh my, is this some sort of new fashion statement?"

For the Exile was wearing the exact same outfit as Vi.

The Piltovian shrugged. "I had a spare."

**Across the room… **

Malzahar was explaining the end of the world to Lee Sin.

"I see… I see…" The Blind Monk said, stroking his facial hair. "And will they really come out of the toilets as well?"

Kassadin, who was walking by, heard this and snorted. "How can you listen to this?"

**Back across the room again…**

"Hey, what's happening there?" Irelia wondered, pointing to a patch of commotion in the sea of bodies.

Purple Void energy pulsed from the spot. The Summoners started rushing in to stop Malzahar and Kassadin from destroying the Ballroom.

Caitlyn noticed something out of the corner of her eye. "Vi! Look!" She hissed, pointing towards the drapes.

The Enforcer turned just in time to see silver hair disappear behind the curtains.

Vi raised an eyebrow at Caitlyn.

"_Ashe?"_ The Sheriff mouthed to her.

Understanding dawned in Vi's eyes.

As one, Piltover's Finest slipped away from their friends and headed towards the balcony.

At this time, there wouldn't really be anyone outside.

Caitlyn stopped moving right before the curtains. "Alright, so, how about you go in first and I'll-"

Vi pushed the drapes aside and stepped out.

The Sheriff sighed. "Or… You could go in with absolutely no plan at all… As usual." She muttered, following her partner.

Caitlyn froze alongside Vi once she, too, saw what was happening on the other side.

Leona, face red, stepped away from who she'd just, moment ago, been kissing.

The silver hair hadn't belonged to Ashe… It had been Diana.

Vi's eyes darted back and forth between them. "Aren't you two… I mean… I thought you guys were…"  
"Enemies. Bitter rivals." Caitlyn managed to say.

(Actually… Vi was going to say, 'straight', but that works too, Caitlyn.)

Diana shrugged, seemingly unaffected at being caught with her 'arch-nemesis'. "That's what they all think, right, Leona?"

**Back inside…**

"Where did Caitlyn and Vi go?" Lux wondered. Riven shrugged. The fight between Malzahar and Kassadin had been stopped, and the two kicked out of the room.

"Perhaps they went to dance." She supplied.

Irelia smiled. "Sounds good. May I have this dance?" She asked Riven just as the song changed to something more fast-paced than the previous one.

They walked off, leaving Lux alone.

She sighed. "Where is Ashe?"  
Right on cue, the doors opened again and the Queen of Freljord walked in.

Silence spread through the crowd as terrible memories resurfaced.

Ashe was wearing a teal dress with a transparent train, which was decorated with snowflake patterns, everything sparkling as if made of ice. Her once-blonde, silver-white hair had been put into an elegant braid, hanging elegantly down her left shoulder. Blazing blue eyes completed the look.

*silence*

And then…

Annie squealed in delight. "OMG! QUEEN ELSA!"

The little fire mage jumped into the surprised Ashe's arms. Innocent green orbs found shocked blue ones as she asked the question that everyone had been dreading since laying eyes on the Frost Archer.

"Can you sing Let it Go?!"

Amumu quickly ran up and dragged Annie away before she could piss the other champions off further.

***A while ago… (Ionia)***

The doors to the movie theater burst open and a crowd of kids poured out onto the neat cobblestone path.

"Do you wanna build a snowman?" One little girl sang to her friend.  
"Come on, let's go and play!" A boy yelled to his brother, tugging on his hand.

For almost 2 months, Ionia had suffered from off-key singing.

Of the same.

Fucking.

Songs.

And it didn't help that when it started snowing… Well, let's just say that if snowmen could be soldiers, Ionia would have had enough for an entire army.

***Noxus, a while back***

"High Command, we have been getting several requests to execute anyone who is singing that dastardly song!" One of the officers said.

"Which song?"

"Let it Go, si-"

"HE SAID IT! HE SAID THE FORBIDDEN WORDS!" Someone yelled.

"EXECUTE HIM!" Another voice screamed.

"IMPALE HIM!"

"Oh my god! Can you guys just let it go already?!" The lone voice stood out among the other.

Too late, he realized that he'd said, '_THE FORBIDDEN WORDS'_.

***Demacia, suffering from Frozen as well***

"The cold never bothered me anyway!" Lux sang, slamming the door closed behind her.

Jarvan sighed and banged his head onto his desk. "No… Stop… I can't take it anymore, Lux. You have been singing that song for the past 2 weeks straight! I've never even heard the actual thing, and I know all the lyrics!"

Fiora snorted. "I agree! Zees has gone on vor _far_ too long. I suggest zat ve get Vayne to hunt ze makers of zat… _Film."_ She spat. "And make it stop!"

"Fiora, killing them won't make it stop." Shauna Vayne said. "And why me?"

"Are you not an 'unter?"

"Well, yes, but of those who are dark and-"  
"DOES ZIS NOT QUALIFY AS EVIL?!"

Lux stomped her foot. "I will not let you kill them, Vayne! I will not!"

**Present day…**

"Oh my, Ashe. Where did you get that outfit?!" Lux exclaimed.

"The Institute gave it to me…" The archer muttered.

The Lady of Luminosity playfully poked her friend. "Well, what should we call you now? Queen Elsa? Queen Ashe? Ashe the Ice Queen? Or, I know!" She gasped. "Elsa the Frost Archer!"

"... What? I, no, I-"

At that moment, a Summoners voice interrupted all conversation.

"Ahem, attention please." It was a female Summoner.

"The votings for this years Snowdown Royalty is now open! Voting closes in half an hour- get your votes in now!"

Snowdown Royalty was equivalent to Snowdown Queen/King. Eventually, the League had just given up on the whole King/Queen deal with that, because the two didn't always get along. Instead, it could be 1 or 2 females, or 1 or 2 males. Or one of each.

Usually it was a couple, if it was 2.

Riven made her way to Ashe and Lux with Irelia right behind her. "You going to vote, or you going to dance?"

**A/N: VOTE!**

**Funny thing, I have a reader called Elsa the Frost Archer... Hmm...**

**As I said before, i'm sorry for the late update! I really am!**

**Some stuff may be rushed but I really wanted to get this out. I really do!  
Anyways, I'm going to let YOU guys vote on who should be this years Snowdown Royalty! **

**Next chapter may be up soon or later, but we'll see, we'll see. **

**Cameo's: Leona x Diana, requested by &amp; Lee Sin and Malzahar, requested by Ace Ham. **

**The part where Akali teleports into Katarina's room is based on the idea from tomy98 **

**C:**

**Anyways, see you next time!**

**XOXO~ Creator0fWords**


	17. Demacians and Cakes

**Chapter 17: Demacians and Cakes**

**At last, the short conclusion to the Ball is upon us! I had no time to write this enjoy :D**

* * *

"I would dance, but I feel like if I get too close to the other champions that someone is going to kill me." Ashe said. "Hans might not be real, but Noxus is, and I can see Darius giving me the evil eye already." She shivered. Her friends turned to see the Hand of Noxus mime someone singing and then him cutting their head off.

Irelia shrugged. "I'm sorry to tell you this, Ashe, but you're probably right. The blue eyes, the hair, the dress… Even the ice powers! You are like the real life incarnation of Queen Elsa. So uh, can I ask you a question?" The Ionian leaned closer to the Queen of Freljord.

"_Can_ you sing Let it Go?"

Riven promptly grabbed her girlfriend and dragged her away, shooting an apologetic glance at Ashe over her shoulder.

"Hey! Let me go! LET ME GO!" Irelia screamed.

Lux shuffled awkwardly. "Is this a bad time for me to ask-"  
"I swear to Avarosa, Lux, you better not me asking me to sing that song." Ashe said in a threatening tone.

"..."

**Meanwhile…**

"How long are you going to stare at us for?" Diana asked, leaning back against the railing. A breeze ruffled her silver hair and Lunar Goddess dress. Leona looked far more uncomfortable than the moon's sole warrior.

"... What?" Vi mumbled, snapping out of her stupor.

"Hmm?" Caitlyn asked, unfreezing.

The Scorn of the Moon shook her head. "Nothing."

And then, low enough that only Leona (who was standing next to her) could hear, she muttered, "Incompetent fools… Is listening really that hard?"

**Somewhere in the Institute…**

"Where is Lux?" Jarvan demanded to Garen, who shook his head.

"I do not know…"

Fiora sniffed. "Incapable older brozzer. 'Ow do you not know vere your seester ees?"

"I'm not a stalker, Fiora." Garen retorted.

"Ah you sure?" Fiora drawled. "I sought zat you stalk zat Noxian bi-"

"Shut up!"

Jarvan sighed. "Enough of this! We must be getting to the Ball soon!"

The grand DEMACIAN entry would not be complete without the Lady of Demacia- I mean, Luminosity. But they would have to make due.

The Demacians adjusted their yellow and blue attire (which, by the way, totally goes against the Snowdown Theme!) and Shyvana fidgeted with her dress.

"They better have cake." She grumbled. "Only cake can make up for wearing this little piece of shit…"

Oh how the half-dragon wished that she could tear the dress apart and just wear her armour instead. But _noooo_. Jarvan had _insisted_ that wearing armour to the Ball would be considered _rude._

Shyvana considered the_ dress_ rude- to her skin.

It was fucking itchy.

**About 10 minutes later…?**

"Hey, Lux…" Ashe began, snatching a cupcake.

"Yes, my Queen?" Lux giggled. Her friend glared at her.

"Where are the other Demacians?" The Frost Archer inquired, "And don't call me that."

It was then the Lady of Luminosity noticed that her people were nowhere to be seen.

The Noxians were stalking around the edges of the crowd of people.

The Freljordians were locked up in Freljord (except Ashe, of course).

The Ionians were raiding the food tables.

Most of the Piltovians were standing in a corner together, watching the Zaunites.

Naturally, the Bilgewater inhabitants were drinking.

But the Demacians…

_SLAM!_

The great doors banged against the walls on either side and an entourage of hideous yellow and blue marched in. The champions all went silent as the Demacians made their grand entrance.

In the lead was none other than Jarvan Lightshield IV, flanked on either side by the leader of the Dauntless Vanguard, Garen Crownguard, and the Seneschal, Xin Zhao. Directly behind Jarvan was Shyvana, who kept discreetly adjusting her dress. Bringing up the rear were Fiora, Vayne, Quinn, and Sona, all dressed in the Demacian colors, although Sona was smart enough to realize that with her blue hair, all she needed to wear was a yellow sundress. Even Valor had a blue and yellow collar around his neck.

Swain, LeBlanc, Darius, and all the other present Noxians quickly ran to the balcony to hurl off the building.

Lux's eyes widened. "Oh no, I must have forgotten to show up to another one of Jarvan's thingies… Again!"

Garen made eye contact with his sister from across the room. And then he narrowed his eyes at Ashe.

**Outside, on the balcony…**

"Ok. Seriously, is this really that big of a fucking deal?!" Diana huffed, crossing her arms.

"... What?" Vi mumbled, snapping out of her stupor.

"Hmm?" Caitlyn asked, unfreezing.

Leona had had enough. "Alright, I get it. Thi-"

She was interrupted by Darius throwing the curtains back and rushing onto the balcony, closely followed by the other Noxians. They pushed Piltover's Finest and the Chosen of the Sun and Moon to the side, rushing to lean over the balcony.

Leona, Diana, and Caitlyn looked away as the poor Noxians hurled the contents of their stomach over the railing. Vi merely scoffed, "It's not good to get so wasted before they even announce the Snowdown Royalty."

Talon looked up weakly. "The- The Demacians." He rasped. "I-It burns… M-my e-eyes…" With that, the Blade's Shadow collapsed against the railing. "Go… On… Without me…" He murmured, to which the Du Couteau sisters responded by yelling, "NO! STAY WITH US!"

"TALON! NOOO! WHAT WILL WE DO WITHOUT YOU?!" Cassiopeia cried.

"TALON! YOU STILL OWE ME 500 GOLD!" Katarina wailed, burying her face in her foster brothers shirt.

"WHO WILL WATCH KEEPING UP WITH THE DEMACIAN'S WITH ME NOW!?" The Serpent's Embrace lamented.

"YOU LITTLE PIECE OF SHIT! I WANT MY MONEY BAAAAAAACK!" The Sinister Blade yelled, voice muffled by Talon's shirt.

Vi blinked. "What have the Demacian's done…?"

She made to open the curtains again and step back inside, but Caitlyn grabbed her arm. "No! Vi! Don't do it!" The Sheriff pleaded.

They locked eyes for a single second that felt like an eternity. An eternity of warmth and love, of happiness and unspoken feelings. Of truth and goodness. Of cupcakes and warm summer afternoons on a beach. Of… Well you get the point.

Vi stepped toward Caitlyn. "Caitlyn… I have to go in."

"No… Vi, please don't do this!" The Sheriff begged, tears streaming down her face.

"I have no choice, Cupcake." The Enforcer whispered, cupping her partner's face in her hands. "My curiosity is too great."

"Vi…"  
"Yes?"  
"I-It was nice working with you."

"Right back at you, Cupcake." Vi smiled softly.

"I'll see you on the other side, Vi." Caitlyn sniffed.

"You bet."

The pink-haired Enforcer pressed her lips to her superiors, drawing her in for a heart-felt kiss.

They pulled away. "I will always respect you, Caitlyn." Vi prepared herself for the other side. "No matter what happens."

"Goodbye, Vi."  
The Piltover Enforcer took a deep breath and charged through the curtains. As soon as she was through, the Sheriff was aware of the audience around her.

"What?" Caitlyn turned to meet the gazes of the Noxians, Leona, and Diana.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

Katarina leaned over the railing again, and was soon joined thereafter by Cassiopeia, Swain, LeBlanc, Darius, and Draven.  
"Draven will never recover from tonight!" The narcissistic Noxian wailed.

"That… Was sappy, heartfelt, and cheesy." Katarina managed to choke out.

"Absolutely repulsive…" LeBlanc agreed.

Diana wrapped her arms around Leona. "And _you're_ judging _us_?" The Scorn of the Moon scoffed at Caitlyn.

**On the other side…**

"Oh… My… Gods…" Vi whispered.

The solid chunk of blue and yellow that was the Demacians sat right in the middle of the dance floor. From where she stood, it looked like it was rippling… Or restraining something.

And then…

"ROOOAAARRR!"

A massive red and gold dragon erupted out of the Demacian posse, straight towards…

The.  
Fucking.

Giant.  
Blue.

And.

White.

Cake.

"Oh lawdy…" Vi whispered.

It seemed to happen in slow motion.

Shyvana breaking free.

Shyvana flying towards her target.

The Ionians and Morgana moving to protect the food.

Shyvana reaching her claws towards the cake.

Shyvana crashing into the cake.

(All this moment needed was for Ash Ketchum to pop out of nowhere and yell, "SHYVANA! USE TACKLE!"

Thankfully, this is _far_ from the Pokémon universe.

Err… Back to the story…)

"NO!" Irelia screamed, breaking out of Riven's grasp and sprinting towards the cake… And Shyvana.

The Summoners looked shocked, and then quickly grouped up to decide on a course of action.

Kennen zipped over in a flash to where Shyvana was hugging the cake and taking out huge chunks of it with every bite.

As you can imagine… It was chaos.

Vi shielded her face as globs of icing and cake flew around the room.

"Well, Vi… I told you not to go in."

The Enforcer turned to see Caitlyn grinning at her.

With a wry smile, the pink-haired woman moved to shield her partner from the cake projectiles. "Welcome to the other side, Cupcake."

**20 minutes later…**

It took 20 minutes for the Summoners to restrain Shyvana, and 20 minutes for Shyvana to demolish the cake.

A happy looking half-dragon now sat on the ground, belly swollen and ruined dress barely covering her 'private areas'. The Summoners (with the help of the Ionians and a very angry Morgana) had managed to finally trap Shyvana under a net of magic… But not until _after_ she'd eaten the cake and reverted back to human form.

Akali panted for breath, her dress for the evening having suffered many tears and gashes in the fight against the half-dragon. Irelia's fared no better, although Karma had somehow managed to come out of the encounter without so much as a wrinkle on her blue and white flowered dress.

Irelia and Akali both directed a sidelong glare at the Enlightened One.

"Summoner Henry, what should we do about the half-dragon?" One of the young summoners asked his superior.

Henry shrugged. "Put her outside?"

And that was how Shyvana ended up sitting outside… For the third Snowdown in a row.

**Meanwhile…**

Lux ran over to the Demacian entourage. "Hi guys!"  
What she received in return was the evil eye from Jarvan and Garen. "WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN!?" They demanded. "And why were you with Queen Elsa!?" Garen added on.

Lux shuffled awkwardly. "I… Er… Forgot about today? And that's Ashe. The Summoners gave her that outfit to wear and now she looks exactly like Elsa."

Jarvan sighed. "Lux… I cannot remember the last time that you showed up for a meeting."

"... Last Snowdown?"

The Demacians shivered at the thought.

Suddenly, a high-pitched ringing sounded through the room. The assembled Champions watched as a middle section of the floor slowly rotated upwards in the shape of a cylinder. The people standing on the section quickly got off, leaving a tall cylindrical dias in the middle of the floor, with stair leading up on two sides.

The Summoners filed up the stairs, and one of them magically amplified their voice.

"Ladies and gentlemen… And yordles." He added on as an afterthought.

Just then, the doors opened once more. Zyra walked in, hand in hand (or stem in root, whichever you prefer) with Maokai. The two may have been rivals once upon a time, but not anymore. The Twisted Treant had even gone and died his wood black for the occasion, with a spray-on red tie in the middle of his chest.

"Oh my, are we late again?" Zyra laughed awkwardly and pulled Maokai to the concessions. He lumbered after her contentedly, admiring her… Flowers.

"... Err, and uh… Reincarnated life forces." The Summoner tacked on. "The votes for Snowdown Royalty are officially in! And might I add… These two won by a _landslide_ vote!

They may not be a couple, but they did win the polling. May I present this years Snowdown Queens, RIVEN and VI!"

Clapping, yells, and cheers were the background to which a red-faced Riven and a shocked Vi slowly walked up from opposite stairs onto the dias. Irelia and Caitlyn cheered the loudest, of course. Although both wished that they could be the ones up there…

The Summoner smiled and congratulated the two Champions. One of the younger female Summoners brought forth a red velvet cushion, on which two tiara's of silver sat. They were levitated and placed on Riven and Vi's heads, and the two smiled shyly and waved at the audience.

Ashe smiled brightly from her position near the back, away from people who would gut her. She felt something tugging on her hand and looked down.

Big green eyes looked back up at her. "Can you sing Let it Go?" Annie Hastur begged once more.

Ashe dimly wondered what had happened to Amumu…

**A/N: Dum dum dum dummmmmmm! At last, procrastination is over and I have finished this chapter! YAAAAAAAY! Reviews, likes, follows, favs, are ALWAYS appreciated! And if you ever just want to talk, add me on LoL! I love talking to readers! IGN: gamergirl1123**

**The Shyvana cake thing was an idea from tomy98… man, you've got some great ideas. **

**Originally, I'd wanted the Snowdown Queen to be Ashe. But alas, voting resulted in Riven and Vi getting the most votes (although Zyra was pretty close). Anyways, I don't know when the next chapter will be up… The way I write is kind of strange. I need to have this specific scene that I want to write, and I'll spend the whole chapter leading up to it or building it up.**

**Next chapter, if any of you have read Throne of Glass, you can expect an assassin trying to play billiards. I'm going to enjoy writing that immensely…**

**I ENCOURAGE YOU TO READ KANADESONG'S GREAT TRIUMVIRATE STORY IF YOU WANT A LAUGH. AND NO, I'M TOTALLY NOT BEING AN EVIL DOUCHE AND PROMOTING SO THAT YOU'LL UPDATE *glare* no hard feelings i'll take this down if you tell me.**

**C U NXT TIME!  
XOXO~ Creator0fWords **


	18. Chapter 18 Deleted Scene

**Hey guys!**

**Just letting you know beforehand, this isn't chapter 18.**

**I planned on getting it out about 2 weeks ago, but then... EXAMS hit. I've been too busy to finish the chapter, so I'm sorry guys. However, I promise that it will be out soon! Instead, I decided to reveal to you guys a scene that was going to be in the next chapter... But that I've decided to remove, for reasons that you may be able to guess (like, it's a bit too weird, even for this story...)**

**So without further ado, ENJOY! (And forgive me)**

**~Creator**

* * *

A quiet, tranquil morning.

Yasuo woke up feeling… Different. Lighter, somehow. Happier.

He smiled and rolled over… Only to hit something. A feeling of dread settled in his stomach as the something rolled over as well.

"Good morning, Yasuo." Zed purred. "I really enjoyed last night, didn't you?"

Yasuo screamed and smashed Zed on the head with the potted Bonsai sitting on the bedside table, much in the same fashion as an old lady defending her purse. The Unforgiven quickly scrambled out of the bed… Which he then realized wasn't even his.

Brown (At least, I'm assuming that Yasuo has brown eyes; I mean, his splash and stuff doesn't actually _show you…) _eyes scanned their surroundings.

A Pentakill poster in one corner. A whole wall dedicated to weapons and instruments of torture. Tasteful, modern furniture. And an angry looking Master of Shadows throwing the sheets back, rubbing his visor (seriously, does he ever take that thing off!?) where the Bonsai (which he'd named DEATH) had hit him.

"You." Zed growled, sounding very much like Darth Vader. "You. Killed. DEATH!"

Yasuo looked confused. "I killed what?"

Zed growled again, "YOU KILLED DEATH!"

"… Excuse me?" The Unforgiven didn't think that he'd killed Death. If he had, well, wasn't that a good thing? No one dying anymore?

"My Bon- you know what, never mind." The Master of Shadows got up and prowled closer to Yasuo. "You're going to pay for that."

Yasuo gulped and backed up into the wall. He did _not _like where this was going, eyes once again flitting to the wall of torture instruments.

Zed stopped a few feet away and held a hand out.

Yasuo stared at the outstretched hand, confused.

Zed sighed. "I told you that you were going to pay for that. The Bonsai cost me 50 IP, now hand it over."


	19. Games and Assassins

Guest chapter 18 . Jun 16

Wanna see some kayle x morgana or katarina x ashe but I think that's impossible. I love how you put Diana x Leona here. Continue, please :)

**Whoever wrote that, I am _cursing_ you for not logging in. Nothing is impossible. I've been working up to my favorite ships for the whole. Fucking. Story. And I sure as hell ain't revealing this shit in the authors notes. Just letting you know, do not tell me anything is impossible for this story :C and ty :)**

* * *

**Chapter 18: Games and Assassins**

Twas the day after the Ball,

And all through the League.

Not a creature was awake,

Oh wait… There's the Queen.

**The morning after the Ball, Ashe's room (7am)…**

Ashe was tired.

The first Champions hadn't left the Ball until midnight, and the last one (It was Lux; go figure.) had left at 4am, but only after the irritated Summoners had kicked her out.

The Frost Archer sighed contentedly as she stepped into the bath that she'd drawn for herself.

"Stupid Summoners…" She growled to herself as she glared daggers (or arrows) at the dress she'd worn the previous night, lying unceremoniously on the toilet seat.

After much begging (and threatening), Annie had _finally_ managed to persuade the Freljordian to sing a couple of verses from 'The Song That Shall Not be Named'. Of course, not even halfway through the first line…

***Flashback***

"The snow glows white on the mountain tonight," Ashe sang, voice gentle and sweet. Those nearest to her quieted down, listening to her entrancing voice.

"Not a-"

_THWACK!_

Ashe blinked and looked to her arm, where a dagger had pinned her right up against the wall (through her clothes and not her flesh, thankfully). Directing fearful eyes to the other side of the room, she saw Katarina, Cassiopeia, Swain, and Leblanc glaring at her. Katarina spun another knife around on her hand, LeBlanc raised her staff, Swain said something to Beatrice, and Cassiopeia quickly checked her nails.

The Frost Archer gulped. How in the world had they heard her!?

It must be that damned bird. That, or Noxians had super-hearing.

Darius stepped into the room, followed by Draven. The executioner grinned evilly at Ashe, and started walking closer.

Deciding to make a break for it, Ashe yanked the dagger out of the wall and dashed towards the doors. Before she could get there, chains flew across the room and wrapped around her wrists and ankles. The Queen fell to the floor, 3 feet shy of freedom.

The sea of Champions parted before the Noxians, and LeBlanc cackled with delight.  
"Well well well, look what the chains dragged in~" She purred, stepping closer to Ashe, who struggled futilely against her bonds.

"One little wanna-be ssssssinger~" Cassiopeia hissed, now checking the nails on her other hand.

"Beatrice is hungry." Swain rasped.

Draven twirled his mustache. "Draaaaaven hates that song; it was the only thing more popular in Noxus than Draven! AND DRAAAVEN. IS. NUMBER. ONE!"

Darius facepalmed and decided not to say anything along with Katarina, who, strangely, did not look like she particularly wanted to gut the Frost Archer.

Ashe struggled futilely against the chains as-

"YAY! TIBBERS!"

A giant fucking bear just _appeared_ in front of her.

Draven shrieked and stepped backwards into Cassiopeia, who shoved him away. The unlucky executioner ended up stumbling into the Serpent's sister, who shoved him back towards Cassiopeia.

The game of Du Couteau pinball lasted only until Draven, stumbling from a particularly hard push, landed face-first into Katarina's cleavage (so, 30 seconds).

Annie stepped protectively in front of Ashe. "Stay away from Elsa, you baddies!" She yelled, unleashing a wave of fire that singed the wings of Swain's bird.

Squawking indignantly, Beatrice hopped into the throng of champions.

The fire also forced LeBlanc to release her hold on Ashe's chains and step backwards… Right on to Teemo.

Needless to say, Tristana was not happy about that, but the other champions wished that LeBlanc had stepped just a _little_ bit harder. Or been wearing high heels.

And so, with both pairs of Noxian siblings brawling it out, Swain chasing his bird, Tristana chasing LeBlanc around the room, and Annie being dragged away by Amumu, Ashe managed to crawl out the door and to safety.

***End Flashback***

The Frost Archer reluctantly stepped out of her now-cold bath and got dressed for the day.

**Later that morning…**

"Cait, I'm telling you, I know who it is!" Vi shook her partner awake, jumping up and down excitedly.

Caitlyn groaned and lifted her sheets over her head. "Vi, go bother somebody else. I'm tired."

"But Caaaaiiiiit…" Vi whined.

"But nothing, Vi! Go read some Fanfiction or something!" Came the muffled reply.

"But you just told me to go bother somebody else." The Enforcer teased, smirking.

"... I don't care what you do! Just leave me alone!"

**Meanwhile… **

Ezreal scrolled through some more posts on his phone and groaned.

Whoever took that photo of him wearing that bra… Was going to pay. Like seriously, was it not getting old yet!?

And then… The Explorer saw something. His eyes focused in on one post, made by Nidalee: _"Nice work, Yas! Can I hire you to take some pics of you know who? ;)" _

Ezreal stood up and grabbed his gauntlet.

It was time to pay a certain Ionian swordsman a visit.

**Dun dun dun dunnnn… **

A quiet, tranquil morning.

Yasuo woke up feeling… Different. Lighter, somehow. Happier.

The Unforgiven got up, stretched, watered his little Bonsai plant (which he'd named Bob), and got ready to head out for the day.

_KNOCK! KNOCK!_

"Come in!" Yasuo called without thinking.

From his place in the closet, Yasuo heard the door opening and closing, as well as a quiet pair of footsteps.

A figure stood at the entrance to his closet, blocking out the sunlight coming in.

"Umm… Hi?" The Unforgiven said uncertainly, as he was clothed only in a pair of boxers and felt really awkward.

The figure said nothing.

**The mess hall…**

"Oh my gosh, Lux, did you see what Elise posted just now!?" Leona gasped.

"What?" The Lady of Luminosity asked, setting down her spoon and opening her phone. "Oh… My… Gods…"

"I bet those aren't even _real_."

"Jeez, can you even get them that big?"

"Ugh, she just can't help showing off, can she." Leona snorted, disgusted. "How much did that cost, 1000 RP?"

Ashe walked by. "Hey, guys, what's up?"

"WHAT'S UP!?" Lux cried. "DID YOU JUST ASK ME WHAT'S UP!?"

"... Uh… Yeah?"  
"I'LL TELL YOU WHAT'S UP!" The Demacian shoved her phone into the Queen's face.

"Elise just got five giant poro's as pets!"

(No, if any of you thought that it had to do with 'implants', it does not)

"No. Way." The Frost Archer gaped, grabbing the phone and staring at the picture of the The Spider Queen cuddling with an enormous, fluffy white poro. "What the…"

"Exactly." Leona said, thumping her fist on the table. "What. The."

**Yasuo's room…**

"... Ok, whoever you are, this is getting really weird." Yasuo said, squinting and trying to see the figure who stood at his doorway. Their features were shrouded in shadow, which was starting to slightly creep the Unforgiven out.

Slowly, Yasuo put his shirt just as the figure raised a hand.

Golden light lit up the room.

"Ezreal?" Yasuo gaped, staring at the Explorer. "What are you doing here?"

'_And why were you standing there like a total creep while I was changing…?'_ Was his other, unspoken question.

Ezreal hadn't meant to stand there for so long. He'd planned to run in and interrogate the Ionian about the photo, threaten him, and maybe even hurt him.

What he _hadn't_ planned on was how Yasuo would look shirtless. The sight of toned, muscular abs had stopped the Explorer cold with wild fantasies, especially after he and Taric had broken up…

Ezreal shook his head to clear his thoughts. "I'm here about _the photo._"

Maybe it was the extra emphasis on _the photo,_ but Yasuo knew that whatever was going to happen next, wasn't going to be good. So, naturally, he tried to play dumb.

"What photo?"

Apparently, that was the wrong thing to say.

Ezreal narrowed his eyes and whipped out his phone like it was some sort of gun. "THIS ONE. HOW DID YOU GET IT!?" He snarled.

Yasuo blinked. Then blinked again. And then…

"Leona did it!" The Unforgiven cried, hitting a hidden button on his wall and disappearing beneath a hidden trapdoor under his feet.

"..." Ezreal watched as the trapdoor closed behind the Ionian.

**The East Wing **

A quiet, tranquil morning.

Akali woke up feeling… Different. Lighter, somehow. Happier.

Ah, who was she kidding. It was _never_ a tranquil morning at the Institute.

The Kinkou ninja got up, stretched, watered her little Bonsai plant (which she'd named Pine), and started to meditate on the floor.

Not even a minute in, she heard a muffled thumping noise. Opening one dark brown eye, the ninja cautiously surveyed her room. Was the sound coming from _below_ her?

A square patch of the bamboo flooring suddenly popped up, revealing a set of rungs and a Yasuo. The Unforgiven clambered out, his back facing Akali, and gasped for breath.

The secret tunnel didn't exactly smell like peaches and lotus's.

Yasuo had known that there was a secret tunnel in his room for ages (and by that, I mean 2 days), however he'd never had enough time, motive, (or courage), to properly check it out (although in his defense, finding something unusual at the Institute, especially in your own _room,_ was a terrifying thing). Until now.

"Whew." Yasuo breathed. Then he took in his surroundings. "Where am I…?"

Akali stayed silent and observed the man who had suddenly appeared in her chambers via her secret passageways. Granted, she'd known that _someone_ would have found one eventually…

When she'd told her friends that she had passages connecting the Kinkou rooms, she had lied.

It was more like… Akali had passages to _all_ the rooms that belonged to an Ionian (or ex-Ionian, or exiled Ionian).

Yasuo felt the hairs on the back of his neck rise as he got that strange feeling that someone was watching him. Slowly, he turned his head. Brown eyes met each other.

He gulped. "Err… Akali! I… Uh…"

The Fist of Shadow remained silent.

"Uh…"

"..."

"I'll be going now…"

"..."

Yasuo slowly made his way to the door, never taking his eyes off of the dangerous ninja assassin who's room he'd just invaded.

His back bumped into the wooden door and his hand started searching for the doorknob.

Yasuo blinked, and then… Akali wasn't sitting there on the ground anymore.

Panicking, the Unforgiven whipped his head to the left, wishing that he had his sword with him.

There she was, barely 2 centimetres away.

Yasuo jumped back, surprised.

Akali finally spoke. "How did you find the passage?"

"I… Uh…"

"HOW?"

Threateningly, she rested a hand on one of her kama's, which was currently resting against the wall at her feet. When Yasuo remained silent, still, she picked the weapon up.

"HOW?!"

"I WAS SINGING AND DANCING IN MY CLOSET AND ACCIDENTALLY BUMPED INTO IT!" Yasuo yelled.

"Good. You may go now." Akali stepped back from the door, not asking at all why he'd been singing and dancing in the _closet_, of all places.

Yasuo cautiously opened the door and stepped out.

**Lunchtime…**

"Leona." A voice said from behind the Solari.

The Radiant Dawn turned and smiled brightly. "What's up, Ezreal?"

The sun seemed to grow hotter and brighter as the two stood in the gardens, as if sensing that something was about to happen.

Ezreal prepped his gauntlet. "The photo, Leona. How did you get it?"

Leona was confused. "What photo?"  
The Prodigal Explorer narrowed his eyes and took out his phone again. "This. One." He forced out through gritted teeth.

The Solari's eyes widened. "O-Oh… That one… YASUO DID IT!"  
A solar flare burst down from the sky and momentarily blinded Ezreal, but it was enough time for Leona to get away.

**The North Wing…**

"Talon." Cassiopeia knocked on her foster brother's door. "Talon."

No answer.

"Talon! I know you're in there!"

No answer.

Cassiopeia sighed. "Supreme Awesome Commander Spacepants, come in, Supreme Awesome Commander Spacepants, calling Commander-"

The door opened and there stood Talon, wearing an astronaut outfit. "Why hello there, civilian. How may I help you?"

The Serpent's Embrace sighed internally at Talon's tendency to err… _Adapt_, for lack of a better word, to whatever show he was watching.

***A couple weeks earlier***

"Talon. Open the door." Katarina hissed, pounding on the Noxian's door. "Open the door or I swear to Noxus, I will-"

The door opened to reveal Talon sitting inside on a chair made of blades. "Presenting, Talon of the House Du Couteau, First of His Name, King of the Andals and the First Men, Lord of the Seven Kingdoms and Protector of the Realm." Came a disembodied female voice sounding frighteningly similar to that of the female announcer on the Fields, from somewhere in the room.

"Oh for the hate of all that is bad in the world…" The elder Du Couteau grumbled.

***A while ago***

"Oh my Gods, Caitlyn, I think C is after us! What if she/he tells everyone all our secrets!" Talon gasped. Caitlyn turned around. "What are you doing here? And how long have you been following me for!?"

"Caitlyn, I think C is Veigar. I mean, we all know about his telescope. Or maybe it's Heimerdinger, with his inventions! Or *gasp* someone with motive. Someone who hates everyone. Someone who-"

And then the Sheriff shot Talon with her rifle. The one that was loaded with nets, not bullets.

Talon whimpered. "Maybe… Maybe _YOU_ are C. I've… Got… To… Tell… Hanna…"

***Another time***

"Avatar Talon is here!" Talon announced, jumping onto a tree branch. "I will master all 4 elements and stop the evil Fire Nation. I, Avatar Talon, _will_ stop the evil Fire Nation! I-"

Akali launched a rock at him. "Shut up! Some of us are trying to meditate here!"  
The other Ionians all grumbled assent.

***A time before even that***

"WHO LIVES IN A DORM ROOM IN VALORAN?"  
"TALON! TALON!"  
"OBNOXIOUS AND DARK AND BORING IS HE!"  
"TALON! TALON!"

"IF ASSASSINS FROM NOXUS BE SOMETHING YOU WISH!"  
"KATA- I MEAN, TALON! TALON!"

"THEN GO ON THE FIELDS AND ALL FEED TO HIM!"

(Actually, that never happened. But I can dream, right?)

***Back to the present***

"It's game time." Cassiopeia said, eyeing Talon's outfit.

'_Distasteful.'_ She thought.

Immediately, the Blade's Shadow ran back into his room and switched out his outfit.

"GAME TIME!" He yelled gleefully and ran down the hall.

"Talon. It's the other way." Cassiopeia facepalmed.

"GAME TIME!" Talong yelled and ran in the opposite direction.

**A couple minutes later…**

It was a Noxian thing. The Noxians would gather in Swain's room every once in a while to play games. Chess, truth or dare, never have I ever, MFK, that kind of thing. As expected, it had an 80% chance of ending horribly or with fire.

"Pool. Are you kidding me, Swain?" LeBlanc hissed. "A woman of my standing, expected to play with… Sticks… And balls."

"Precisely." Swain said. "I have this perfectly calculated, with all the possible outcomes on this here flow chart." He proudly unrolled a scroll of parchment which rolled until it hit his wall… 20 feet away. "Pool was the thing _least_ likely to end in disaster. Only a 25% chance!"

The door opened. Talon and Cassiopeia walked in, Talon back to the dark and mysterious persona reserved for the League and Cass with her usual… Snakyness.

The Master Tactician grunted. "Finally. You're here. Where's your sister?"

Cassiopeia cocked her head. "I thought she was here already?"  
"Does it look like she's here?" Darius grumbled from his seat on the couch in front of the fireplace.

"Ugh. She's probably with-" Draven started to say.

"SHH!" Everyone cut the Executioner off.

(DRAVEN, ARE YOU CRAZY!? YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO REVEAL MY SHIPS YET!)

The door opened again and the Sinister Blade walked in, barely containing the grin that kept trying to spread across her face. "Hey guys! Am I- oh my Noxus Swain please don't tell me that's a pool table." Her happiness vanished immediately.

**Meanwhile… **

Lux's phone buzzed and she took it out. _'A text from Leona!'_ She thought, opening it up to

start texting.

Sunknyght13: Lux! HELP ME!

The_Demacian_poro: wuts wrong?

Sunknyght13: It's ezreal! Hes onto me!

The_Demacian_poro: what did you do?

Sunknyght13: He found out that I took the pic of him in that bra

The_Demacian_poro: omg! That was you?!

Sunknyght13: … Yes. NOW HELP ME!

The_Demacian_poro: u need a place to hide?

Sunknyght13: desperately

The_Demacian_poro: ask ashe, I'm busy rn sorry

Sunknyght13: damn it, blondie

Lux set the phone down and went back to watching _The Tales of the Poro King_.

**And then…**

'_Come on come on, pick up pick up!'_ Leona thought, carefully glancing around the corner to check for Ezreal. She'd tried texting Ashe already, and she hadn't replied. This was to be the third and final call.

'_Come on, Ashe...'_

A muffled noise, and then, "'Lo?"

"Ashe? Why weren't you answering!?"  
"I… I was… Busy." Came the faint reply. Leona narrowed her eyes. "Ashe, are you ok?"

"I'm fine, Leona… Why?"

"You sound strange."

Ashe's voice became clearer. "How do you mean?"  
"I dunno… You sound tired and uh… Content, I guess."

"Ok. So, what did you call me for?"

"Oh, right. I need a place to hide for a bit."

"Er… Come on over, then."

"THANKYOUSOMUCHASHEIOWEYOUBIGTIME!"

"... I do not understand a word you just said…"

They hung up and Ashe quickly got up to make both herself and her room more presentable.

**A little bit later…**

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?" Katarina screamed, glaring at the 8 ball which would tip into the pocket if someone so much as _breathed_ on it. "I HATE THIS GAME!"

LeBlanc had not missed a single shot yet. The other Noxians suspected foul play, but there was no way to prove it.

The Deceiver smirked and knocked the cue ball into the 8 ball, tipping it into the pocket. Her next shot brought the cue ball to a corner of the table, away from the 9 ball and with no chance of hitting it. Katarina growled and smashed the cue ball with such force that it ricocheted around the table once and flew clean off.

"Penalty… I think." Cassiopeia said, backing up a bit from her sister. Draven retrieved the ball and handed it to LeBlanc. Smirking, the Deceiver placed it right before the 9 ball and knocked it into the pocket. And then the 10 ball. And the 11 ball. And even the 12 ball, before purposely knocking the cue ball in with the 13 ball.

"Oh, oopsy daisy." LeBlanc giggled.

You could practically see the steam rising from the Sinister Blade's head. She hefted her cue stick and cannoned the 14 ball into a pocket, before missing the 15 one completely. She roared and tried to break the stick, but when that didn't work, sunk her teeth into the polished wood instead.

Everyone watched in stunned silence as Katarina went on a ballistic rampage around the room.

"Did she just bite the stick?" Talon whispered to Darius, who nodded back.

"Embarassing." Cassiopeia shook her head.

"YOU CHEATED! YOU SO CHEATED!" Katarina was yelling now.

Swain could only watch in horror as Katarina got closer and closer to the bookcase. "No… No, no, no!"

The books toppled off the shelves as the Sinister Blade whacked it with her cue stick, however the bookshelf itself stayed upright.

It seemed in slow motion as Swain watched _The Demacian Diaries_ fall off with the rest of the books.

All of a sudden, the bookshelf swung around to reveal the monitors that Swain used to watch the very champions who were currently in his room.

Even Katarina stopped as everyone beheld the sight before them.

LeBlanc sidled up to Swain. "Bet that wasn't in your flowchart," She purred.

**A/N: This was supposed to be out 3 weeks ago. Sorry!**

**Going on vacation, probably will be able to update. Although where I'm going, I don't even know if I'll even be able to get **_**on**_** to . And if I can't, I'll have reading material in September, I promise! 3 you guys and the amazing reviews that I get :) makes me want to actually keep writing! **

**~Creator**


	20. Freljordians and Disasters

**Update: 07/01/15**

**Changed Kat calling Swain a pedophile; he is now a sick pervert, because it was messing people up on her lovers age**

* * *

**Chapter 19: Freljordians and Disasters**

"Explain yourself." Cassiopeia hissed, glaring at the monitors. "What is the meaning of this!?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Draven drawled, sauntering in front of the monitors. "Swain wanted to watch Draaaaven! Although," He peered at the other monitors and the labels on them. "Draven is not sure why there are other monitors here for you guys."

"Puh-lease." Katarina scoffed. "It's obviously because Swain is a sick pervert and gets off on watching me screw-"  
"SHHH!" Everyone shushed Katarina, who'd just been about to reveal-

"SHHHH!"

(Sorry! I'll stop almost revealing it now, ok?! Jeez. You Noxians. KATARINA! NO REVEALING MY SHIPS! EVEN IF IT INVOLVES YOU!)

"Wait a second..." Katarina directed her glare to Swain. "How old are you again?"

Swain opened his mouth to say something, but then Darius cut in.

"No, the monitors are to make sure that we are not undertaking any suspicious activity. Such as *cough* screwing The-"

Cassiopeia slapped her tail over Darius's mouth.

(Darius. I will wrought upon you the fury of a thousand pissed off League of Legends Fanfiction writers if you do that again!)

Talon watched the monitors and then frowned. "Why is mine zoomed in so much on my tv?"

Sure enough, the monitor dedicated to spying on Talon's room was focused solely on his enormous flat-screen tv.

"... You're the only one who watches TVD." Swain responded. "Other than me, of course..."

In his head, he was thinking, '_and the only one who doesn't ship Steroline. What an idiot. They are obviously meant for each other.'_

(Steferine all the way, ok? My personal opinion. Katerina/Katherine is the best 3)

"OK. SSSSSTOP." Cassiopeia hissed, glaring at everyone, eyes glowing an acidic green.

She turned to Swain. "This is a severe invasion of our privacy, and not something that will go unpunished by the League! In fact." She grinned, a feral, evil expression to rival her sister's.

"I think we should deal the first punishment."

The Noxians all readied their weapons as they glared at Swain.

LeBlanc was the only one who remained silent, something not completely unnoticed by the others.

Swain nevously gulped and locked eyes with The Deceiver. "Evaine, help me!"

LeBlanc stared blankly at the Master Tactician and then vanished in a cloud of smoke.

Swain cursed. "THE CLONE!? REALLY!?"

**Meanwhile...**

"Wow, your room is really nice." Leona said approvingly.

Ashe raised an eyebrow. "You've been here before. What's so exciting?"

"... Riiiiight."

The Frost Archer sat down on her couch. "So, who are you hiding from this time?"

**5 minutes later...**

"You are soooo screwed." Ashe laughed.

Leona groaned and flopped onto Ashe's bed, wincing as she landed on something hard.

"Owww... Ashe, what's this in your bed?" The Solari poked at the hard spot. She moved to pull the covers back, but Ashe quickly leapt up and stopped her.

"It's ahh... My uh... A uh... An _arrow!_ Yeah."

"... Why do you have an arrow in your _bed?_"

"Well... Why _don't_ you have an arrow in your bed?"

Leona was about 101% sure that her friend was hiding something, but decided not to press it. After all, she _was_ offering her safe haven from Ezreal.

Something buzzed, and Leona pulled her phone out.

"Oh." She said simple before texting something back, fingers furiously flying across the small screen.

Ashe leaned back into her pillows. "Who is it?" She asked.

"Diana." Leona said simply.

"Wait, I thought you guys were like, mortal enemies?"

Leona then remembered that Ashe hadn't been in that awkward balcony scenario with Piltover's Finest and the Noxians.

"No, it's... Complicated." Leona said evasively.

Ashe was acutely aware that they were both hiding things.

**Dinnertime at the Institute, that evening...**

"Vi."

No answer.

"VI."

"..."

"VI!"

"..."

Caitlyn sighed and took out a minigun, shooting it at the reinforced ceiling with a loud _BANG_. The bullet bounced back down and hit one of Vi's gauntlets with an equally loud _DING_. The bruiser didn't even blink.

The Sheriff sighed once more and resorted to desperate measures.

"*ahem*. Your Majesty." Ever since the evening before, Vi had been parading around their room with her crown. Which had prompted Caitlyn to jokingly call her 'Your Majesty'.

Vi had taken it to heart.

"Huh?" The Enforcer looked up. "Oh, hey, Cupcake! Didn't notice you there!"

And it was the truth. Vi actually hadn't noticed.

Caitlyn rolled her eyes. "Let's go get some food."

"Hold on, let me just finish this chapter."

A trimmed eyebrow rose up. _VI, reading!?_

Tentatively, as if afraid that mentioning it would prove it all to be a dream, Caitlyn asked Vi what she was reading.

"Oh! Well, you told me to go read some Fanfiction, so I did."

"... I didn't actually expect you to- never mind. What fanfiction?"

A smirk. "It's a League of Legends fanfiction. My gosh, you wouldn't _believe_ some of the things written about us..." Vi chuckled.

"Well, what are you reading RIGHT NOW?"

"Oh, the third most followed story on the fanbase. It ships Lux and Riven. Pffft. Can you imagine that?" Vi laughed. "The first most followed is a Yasuo and Riven pairing. Still ridiculous. The second most followed is a Katarina and Ashe fanfiction. Absolutely ludicrous, although it was extremely well written and makes me actually wonder if it could become a thing..." The Enforcer narrowed her eyes at her laptop. "BUT THE AUTHOR NEVER FUCKING FINISHED IT LIKE WHAT THE FLYING FUCK!?"

"..." Caitlyn wasn't really sure what to say.

**Teh mess hall oz doooom**

"Hey, Irelia. Can I ask you a question?" Riven lifted her eyes to those of her girlfriend's.

"Sure."

A smirk. "I already did! Hah!"

Irelia stared at the Exile for a long second, and then finally got it. When she did, her eyes narrowed. "Really, Riven? What an original joke. About as original as your name!"

Riven frowned. "My name _is_ original."

"Have you ever seen Winx Club?"

The Exile was slightly confused at the question. "Can't say I have."

"Don't."

(For those of you who don't get that, I'll have an explanation down in the author's notes)

* * *

"Guys." Shen said, sitting down with Jarvan, Garen, Xin Zhao, Kennen, Jayce, and Ezreal.

"Have you heard about-"

A smooth, deep voice interrupted the Kinkou ninja. "Hello, fellow members of the male species."

Taric had finally returned from Demacia... However, he wasn't quite done with his work just yet.

"I would like to offer a proposal. How would you guys like to..."

The Gem Knight unfurled a scroll of parchment with an elaborate poster on it. "Join the Door Monitors?"

Garen choked on his spaghetti. "The WHAT?"

"The Monitors of Doors." Taric said reverently. The raised eyebrows of the men (and yordle) at the table signaled their confusion and thoughts that Taric had finally gone over the deep end.

"For the doors at the Institute are so _not_ groovy. Wood and steel they may be, but what of the other colors? What of dark mahogany and bright birch? What of oak, with its..."

Taric continued on passionately, his hands gesturing wildly to establish his point.

"... Gems! Glorious gems of all shapes and sizes, so why can doors not be the same? Round, square..."

Xin Zhao yawned and went to get an ice cream. When he came back, Taric was still going.

"... Locks, codes, magic, so many different ways to open them! With all of these things, there are thousands- no, dare I say it," Taric dramatically shaded his eyes from an imaginary sun and swooned. "_Millions_ of possible door combinations..."

Kennen nodded off. When he opened his eyes again...

"... Join now, and we can change the doors of the Institute for the better." Taric finished off, eyes shut and arms raised in the air.

"..."

"So... Any questions?" Taric asked, gazing expectantly ly at those before him.

Jayce had one. "So, who else is in this so-called 'Door Monitors' club?"

Taric clasped his hands together. "Well, for starters, we have the Queen of Freljord. And for another, your sister." He directed at Garen.

The Might of Demacia nearly spat out his frozen yogurt. "So that's what Lux gets up to in her free time..." He whispered.

'_I should join this club to see what my sister is up to...'_ Garen decided at last.

**Later that night...**

"Leona, are you planning to stay the night here?" Ashe asked casually. The Solari looked up.

"Oh, no. I'll be leaving in a sec. I'd originally planned to hole up at Diana's for the day, but she'd been out shopping. I won't be bothering you anytime soon." Leona smiled and then checked her phone. "Ok, time for me to go. Thank you so much for letting me hide here!"

Ashe smiled back. "No problem."

Leona grabbed her sword and shield.

The door shut behind the Solari.

Leona let out a big breath and turned to enter the East Wing and Diana's room.

She was 4 feet away from the door when a sudden golden light blinded her.

"GAH!"

"A taste of your own medicine." Ezreal smirked. "You're coming with me."

Leona frantically blinked, vision clearing to see the blonde explorer stalking down the hallway, gauntlet still raised.

'_Crap. I'm weaker at night...'_ Leona thought, glancing out the nearby window and at the bright moon.

She raised her shield to block a shot from Ezreal, and then threw her sword, wreathed in sunlight, at him. It hit and pulled the armored woman into the Piltovian, knocking them both over in a bright flash of golden light.

Periodic flashes of gold light were the only indication the inhabitants of the East Wing had as to what was happening in the hallway.

* * *

Diana paced impatiently. Where was Leona? Ashe's room wasn't far...

The Scorn of the Moon was getting worried, but only slightly. Perhaps Leona had stopped to get some food?

Highly unlikely.

Moving her pacing from the kitchenette to the foyer, she finally noticed the golden light coming from the crack under her front door.

Diana raised an eyebrow. Golden light?

She quickly grabbed her _khopesh _and darted out her door just in time to see Ezreal use his magic to bind Leona, in a similar way to Morgana and Lux.

'_Huh. Didn't know the twerp could do that.'_ Diana thought as she unleashed a curved beam of moonlight at the explorer and then quickly rushed to him, deflecting one of his shots with her curved blade. A foot launched out and nailed Ezreal right in the groin. The Prodigal Explorer merely grunted and kept attacking, barely fazed. This was why it paid to have padded pants.

'_Pfft. Always knew he had small- HEY!'_ Diana thought, as Ezreal trapped her in a similar contraption to Leona. However, Leona's was wearing off... Something Ezreal had yet to notice.

The Scorn of the Moon growled and blasted Ezreal with a wave of moon energy, sending him reeling back... Right into Leona.

The Solari glared at him and blasted him as well, however with the sun's energy. Again. And again. And again.

They didn't actually use their blades, as that would actually hurt him. This would only... Burn him, at worst.

Finally, clothes smoking and a dazed look in his eyes, Ezreal fell to the ground, mumbling something about, "The moon is cheese... The moon is cheese... The sun is a giant bouncy ball wheeeee..."

Diana felt the last of her bonds fall away and ran to Leona.

"Must you always need me to play saviour?" The Lunari smirked.

Leona glared at her. "I had everything under control."

"Mhmm. Sure you did."

**The next morning...**

Elise yawned and stretched her limbs. A spiderling crawled up to her and she petted it, grabbing a box to give it a treat.

The Spider Queen looked up from her morning routine at a knock on her door.

Curious at who could possibly be looking for her this early in the morning, she opened the door.

At her feet was a small, trembling box.

An eyebrow raised as deceitfully delicate hands scooped the box up. Elise closed the door and set the box on top of a table. There was a note attached to it.

_Happy Snowdown!_

_~The Institute of War_

Elise was slightly amused. Snowdown Eve wasn't for another 3 days.

But whatever, a present was a present!

She vaguely wondered if Wukong or Jinx or someone was playing a prank on her and the box was actually loaded with highly explosive stink bombs or something like that, but her hands were already opening the box.

Well, it _was _explosive.

A small, fluffly, adorable little poro exploded out of the open lid and onto Elise, licking her like a dog. The Spider Queen lifted the little bundle of Snowdown Joy away from her face and picked up yet another note inside of the box.

_To Elise,_

_For Snowdown, every champion will be recieving their very own poro! You are expected to care for it as you would yourself... Or at least just very well._

_Your poro may have a tendency to mimic you or take on either your physical or personality traits, or maybe even both. _

_Do be careful!_

_~The Institute of War_

Elise was overjoyed. She looked over at the 5 enormous fake stuffed poro's in the corner.

"I guess I won't be needing you anymore!" She smirked.

**Meanwhile...**

Ashe hummed to herself as she brushed her new poro's hair. Already, the fur atop its head was starting to grow more quickly, the color the same shade as Ashe's snowy hair.

BZZZ! BZZZ!

The Frost Archer set down the brush and checked her phone, smiling.

The_Demacian_Poro: OMG ASHE DID YOU GET A PORO TOO!?

QueenOfAshes: Yes

The_Demacian_Poro: IT'S PERFECT! WE CAN CUDDLE THEM WHILE WE STREAM SEASON 3!

QueenOfAshes: Ooo, sounds good!

The Freljordian set the phone back onto the table and went back to brushing the poro's hair.

"What should I name you... Oo, I know, how about-"

She was interrupted by a banging on her door.

Wondering who could possibly at her door this early in the morning, Ashe walked over and opened it.

Caitlyn stood there, smiling sheepishly, Akali and Riven right behind her.

"Teensy problem. Remember how we temporarily de-activated the portal last week to get rid of Sejuani?"

Ashe nodded, noting the angry, murderous looks in the eyes of the assassin behind the Sheriff and the cold, dangerous look in the Exile's.

"Well uh... I forgot to charge the battery. I checked this morning... It's at 2%... Which means that the portal will be activating in approximately," Caitlyn checked her watch. "42 minutes."

And then the looks on the faces behind Caitlyn made sense.

**A/N: CHALLENGE AHEAD!**

**That's right, I doubled the chaos with the poro's and then tripled it with the return of the Freljordites. You're welcome.**

**Challenge: ****I dunno, I've had some pretty interesting guesses for the identity of Katarina's girl/boyfriend. Let's see if any of you can get it right. If you need hints, I will upload a deleted segment from this chapter which maaaaay help a bit. Shouldn't be that hard... Right? If I say anything else, it will give it away. **

**Ok! The WINX CLUB reference. No, I did not watch the show *shivers* I used to, as a kid. But anyways, I typed the name Riven into google and it turns out that the boyfriend of one of the girls (Musa i think?) is named Riven. So yeah, shocker. **

**But anyhoo, keep being awesome, guys! Cya next time!**

**~Creator0fWords**


	21. Bonus Clip: Poro's

**Please read...**

**This isn't chapter 20, nor a deleted segment like the last time. Because the other deleted scenes would give things away, and because I don't want to do that. So instead, here is a bonus segment about the new poro's!**

**You might be wondering why I'm doing this. Well, it's my birthday, and I wanted to get something out :) yes, maybe I should have held off on posting chapter 19 until it was my birthday if I wanted to post something on it, but you know... I'm impatient :P**

**So, enjoy!**

* * *

**Bonus Clip- Poro's**

"Hey, Diana. Did you happen to get one of these…?" Leona wondered, holding up her little poro to her girlfriend's face.

Diana raised an eyebrow. "Did you not read the letter? It clearly said that all champions would receive a poro… Although I sincerely hope that does not include the Voidborn or the ones who are kept locked up. Especially Kog'Maw."

"Huehue… I knew that." Leona smiled sheepishly, stepping into Diana's room.

"But look! My poro can do a trick already! Show her, Sunny!"

The poro's eyes started glowing a molten gold, the sunlight in the room seeming to become brighter and envelope the small furry body.

In a radiant outburst of golden sunlight, the light disappeared, leaving Sunny holding...

"A sunflower!" Leona beamed. "The flower of the sun! And Sunny has learned how to use it already!" The Solari stroked her little pet's fur, and it nuzzled into her hand, big tongue licking her happily. Giggling, the Radiant Dawn set her down on the kitchen counter.

Diana decided not to say anything about how stupid the poro looked holding a large sunflower.

"Well, Luna here can do stuff as well. Show her, girl!" The Scorn of the Moon said, setting her own poro next to Leona's. On the middle of its forehead, a crest depicting an upside down crescent hugging a sphere matched Diana's own.

The poro squeezed its eyes shut in concentration, tongue sticking out the side of its mouth. It grunted, and then…

"PFFFFFT!"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Uh, Di, did your poro just uh… Cut the cheese?" Leona slowly backed away from the table. "What an amazing trick…?"

Sunny inched away from her companion.

Diana groaned. "Luna! Do not fucking _fart _in front of our guests! And _no _that is_ not _her trick!"

The Scorn of the Moon picked Luna up by the (well, do poro's even have necks…?) body/neck, held her at eye level, and stared intimidatingly into the poro's silver eyes.

"No. Treats. For. You."

The eyes of the poro widened. It's mouth opened. And then…

"RAAAAAAAAAH!"

It screamed and glowed silver, the light growing brighter, and brighter, and brighter until Diana was forced to drop the poro to shield her eyes. Leona didn't dare raise her shield and reflect the light, so she turned away as well.

_POOF!_

"… What the heck…?" Came a voice from behind Leona and Diana.

Not quite sure what to expect, the two turned to see the Lady of Luminosity standing in the room, a toothbrush in one hand, a tube of toothpaste in the other, and a blue-eyed poro on her head.

They stared at each other. Diana finally broke the stare-down to look at Luna, who was perched on the ground by Lux's feet, looking quite proud of herself.

"Luna… Do not fucking summon other champions to our room in front of guests!" The Scorn of the Moon scolded. Luna stared back at Diana.

"…" The poro said.

"I don't care if it was accidental or Lux only ended up here because of the light and the fact that she is a light mage!"

"…"

"No, this does not mean that you can have treats."

Luna's eyes widened, her mouth opened, and then…

"RAAAAAAAAAH!"


	22. Revenge and Reveals

**The poro's clip is not canon with this. Just an FYI!**

* * *

**Chapter 20: Revenge and Reveals**

"Oh my god Caitlyn... I want to murder you." Ashe seethed, glaring at the Sheriff and very clearly remembering that night when the Piltovian had assured them that she'd charged the device. Along with Akali stopping Riven from strangling Caitlyn (which Riven was very tempted to do right now as well, although this time Akali wouldn't stop her), and her own threat for Caitlyn to never make light of serious matter ever again.

Behind Caitlyn, Akali raised an eyebrow and whispered to Riven, "That doesn't sound like Ashe at all."

"Yeah, I know right." Riven whispered back. "She's sounding like-"

"I WANT TO RIP YOUR HEAD OFF, BOIL IT, AND FEED IT TO KOG'MAW!" Ashe screeched uncharacteristically, all traces of her usual calm and queen-ish demeanor gone. Right now, before her friends, she was no more than a 20-something female who's biggest rival was about to come charging onto the scene very shortly. "I WANT TO SHOVE AN ARROW SO FAR UP YOUR ASS THAT YOU WON'T EVER BE-"

"-Sejuani." Akali and Riven finished in unison, both noting the irony.

"- DON'T YOU THINK THAT JUST BECAUSE IT WORKED OUT WELL _ONE TIME_-"

Caitlyn seemed to shrink under the verbal barrage that the Queen was launching her way, while Akali and Riven seemed more concerned for the Queen herself.

Riven leaned in to whisper to Akali again. "Either Ashe has been possessed by Mordekaiser or one of his shades, she _is_ one of said shades, or..."

"She's on her period." They finished together once again.

Ashe whipped her head their way. "What are you two whispering about back there?!"

"Uh... Breakfast...?" Riven lied. Caitlyn was grateful for the pause in Ashe's rant.

The Frost Archer raised an eyebrow and then rested both hands on her hips. "Breakfast." She repeated disbelievingly. "You're talking about _breakfast_ when my people are going to be returning in 42 minutes."  
"37 minutes at this point..." The Sheriff of Piltover muttered quietly.

"Well, they aren't all _your_ people..." Akali said. "Some of them are Sejuani's. And Lissandra's. And- I'll shut up now." The Ionian relented under Ashe's piercing glare. All of a sudden, the Frost Archer's hands moved from her hips to her midsection and she groaned.

"I'll be right back..."  
And with that, Ashe rushed back into her room.

Riven sighed. "Well, mystery solved. At least Ashe isn't a shade. Or possessed."

Caitlyn, who had heard all of her companion's whispering while she was being verbally assaulted, snorted. "I don't know which is worse, to be honest. I think I'd actually prefer the shade."

**Meanwhile...**

Soraka looked up disbelievingly. "You can't be serious..."

"Poro poro!" Her new pet bounced up and down on the table before the Starchild.

The Ionian sighed and opened the door. "Please fill-"

She stopped speaking once she realized that there was no one there. On a hunch, she looked down.

"... Swain?"

The Master Tactician shakily held up a piece of paper, which Soraka grabbed and read over, finally looking up (or down) and fixing Swain with a disbelieving stare.

"Angry Noxian, hmm?"

"Angry Noxian_s_." He corrected in a whisper. Sighing in pity, Soraka used her magic to lift the Noxian onto one of the unoccupied cots.

Ezreal looked over at his new companion and cracked a grin at Swain's misfortune.

At that moment, Miss Fortune happened to barge into the infirmary, holding an unconscious Ahri.

Soraka looked up at the interruption and quickly levitated the fox onto another bed. Ezreal noted that is was the recently vacated one, which had held a concussioned Jinx for a couple of days.

"Sarah, what happened?" The Starchild demanded, noting that the redhead hadn't bothered to fill out the form.

"I don't know! She ran to my room all anxious and confused, told me that she was pregnant and then fainted!" Sarah Fortune explained quickly, rather flustered.

The Prodigal Explorer raised an eyebrow, and then lowered it when the movement hurt his face too much.

"Uh... Ok... So I think she'll be fine then..." Soraka said slowly. "Uh, you can go back to whatever you were doing. I will notify you when she wakes up."

The Bounty Hunter nodded and exited the room.

Soraka sighed and started tending to Swain's various wounds, which had been made worse by the fact that he'd obviously dragged himself to her all the way from the North Wing.

"Poro! PORO!" Soraka's poro squeaked, jumping up and down. "PORO!"

"Go find some food! I'm sorry Star but I'm busy!" The Starchild called out regretfully. The poro didn't seem mad, but jumped down and squeezed out the door through the small opening that Miss Fortune had left.

**The Library...**

"Hello Vi, what are you reading?" A voice asked, peering over the Enforcer's shoulder.

Vi glanced up. "Oh, hi Diana." And then the memories of the awkward balcony scene from the Ball entered Vi's mind. The Piltovian colored red.

Diana glared at her. "You can't be serious. That was two days ago. And you and Caitlyn were just as bad."

Vi sighed. "Truuuue..."

"What are you reading?" Diana asked again once the Enforcer turned her attention back to her phone.

"Oh, some Fanfiction."

The Lunari perked up. "League of Legends Fanfiction?"

Vi looked up again. "You read it?"  
Smirking, the warrior sat down next to Vi. "Sometimes. Gods, the things they write about us..."  
"I know right?!"

Diana chuckled. "Anyways, I heard you were digging for some information."

"..."

"About Katarina's love life."

"... Ohhhhhh! Yeah. I think I got it though." Vi grinned proudly. "But I still need to ask Ashe something."

"Why Ashe?" Diana asked confusedly.

"Well..." Vi thought for a second. "Earlier, she was acting strange when Cait and I were looking at some things and trying to figure it out. She told us to rule Sejuani out, but wouldn't tell us why. You know, we were planning to ask her at the Ball. We actually mistook you for her..."

Diana looked as if Vi had answered one of her questions. "So that was why you and Caitlyn came out onto the balcony! Usually no one goes out that early, unless..." She trailed off.

The Enforcer decided not to push it. "Yeah... Well, I haven't found the time or opportunity to ask Ashe yet, so..."  
"What if it _is_ Ashe?" The Scorn of the Moon speculated.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"AHAHAHAHAHA!" They burst out laughing together, much to the annoyance of Ryze and Shen, who were sitting on the other side of the library.

"That's a good one, Di!" Vi wiped a tear from her eye. "Oh, I haven't had such a good laugh since I read that one Fanfiction..."

Diana managed to contain her laughter. "Alas, Wounded will never happen. _Can_ never happen."

"Mhmm. Sad but true. Let's go find Ashe."  
"Sounds good."

**Meanwhile...**

Ashe had finally calmed down, and now stood with Caitlyn, Riven, and Akali by the front doors, bow slung over her back.

"This is the worst idea anyone has ever had." Akali muttered.

"HAHAHA! RIGHT WHERE I WANT YOU!"

The Fist of Shadow turned around to see Veigar, wearing a santa hat and fake beard, hopping around shooting his 'Event Horizon' every once in a while, decorations and trees springing up.

"... Besides whoever thought _that_ was the best way to decorate the Institute..." The Ionian relented.

Nidalee was trying to walk down to the training rooms, but got caught and immobilized in the yordle's magic. Hissing, she shifted into her cougar form, which didn't help matters. Finally, she let out a loud yowl, a burst of green light radiating out from her as she broke free and ran away, growling what were definitely not compliments about Veigar's choice of light colors.

"Seconded..." Riven said. "Now can we please move away from the entryway? The Freljordians will be back any minute now..."  
Caitlyn nodded mutely, and Ashe rolled her eyes. "Go _where_?"  
"..."

Indeed, if they went any direction right now they would run into Veigar's magic and be immobilized like Nidalee.

Elise was crawling around on the ceiling in spider form, hissing about champions getting caught in the 'Event Horizon's' like flies in a spiderweb. Or in this case, _many_ spiderwebs.

A flash of silver light and a cursed, "Fuck you, Shorty!" had the 4 champions turning towards the hall that led to the recreational rooms.

Diana had smashed through many of the barriers, Vi in her wake.

"Hey Cupcake!" The Enforcer waved, and Caitlyn hesitantly raised her hand back, glancing out of the corner of her eye at Ashe.

Riven was eyeing the spot from where Diana had just come from. "SALVATION!"

She ran towards it, only to hear someone yell, "HEY!"

The passage became cloaked once again by trees and strings of lights.

The Exile fell to her knees, head in her hands. "No... No... NOOOOO!"

Akali glanced at her quizzically but was more intent on the conversation behind her.

"Ashe, we need to ask you a question." Vi said excitedly. "Don't be afraid of telling us. But... What do you know about Katarina's relationships?"

Ashe froze ever so slightly. "What do you mean? Um... Cassiopeia is her sister, Talon is her foster brother, Swain is her-"  
"No, we meant her love life. _Those_ kinds of relationships." Diana interrupted.

Caitlyn finally caught on. "Vi, you can't be serious. I thought you'd given up on that when we mistook Diana for Ashe..."

Vi snorted. "Cupcake, if you'd been bothered to hear my amazing theory yesterday instead of sleeping, then you wouldn't be saying that."

"I-"

"SHH!" Diana hissed. "Stop arguing! Now, Ashe." The Lunari turned to the Queen, who backed up a step at the predatory stare directed her way.

"What does Sej-"

The door opened and all eyes turned towards it.

Ashe opened her mouth in shock. "Tr-Tryndamere?!"  
Her husband smiled back and started walking towards her. "Hey Ashe! You wouldn't believe-"  
"Tryn. Be quiet for a second. Is Sejuani behind you?"

The Barbarian King looked surprised at the question and slightly miffed at the interruption. "Well, we were all-"

_CRASH!_  
"BITCH NOXIAN! ASHE!" Sejuani screeched as she knocked the front doors of the Institute down, Bristle and Snowflake nowhere to be seen. Diana quickly threw up a shield, aided by Riven. It wasn't that strong, as they didn't specialize in defensive abilities and Riven could only shield up to two people, but it was enough to stop them from being crushed. The remains of the door surrounded the champions.

"Fucking shit. Rat's balls." Ashe cursed, to which Tryndamere looked at her questioningly out of the corner of his eye.

_'Since when does my wife ever speak such vulgar words?'_ He wondered.

Sejuani looked up, frosty blue eyes bright and blazing. As expected, they latched onto the Frost Archer.

"Ashe." She hissed menacingly, starting forward.

"RUN LIKE HELL!" Someone yelled, although no one was sure who.

Vi grabbed Caitlyn and started towards the room halls, Diana ran down the recreations hallway closely followed by Riven, while Ashe tailed Akali down the middle, which led to the mess hall.

Not surprisingly, Sejuani charged after Ashe.  
Tryndamere was left standing alone where, seconds ago, his wife had been right next to him along with the other 5 champions. He watched in stunned shock as the champions forced their separate ways through Veigar's magic.

Nunu, seated on Willump, ran up to him. "What happened?"

"... I'm not quite sure..."

* * *

Akali glanced behind her and swore.

Of all the people she could follow, why had Ashe chosen her?!

"Fuck!" The Fist of Shadow swore, ripping through the Snowdown decorations and dark magic with her kama's as fast as she could.

"She's gaining! Akali, cut faster!" Ashe yelled.

"I'M TRYING TO!"

Akali could hear a _thud _and roar of frustration from behind her.

Risking a quick glance back, she saw that Ashe must have launched one of her enchanted arrows, for there was a thick sheet of ice behind them now.

Ashe swore. "I need to channel my magic for another one. That's the only one we'll be getting for a while!"  
Hearing this, the Ionian threw one of her kama's, clearing out a whole row of lights and also hitting Elise on the head. The Spider Queen hissed and a few spiderlings started crawling towards the struggling pair, exploding and clearing even more of the dark magic out of the way.

"FUCK YOU ALL!" Sejuani roared as she smashed through the wall of ice that Ashe had put up.

"Ok! I was going to try diplomatically reasoning with that pig, but I'm throwing that out the window!" Ashe growled, firing an arrow at her rival. Had Sejuani not been wearing armour, she would've been dead. Instead, the ice spread over her chestpiece and down her arms, temporarily slowing down the Winter's Wrath as she attempted to break free.

Finally, Akali and Ashe stumbled into the open, right by the mess hall. They ran inside, where some champions were still enjoying their breakfast.

Leona looked up, poro on her head. "Hey guys! Have you seen those ridiculous lights that Veigar is putting up?" The Solari laughed. "I got caught in at least 5 of those already!"

Then she saw the looks on her friend's faces. "Guys?"

"Se-Sejuani!" Akali gasped, getting ready to fight.

Leona's eyes widened and she quickly grabbed her sword and shield as the Winter's Wrath emerged from the hallway and into the mess hall.

"Ashe. Underhanded tactics can only get you so far. Relinquish the Freljord to me, and I'll forget it, just this once!" Sejuani growled.

"Me? Relinquish the Freljord to _you_? Why would I do that?" Ashe answered back, nocking an arrow.

Her rival sneered. "I know that it was you that blocked the portal and locked me up in the Freljord. Now, last chance. Step down as Queen, and I'll forget you using such a cowardly, weak trick."

Well, Sejuani wasn't completely daft.

"..."

"So be it." The boar-rider snarled and charged for Ashe. Leona dove in front of the Queen, blocking with her shield, which only enraged Sejuani even more. She swung the flail again.  
It was morning, and a holiday. Leona wasn't wearing her armour, which proved to be a _very_ bad thing.

_CRUNCH!_

The Solari warrior fell to the ground a few feet away, clutching her broken arm.

Some champions in the hall fled, some kept eating their breakfast, unwilling to get caught in this conflict which had nothing to do with them, some not caring.

Ashe looked down at Leona and whispered her apologies, but the Radiant Dawn was in too much pain to hear.

Akali rushed for Sejuani as Ashe launched another arrow, freezing Sejuani's left arm.

The Fist of Shadow flailed her kama's, but Sejuani managed to parry with her flail, which was in her right hand. Another arrow froze that arm as well.

Ashe wasn't shooting fast or unleashing a volley for fear of hitting Akali; another mistake.

The Winter's Wrath broke free of the ice and threw her bola at the ninja, freezing her in the middle of a throw. However, the projectile was already on course, and collided against Sejuani's helmet (it really seemed to like hitting her there...), knocking the Freljordian back a few steps.

Ashe prepared to launch a volley, but Sejuani knocked her bow out of her hands and delivered a solid punch to the Queen's face, sending her crashing into a table.

Thresh stroked his lantern. "I may have a new soul for you soon..." He cooed.

"Ungh..." Ashe groaned as she lifted herself up, face throbbing. Her hand feebly groped for Leona's discarded sword, lying inches away from her fingertips.

Sejuani kicked it away and then howled in pain. Turning angrily, she spotted Leona with an outstretched hand, eyes blazing as she blasted Sejuani again with the sun's energy.

Another cry of pain, and then the Winter's Wrath stomped over and knocked out the Solari out with a painful blow to the head. She returned to Ashe.

Pained blue eyes met icy blue orbs. Sejuani smiled, a slow predatory grin as she drove her foot into Ashe's stomach, the Avarosan unable to cry out due to the air being shoved out of her lungs.

Before she could recover, the Frost Archer was picked up by her cape and flung into another table.

"Poro! Poro!" Star yelled angrily, looking up from her banana.

Both Freljordians ignored the poro, and Sejuani loomed over Ashe once again.

"Ha! Weak bitch, you can't even fight back! Look at you, the 'Queen', at my mercy." She laughed. "Pathetic."

_CLANG!_

"Step away from her." A voice growled from behind the Winter's Wrath.

Ashe craned to see over Sejuani's shoulder, and her face paled even more. "... No..."

**(Ok, I was seriously tempted to just leave the chapter off here, but I'll be nice.)**

Donut in one hand, dagger in the other, Katarina glared at Sejuani with the fury of a thousand pissed off KatAshe shippers. Such fury only came forth when one saw a AshexTryndamere ship, or a KatarinaxGaren ship, or even sometimes a-

**(I'll stop right there lest I risk offending even more people.)**

Emerald eyes sharpened to flint. "I said, step away from her."

Sejuani sneered. "Bitch Noxian. Come to fight me like a woman?"  
Thresh stroked his lantern again. "I may have _two_ souls for you soon~"

The Noxian didn't reply, instead she tossed aside her donut and launched a barrage of daggers, all of which caught Sejuani on the armour but didn't pierce through.

The Winter's Wrath charged, swinging her flail which Katarina nimbly dodged, if only barely. The Sinister Blade drew her two long blades and tried to stab Sejuani, only for the Freljordian to parry in a similar fashion as she did to Akali.

But Katarina had more incentive than Akali. Growling with fury, the anger pouring off of her almost palpable, Katarina ducked under Sejuani's next swing and kicked off of her opponents chest, driving at least three of the previously thrown daggers through the armour.

The Freljordian growled in pain, blood dripping onto the floor slowly. She hadn't been wounded that badly, merely angered even more. Ashe knew that Katarina had no chance of winning this fight. Sure, maybe if Sejuani wasn't equally pissed off, but...

It was like watching a cartoon almost, Sejuani akin to a cat swiping for a mouse which kept dodging and avoiding her blows.

Until she landed a hit on said mouse.

The Sinister Blade flew across the room and hit the wall next to Ashe, falling to a heap on the floor.

Panting and sporting many new cuts and bruises on her face, Sejuani stalked towards the pair.

Eyes wide, Ashe quickly ran through prayers to whatever Gods she could think of.

Only divine intervention could save them now.

"HRAAAAH!"

Golden light exploded in a halo around Katarina, and then Kayle descended in all of her divine and righteous fury upon Sejuani.

_'Wow, I didn't expect for divine intervention to actually...'_ Ashe marveled through the haze of pain in her body. But she wasn't about to question it. After all, when life gives you lemons, you-

The Frost Archer shut her train of thought off right there.

Kayle and Katarina quickly managed to subdue Sejuani with magic, swords, knives, and nimble wingwork (is that even a thing? Like, footwork, but with wings instead?). Kayle also had the advantage of not being tired and wounded, as well as armour... Unlike the previous champions before her.

The Judicator touched down onto the ground before Sejuani, who was groaning in pain. Katarina was smiling and slowly limping over to Ashe.

"Sejuani, The Winter's Wrath." Kayle's voice boomed. "For the attempted murder of 2 champions, along with the injury of 2 others, you are hereby confined to the League prison for 1 month."

The League prison, for those who don't know, is basically time-out. You stay there for the duration of your sentence, unable to leave or participate in League matches. But the main punishment is having to be in the vicinity of the confined champions. They say that Rek'Sai snores louder than a drunk Gangplank attempting to seduce Miss Fortune.

Katarina finally reached Ashe's side and knelt down next to her. "Are you ok?"

The Queen smiled and reached for her savior's face. "Thanks to you, Kat."

At that moment, Vi, Diana, Caitlyn, and Riven made their way into the mess hall. They stopped in shock at what they beheld.

"Holy shit..." Diana breathed. "Ashe and Katarina really _are_ dating?!"

Vi shook her head in disbelief. "No... They can't be... They..." Her eyes widened as she witnessed Katarina and Ashe k-

Caitlyn gasped.

Diana covered her eyes.

Riven smiled.

_'Well, at least she's finally gotten over me...'_ The Exile thought happily.

Thresh, however, was angry.

"I'm sorry... It doesn't look like there will be any souls for you today..." He apologized to his lantern.

"Poro! Poro!" Star exclaimed when Soraka walked into the scene. Her eyes widened.

"Stars help us!" She exclaimed.

**A/N:  
AshuraX, I'll be taking that cookie now ;) **

**Thanks guys for leaving me off at 69 followers xD **

**Dunno if you guys noticed, but I have a new story up. The Institute of Love and Lies, exclusively for my shipping needs. Don't like yuri ships? Probably shouldn't read it... **

**I've been avoiding this, but... Yeah. KatxAshe. Don't like it? You don't have to, but this isn't meant to be a shipping story (unlike TIOLL ^), so it won't really impact anything. I think. And I'm not apologizing. This is MY story, after all! The only liberty I have here is that I can choose what ships to put in T_T**

**Seriously though, writing it isn't that hard. It's posting the next chapter that's hard. I never know how it'll be received... **

**I'm glad some people actually got it right, and that someone actually found all the little hints I've been dropping! Emccall, nicely done! **

**Gentleman Gnar, don't worry! He'll be popping in next chapter :) **

**So guys, thanks for the amazing reviews and the follows and the favs :D Makes me happy :D :D :D**

**As always, stay awesome, and I'll see you all next time!  
(PS: R&amp;R ALWAYS WELCOME PEEPS!)  
(PPS: I HAVE A NEW THING ON THE BOTTOM OF MY PROFILE: STORY STATUS'S)  
~Creator0fWords**


	23. Noxians and Deceptions

**Now I know what you're thinking...  
CREATOR YOU HO WHERE HAVE THE UPDATES BEEN AT?!  
The ho would like to apologize and present you with a much longer chapter than usual. The ho would also like to say that the chapter will not be 8000 words, as this is not TIOLL. The ho will now stop talking so you can read the chapter.  
**

* * *

**Chapter 21: Noxians and Deceptions**

**The infirmary...**

"Sometimes, I really hate my job..." Soraka grumbled to herself as she beheld the various injured champions before her, turning to go back into her office.

Akali was still shivering from being turned into an ice statue by Sejuani while glaring at the Freljordian.

Ashe was staring up at the ceiling with a blank expression on her face.

Katarina was muttering a mantra of curse words under her breath while stealing glances at Ashe and sometimes even Swain. Although the latter was always accompanied by a satisfied smirk.

Leona had her arm in a sling and was being babysat by a worried Diana, who refused to leave her bedside. ("Diana, I think that's enough water... And where did you get all that ice!? I don't need it!)

Sejuani herself was unconscious. Probably for the best.

Ezreal woke up from his nap. "... Whoa, what happened here?"

"Sejuani happened." Diana explained while packing more ice onto Leona's arm. "She tried to kill Ashe or something and then ended up injuring 4 champions." She glanced over to the cot by the window, where a certain nine-tailed fox was sound asleep, "by the way, why is Ahri here?"

"Ahri claims that she's pregnant." Ezreal answered. "And Sejuani is one scary-ass mothafucka."

"Not sure about the 'motherfucker' part, but she was scary." Akali said quietly. She shivered violently as she felt a cold breeze blow in from the open window.

**Meanwhile...**

"Something doesn't add up." Vi said simply to Caitlyn, who sighed and rolled her eyes.

"Drop it, Vi. There's no more to the story. Katarina and Ashe are dating PERIOD... And Ashe is also _on_ her period..." She tacked on as an afterthought.

"Well, yes, but something still doesn't add up..."

The Sheriff of Piltover groaned and chucked a pillow at the Enforcer. "DROP. IT."

_Knock! Knock!_

Vi crossed the room to the door and flung it open. "What do y- JINX YOU LITTLE FUCKER!"

The Loose Canon smiled and danced out of reach of the Enforcer, sticking her tongue out. "Hi Fat Hands! Look who's out of Pony Lady's hospital!"

Vi growled. "And look who's going back _into_ Pony Lady's hospital!" she grabbed the gauntlets sitting by the door and shoved her hands into them. "You."

Jinx plastered on a hurt expression- or she tried to. It came out looking more like she'd swallowed one of Zed's shurikens. "Aw, but Fat Hands! I just wanted to bring you some cupcakes!" a cupcake seemingly materialized out of nowhere into her hand.

Caitlyn, who had been silently watching the exchange until now, narrowed her eyes. "Hey, wait... Those are _my_ cupcakes!" She grabbed her rifle. "VI! GET HER!"

**A theater on the 3rd floor...**

"We welcome back our members to yet another meeting of the _**G.A.Y O.T.C**_ club!" Jarvan IV declared. "Today, we will be discussing some recent news..."

**Minutes later...**

"And that is why yet another 5 champions are in the infirmary." Tryndamere finished.

Yasuo raised his hand. "Tryndamere, shouldn't you be more worried about the obvious fact that your _wife_ is both gay and cheating on you?"

Tryndamere looked over at Yasuo and shrugged. "So? I've cheated on her too. She knows. And Ashe is not lesbian, she is bisexual." The barbarian finished off matter of factly.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Wow, such an open relationship..." Darius whispered to Garen, who nodded back.

"Yes. Such a thing is not allowed in Demacia."

"Ah, well it is... Uncommon in Noxus."

Tryndamere shifted uncomfortably in his seat as he felt the weight of many pairs of eyes on him.

Kennen elbowed Shen. "Shen! Do something! This is getting awkward!"

The ninja started. "Wha? Oh... Er..." He stood up. "DRINKING CONTEST!"

Pantheon stood up too. "No! Wrestling!"

Lucian wasn't very happy about that. "No!" He objected, "Soccer!"

"SOCCER?!" Urgot shrieked, standing up as best as he could without legs, "OBJECTION!"

"I agree!" Lee Sin called out. "It's not called soccer, it's football!"

"In Demacia, it is called soccer!" Garen called out. "DEMACIA!"

Various side-arguments erupted, with each man/yordle turning to his neighbor to debate the issue at hand.

"In Noxus, it's Draaaaven!" One voice clearly rang out through the theater.

Everyone stopped arguing to look at the speaker.

"What the fuck does that have to do with football?" Veigar squeaked.

"IT'S _SOCCER_, MIDGET!" Someone yelled out.

"FOOTBALL!"

"SOCCER!"

"FOOTBALL!"

"SOCCER! DEMACIAAA!"

**The East Wing...**

"Riven! Where have you been?" Irelia asked, opening the door to her room. The Exile blinked, a goofy smile spreading out across her face as she swept her girlfriend into a deep kiss.

Fiora made a face as she walked by, muttering about "Deesgoosting Noxianz" and "Deesgraceful Eeonians" Under her breath.

(I totally overdid on the accent. Whatevs it's all for teh lolz :P)

Irelia pulled away, sucking air back into her lungs. "... What... Was that for?"

Riven walked into the room and shut the door behind her. "One. I'm glad that I'm alive." She took a step forwards, and Irelia took a step back. "Two. I'm happy that I have you."

Another step forwards, another step back.

"Three. Kat's moved on, which means she won't be making my life a living hell!" The warrior finished, squeezing the Ionian into a tight hug.

"Riven... C-can't... B-b... Breathe..." Irelia choked out.

**The infirmary, 2 hours later...**

There was an awkward silence as the eight conscious champions in the infirmary silently stared each other down. All of them were propped into sitting positions on their respective beds. All of them had glares directed to someone else.

_Clop. Clop. Clop._

The sound of hooves drew closer, and then a door opened.

Soraka stopped short at the tension in the room. Her eyes roved down to the scattered papers on the floor.

Eight pairs of eyes slid over to the Starchild as she bent to pick up one of the papers.

Soraka quickly skimmed over the contents of it. Then she looked up. "What's this?"

Diana, still by Leona's bedside, looked mortified. "You... You don't know what that is?!"

The others in the room all looked equally shocked.

The fallen Celestial slowly shook her head. "No, I don't..."

"Those... Are the spoilers to the season finale of The Culling of the Weak- Disturbance!" Akali explained in a small yet firm voice. "They were left on our beds."

Soraka blinked. "Ok, so...?"

"THE SEASON FINALE ISN'T EVEN OUT YET!" Ahri wailed. "WHOEVER DID THIS IS A MONSTER!"

"... I don't understand." The Starchild said once Ahri had calmed down. "Do you know who did this?"

Everyone shook their heads.

"... They were left on your _beds_... And you don't know who did it."

"Well, they just _appeared_ there. One second the bed was empty, the next... Spoilers." Leona explained.

"Which means that it was either someone with magic." Ezreal growled, glaring at Swain, "Or a Noxian!" Another glare was directed at Katarina.

Both Noxians were angry. "I already told you, it wasn't me!" Katarina hissed.

"I can barely move! How can it have been me?" Swain reasoned.

"You don't have to move to do magic! And I don't believe you!"

Ashe cut in, "Please, let's be reasonable here."

Soraka nodded. "Yes, please."

_'At least Ashe is still being rational!'_ The Starchild thought gratefully.

"It was obviously Sejuani!"

_'I spoke too soon...'_

The Winter's Wrath was still unconscious, or doubtless there would have been a fight.

"She's out cold. I think that it's got to be the only one who isn't injured." Ahri spoke, summoning a blue orb to her hands and glaring at Diana.

"Why are you here again?" The Scorn of the Moon turned to face the fox, "I told you, I didn't do it! Why would I want to ruin the season finale for my girlfriend?!"

"Girlfriend? So _that's_ why you aren't leaving her bedside!" Akali exclaimed.

Everyone in the room turned to her.

"You didn't know?" Swain rasped. "It's been circling the gossip networks since the Ball!"

"Yeah, even Yorick knows. And the Voidlings." Leona added. "Rek'Sai texted me about it."

"Wait, Rek'Sai has a phone?" Asked the Prodigal Explorer.

"... Apparently." Leona replied. They were all interrupted when someone knocked on the door.

The room fell into utter silence except for the sound of Soraka's hooves hitting the marble floor as she walked to the door and opened it.

Miss Fortune took three steps in and stopped. "Whoa... What happened?"

Leona, Diana, Ashe, Katarina, and Akali all pointed at Sejuani, while Ezreal, Ahri, and Swain pointed at the papers on the floor.

The Bounty Hunter stooped down and picked up one of the papers, her aqua-marine eyes scanning the page. She gasped.

"No... This isn't..."

"It is." Chorused eight champions.

_RIP. RIP. RIIIP._

Everyone watched as the pieces of paper slowly fluttered to the floor. Miss Fortune cleared her throat. "So, Soraka. How's Ahri?"

The Starchild blinked. "Hmm? Oh, she's fine. I ran some tests, and she is not bearing child. Which means that she can leave as soon as she wants."

Ahri looked confused. "Wait, so that's why I'm here? You thought I was pregnant?"

The Bounty Hunter crossed her arms. "You ran to my room, banged on my door, told me you were pregnant, and then fainted. So I brought you here."

The Nine-Tailed Fox rubbed her head. "Huh. Must've had one too many Firewaters..."

"... Why did you think you were here?"

"Hm? I don't know, maybe I got attacked by Sejuani as well? Oh well!" The dark-haired succubus chirped. "I'm not leaving until I find out who spoiled the season finale of The Culling of the Weak!"

"Wait. So I dragged you all the way from my room and across the Institute to here, for _nothing?!_"

"Well, not for nothing... You got to find out what happened in the season finale..."

"IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER?!" Sarah Fortune shrieked.

"... Uhhh..."  
"YOU'RE COMING WITH ME!" The enraged redhead growled. She stomped over to Ahri's bed, siezed the fox by the wrist, and _dragged_ her out the door.

"Hnnggh... Hey! Let me gooooo!"

Her cries could be heard long after they left.

Soraka rubbed her eyes. "... I need a vacation..."

"I wonder why she didn't just use her magic to get out..." Akali mused.

"Never mind that, we still need to figure out who wrote these papers!" Katarina said, clenching her hands into fists.

Immediately, six (I know there are seven people. This was done on purpose) voices started flinging accusations at each other and defending themselves/sometimes each other.

"AKALI! OWN UP TO IT!"

" IT WASN'T ME, IT WAS AHRI!"

"SHE'S GONE!"

"DOESN'T MEAN SHE'S INNOCENT!"

"KATARINA, I KNOW YOU DID IT!"

"FUCKING HELL I TOLD YOU I DIDN'T!"

"Ashe is strangely quiet. It's got to be her."

"FUCK OFF SHE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING! WHY DON'T YOU GO SHOVE THAT CAST UP YOUR A-"

"Swain did it! I KNOW HE DID!"  
"Excuse me?! I can't even move!"

"IT WAS EZREAL."

"WHAT?!"

Soraka massaged her temples as the pillows started flying around the room. It was a miracle that Sejuani hadn't woken up yet, even as Diana's pillow missed its mark and pelted the Freljordian in the face. "... Maybe I should've just healed them all immediately... So they can get out of here..."

She glanced over at the door to her office, where inside on the desk, a note from the summoners had told her to treat injuries without her magic to teach restraint and caution to the champions.

The Starchild would eat that paper if it meant erasing its existence.

Just then, there were three knocks on the door.

Mind blank and expression neutral as the champions behind her kept accusing and insulting each other, she opened the door.

Jayce held out a piece of paper to her, as well as an unconscious Jinx.

Soraka stared blankly at him. Just then, the commotion behind her became even louder as Sejuani woke up.

"Where the fu-"

"YOU BITCH! I KNOW YOU DID THIS!"

"Did wha-"

"You just can't stop, can you?"

"How did you even get this information?"

"Wait, I don't even know what you're talking about!"

There was a sound of rustling papers, and then-

"WHO THE FUCK DID THIS?! I WILL FIND THEM AND RIP THEIR HEAD FROM THEIR BODY!"

"OHO! PERFECT! WE'LL BE RID OF YOUR FUCKING ASS THEN!"

"I SAID THAT I DIDN'T. FUCKING. DO IT!"

"Kat, I think she's innoc-"

"Ashe, be quiet and let me give this pig the thrashing it deserves!"

"WHO'RE YOU CALLING 'PIG', YOU WHORE?!"

Soraka dropped to her knees. Star, who'd been hiding under the desk, bounced over to her. "Poro! Poro!"

The Starchild looked at the poro. And then she looked at the desk.

More specifically, she looked _under_ the desk.

Jayce cleared his throat. "Uh, Soraka?"

Soraka ignored him and made her way to the desk. She reached under it and pulled something out.

_WHEEERRRR... WHEEERRRR... RNNNNCHHHHHHHH!_

"ALRIGHT YOU FUCKERS, LISTEN UP!" Soraka shrieked, her eyes unfocused and her grip on the chainsaw tight enough to make her veins pop out.

The various champions in the room halted and looked over at the Starchild in fear.

She'd truly been pushed into the deep end.

**The next day...**

Akali slowly trudged to her room, mind far away as she dragged her feet along the floor.

Soraka had released the champions that morning, if only to get away from them. Each carried a flask filled with a healing brew, which they were to drink once they got back to their rooms (and far away from Soraka).

The ninja stopped before her bejeweled door and set her hand on the doorknob, giving it a sharp twist.

What she saw on the other side was truly unexpected.

"SURPRISE!" Shen and Kennen exclaimed as their fellow Kinkou member stumbled into her room.

Akali blinked. And then a smile grew on her face.

Three poro's, each with an adorable little ninja costume on, were perched on a table in the corner. Everything in the room had been pushed to the sides, making room for the crates in the middle of the room.

It was time.

**10 minutes later...**

"3 fruit combo! +3!" Shen called out. "4 fruit combo! +4! Unbelievable blitz +30!"

Kennen's hand flew furiously across the whiteboard as he tried to keep up with Akali's score.

The Fist of Shadow gripped a katana in her hand as she sliced at the fruits that Shen threw her way. Sweat stung her eyes and fruit juice covered her from head to toe, but she didn't care, even as she stepped into a mushy pile of cut up watermelon.

"Alright! Final fruit!" Shen called as he grabbed a pomegranate out of the crate next to him and lobbed it at Akali. The assassin paused for a second and then let out a piercing cry, dashing forwards and jumping into the air as she brought down the blade she held. In an incomprehensible blur, she sliced the fruit again and again and again until it finally hit the ground in tiny pieces not 5 seconds after it had left Shen's hand.

"36 hits." The Eye of Twilight said to Kennen. Indeed, the Eye saw all. He didn't miss a single sweep of Akali's blade as it cleaved melons and berries in half. He didn't miss it when she twirled and leapt around, gracefully racking up combo's with every movement of her hand. And he most certainly didn't miss it when Akali leapt up to him and kissed him-

wat.

The poro's jumped up and down, most noticeably the one wearing the green ninja outfit as it wagged its tongue and bounced around her companions.

Akali pulled away, blushing profusely. "Thank you so much, Shen. This is exactly what I needed."

**Leona's room...**

"Leona, you should eat something."

"Diana! I've already eaten enough food to feed _KOG'MAW!_ Quit babying me!"

The Scorn of the Moon huffed and crossed her arms. "You need to eat to feel better. Do you want some ice cream? I'll go get some ice cream."

Leona grabbed her arm before she could go to the fridge. "Stop. I'm fine. I'm full. Can you please leave me alone?"

Diana sighed and sat down next to the Solari. "Fine, fine. Do you want to hold your poro? I'll go get your poro."

She danced out of Leona's reach and made for the corner of the room where the poro's were sitting while calling out, "Sunny! Sunny! Come over here, your mommy needs some love!"

**While...**

Riven stared at the poro sitting on her bed. Irelia came into the room behind her, stroking the fur on her own little monster.

"Irelia. What. Is. That."

"Hm? That's a poro, Riven. You know, like the ones on the Howling Abyss? They are native to the Freljord and have horns as well as-"  
"I know what a poro is! But what is it doing here?!"

"Oh, I let it in."  
Amber eyes slid over to the Ionian in the doorway. "What?!"

Irelia shrugged. "The summoners gave them to us yesterday, and yours was still sitting in the box outside your room. So I let it in."

Riven's eye twitched looked back at the poro, which had bounced off the bed and waddled over to her. "Poro! Poro!"

"..."

"Riven?"

"..."

"Poroporoporo!"

"**...**"

Irelia wondered why the Exile was being so silent. In fact, she wondered so hard that she wasn't even paying attention to her surroundings. She came back to the real world, and then realized something.

"Riven! Why are you strangling your poro?!"'

The Ex-Noxian had her hands around the neck (... body... neck... WHATEVER...) of the poro and was squeezing it repeatedly while muttering under her breath. With each squeeze, the poro's brown eyes widened and it squealed, flailing its little limbs around.

"*squeeze* Snowflake...

*squeeze* poro snax...

*squeeze* almost died...

*squeeze* portal...

*squeeze* Sejuani.."

"RIVEN! GIVE ME THAT!" The Ionian shrieked, afraid for the life of the animal as she snatched it away from Riven.

The Exile had a strange look in her eyes. "Get rid of it."

Irelia was confused, "What?"

"I SAID, _GET RID OF IT!_!"

She shuddered violently and then grabbed the poor little animal back, "You know what, I'll do it myself."

The Will of the Blades gasped, "No! Riven, at least give it to someone else!"

Riven thrust it towards Irelia, who shook her head.

"No! Riven, at least give it to someone else who is not me!"

The Exile stormed out of her room and started knocking on her neighbor's door.

**The East Wing, Ashe's room...**

"Ashe."

"..."

"Ashe."

"..."  
"Ashe!"

The Frost Archer finally looked up.

"You've been acting strange lately. What's up?" Katarina asked worriedly as she sharpened her knives on the Queen's sofa, green eyes watching the archer across from her.

Ashe looked back down at her bow, "Hmm? Oh, nothing... I've been acting strange?"

The Noxian narrowed her eyes. "I don't know everything that's going on in your life right now, but you can tell me anything. You know that."

Ashe hummed absentmindedly as she ran a cloth over the curves of the bow. "Yeah, I know."

A few minutes passed in silence, Katarina growing inexplicably more impatient and frustrated with each passing second. She knew that something was wrong, but just couldn't quite put her finger on it. The feeling that Ashe was hiding something from her was also new, as they were usually quite open with each other, not to mention the uncomfortable silence between them right now. Sure, Ashe was called the _Frost_ Archer, but she was acting too cold and distant... Even for her title.

"Ow!"

In a flash, the assassin was beside the archer. "What's wrong?!"

Ashe stared down at her hand, a red line across her palm, "Oh, n-nothing. My hand slipped is all..."

"Your hand slipped." The Sinister Blade repeated, to which the archer nodded, an embarrassed look on her face.

Katarina's suspicion multiplied tenfold. _'Ashe never cuts herself, least of all on her _bow_! She's hardly that careless...!'_

Katarina was determined to get to the bottom of it.

"Ok, Ashe. I know you're hiding something. You're never this careless or distant. Now tell me what's wrong."

The Frost Archer sighed, her blue eyes staring directly into Katarina's jade ones. "I- I've just been thinking a lot lately. What with Sejuani and the others coming back. Speaking of which, I should probably go talk to her..." She moved to get off the couch, but before she could take a step, Katarina's hand flashed out and latched onto her wrist with an iron grip.

"Sit. Down." The assassin growled dangerously, voice dropping an octave.

The Freljordian gulped nervously and did as she was told, sinking into the soft cushions while wishing with all her might that she could just disappear.

"Now why," Katarina started, slipping off her leather gloves, "in the world would you go talk to Sejuani? Have you gone mad? She hates you. She tried to _kill_ you."

Ashe stayed silent.

"Goddammit Ashe! I'm trying to help you here!" The assassin yelled angrily.

"Well, don't. It's none of your business!" The Frost Archer snapped coldly, standing up and going face-to-face with Katarina.

Katarina took a step back and looked away. _'Just what is her problem today?!'_

Seeing that the Noxian looked slightly hurt, Ashe's facial expression softened and she reached out, "Hey... I'm sorry..."

Katarina stayed silent as the Freljordian cupped her cheek. "Kat... I'm sorry..."

She didn't move until Ashe turned her face towards her and leaned in for a kiss.

The Sinister Blade relaxed into the embrace of her lover, but she couldn't help but feel that something was wrong even as Ashe's warm lips moved against her own.-

Wait.

_Warm? _

_'Ashe is never warm...'_

Alarm bells rang in Katarina's head. Strange behavior, warmth...

She wasn't stupid. And so, brain working to figure out what was happening, she came up with a plan.

Pulling away, the Sinister Blade plastered on a smirk as she stared into Ashe's brilliant blue eyes. "So... Where are you taking me on that date you promised?"

Ashe blinked. "D-date?"

Katarina nodded, "Remember? I took you to your favorite Ionian place last last week, and you promised you'd take me somewhere special today."

The Frost Archer laughed nervously. "Oh! Right! Yeah, ok, do you want to go now?"

"Sure."  
Ashe smiled and started walking towards the door. The second her back was turned, Katarina leapt up and shoved her against the wall, knife to throat.

"Who the fuck are you and what have you done with Ashe?!" The assassin hissed, eyes blazing as she dug the point of the knife into the hollow of her victim's throat.

The Freljordian looked terrified, "K-K-Kat? Wha-what are you doing?"

"Cut the shit! There was no date, and I know you're not Ashe! Now, WHERE IS SHE?!"

The terrified expression on Ashe's face disappeared, as well as the Queen herself.

Katarina blinked and then whirled around to come face to face with a woman who was most definitely not Ashe, although she was also wearing a black and gold cloak.

"LEBLANC?!"

The Deceiver smiled. "Hello, Katarina."

The Sinister Blade's face contorted. "I kissed you... Oh my god, I _kissed_ you... Ewwww..." she really wished that she had some mouth wash right now.

LeBlanc was offended. "I happen to be a great kisser, thank you very much!"

Katarina shook her head. "Enough of this! What have you done with Ashe, you creepy bitch?!"

"HAHA! As if I would tell you!" LeBlanc laughed, twirling her staff. "But you know too much. Good night, Katarina!"

The Sinister Blade paused for a second. _'Wait, but it's afternoo- OH SHIT!'_

She barely managed to dodge the chains flying towards her, flipping backwards and over the couch. Using it as a temporary cover, she quickly slid out two of her newly-sharpened knives and jumped up, hurling them towards LeBlanc.

The projectiles sliced through thin air and embedded themselves in the wall.

Katarina had a feeling that LeBlanc was right behind her, and quickly teleported to her knives, yanking them out of the wall.

LeBlanc laughed. "Right where I want you."

The assassin was confused at first, but then cried out in agony as she felt something wind up her leg. It felt like it was on fire. Looking down, she saw a golden chain wrap around her thigh, burning through her leathers wherever it touched.

"You bitch!" Katarina hissed, launching another knife, which missed. LeBlanc was suddenly right beside her, a small smirk on her face. "You missed."

Shrieking in rage, the Sinister Blade shunpo'd to Ashe's coffee table and unsheathed two sabers before leaping at LeBlanc.

_CLANG._

The Deceiver laughed as she parried one weapon with her staff, but forgot about the other until it sliced a cut on her cheek.

"Hey! That's going to take a lot of makeup to cover up!" She complained as she suddenly appeared next to the TV, wiping some of the blood away and glaring at the assassin.

"Oho, you're going to need a whole shit-load of makeup when I'm through with you!" Katarina spun on her heel, knives flying out in every direction.

When she stopped spinning, her lips curled into a smirk. "Too easy."

LeBlanc fell to the floor in a heap, looking like a pincushion. Blood slowly trickled out from her wounds, running onto the floor in little rivulets.

All of a sudden, Katarina found herself sailing across the room and crashing into the wall.

The blood disappeared, as well as the knives that had been stuck in LeBlanc's body, leaving her completely unscathed apart from the cut on her cheek.

She smiled, standing up and brushing herself off. "Surprised to see me?"

Katarina groaned as she slowly picked herself up. "Fuck you." she hissed through gritted teeth, wincing as she tried to stand up straight.

_'Oh god, I think my left leg is broken...'_

Masking the pain as anger, she glared at LeBlanc with as much hate and anger as she could muster, "I don't care if you kill me, but what the fuck have you done with Ashe?!"

"The Frost Archer? She's alive, if that's what you mean." LeBlanc drawled. "But I can't say the same for you."

Golden chains appeared out of nowhere, snaking around Katarina's arms and legs and immobilizing her against the wall.

"The Institute will have your head if you kill me!" The Sinister Blade threatened, pulling in vain at the bonds holding her captive.

A loud and sinister laugh rolled through the room. "My dear, there is no one here to save you, no one here to testify that it was _me_ who killed you. And I can also shield my mind from the summoners quite well."

The golden chains suddenly heated up, and Katarina screamed as she felt them burn her flesh.  
Suddenly...

"HIKU!"

(wait... wrong saying...)

"HASAGI!"

(Nonononono!)

"_Lath Rian Oune Vi Jia!_"

(Godammnit...)

"HAAAA!"

(Jeez, that is the simplest battle cry ever. But the right one.)

The door burst down in a burst of green magic and Riven ran into the room, broken sword at the ready. Her amber eyes quickly took in the scene, confusion flitting across her face briefly before being replaced by calm.

She dashed forwards and slashed at LeBlanc, who disappeared and materialized a few feet away. The bonds holding Katarina in place vanished and the assassin crumpled to the floor.

LeBlanc wasn't happy. "Fuck those stupid generic movies and novels where the victim always gets saved..."

The Matron of the Black Rose disappeared again, only to reappear halfway across the room yelling in pain, a sharp blade of Ionian steel embedded in her side.

Lux stepped through the wreckage of the door, baton at the ready. "I heard screaming. Should've known it would be a Noxian." She huffed as a cage of light sprung up around LeBlanc.

Irelia wasn't far behind. "Riven! Are you ok?" She asked worriedly as her blade flew out of LeBlanc's side.

The Exile nodded, "I'm fine."

Three pairs of eyes looked over to where Katarina was still lying on the ground.

"Can't say the same for her, though..." Riven said with a trace of sympathy in her voice.

Even injured and in pain, Katarina still wouldn't let her pride take a hit. "I'm fine." She hissed out, shakily getting to her feet. Her skin was red and even black in some places where the chains had touched, a criss-cross of scorch marks running up and down her arms.

Lux wasn't convinced. "Let's get them to the infirmary..."

"Wait..." Katarina gasped, "Ashe..."

"...?"

The assassin rolled her eyes. "Ashe. Is. In. Trouble." She explained, enunciating each word slowly.

"I'll can go look for her. You two should get them to the infirmary." Suggested the Lady of Luminosity. Irelia and Riven nodded.

**The infirmary...**

"Would this go under 'Angry Noxian' or 'Other'?"

"I don't think LeBlanc was angry... Put it under 'Other'."

"I'll ask."  
Irelia looked over at where LeBlanc was lying on the floor, still bound in a light cage. "Hey LeBlanc, were you angry when you attacked Katarina?"

LeBlanc groaned. "Just knock on the damned door already!"

Irelia rolled her eyes and rapped on the door twice.

No answer.

Katarina sighed. "I don't think she'll be answering anytime soon."

The door opened.

Everyone blinked in disbelief.

Sona smiled and held up a piece of paper which read, _"Hello, Soraka is out on temporary leave. I will be her substitute until her return!"_

**A few minutes later...**

Swain walked into the infirmary and shut the door behind him. Katarina was out on pain meds and snoring in the corner, Sona was in the office doing... Stuff, which left LeBlanc on a cot staring blankly at the ceiling.

"So... What happened?" The Master Tactician asked. The Deceiver gave him a wry smile and began her explanation.

"I surprised Ashe in her room earlier today and disguised myself as her before going out to meet the Sheriff of Piltover and co by the entryway. I'd planned to use her position as Queen of the Avarosans to find out more about their plans and secrets, maybe even form an alliance with the Winter's Wrath. Albeit, I hadn't known about the Freljordians being locked up in Freljord, so their return surprised me. I also hadn't known that it had been Ashe's doing, which also surprises me. She is more resourceful than I'd originally anticipated. Nevertheless, I played along and 'fought' Sejuani, although all along, I was uninjured and about ten feet away.

But then Katarina came." LeBlanc hissed. "She ruined everything."

Swain chuckled. "Did she now?"

"I'd heard the rumours, of course. That she was in a secret romance with someone. But I hadn't counted on it being Ashe. I mean, she's a _Freljordian_ _Queen,_ while the Sinister Blade is a _Noxian assassin._"

"I'll admit, this pairing surprised even me."

LeBlanc ignored him, continuing on with her story, "I knew that I would have no chance of keeping up the charade for very long, as she would know Ashe better than I. I'd actually planned to... Knock her out of the picture, but alas, she attacked _me_ first."

Swain was silent. And then he realized something. "Wait, so _you_ were in the infirmary earlier, not Ashe?"

LeBlanc nodded.

"And you were uninjured?"

Another nod.

"You did it! _YOU_ were the one who spoiled the season finale of the Culling of the Weak!" Swain accused, anger welling up inside of him.

The Deceiver smirked. "Wasn't that a great idea? I was planning to use the chaos to escape, but I never got the chance..."

The Master Tactician didn't hear anything apart from the affirmative. "You... You..."

He raised a hand, magic forming into a dark orb. "You... Little..."

LeBlanc's eyes widened. _'Shit...'_

* * *

**A/N: The End is Upon Us**

**FRUIT NINJAS. THAT SCENE HAS BEEN IN MY HEAD FOREVER.**

**This chapter took me awhile, and I have no excuses other than pure laziness and writer's block. I wrote myself into a little corner last chapter, as some of you started speculating that something was up with Ashe. I figured that it was actually a good idea, and I'd originally never even thought of it (Ashe was supposed to actually be Ashe last chapter Q.Q)**

**I'd planned to carry on with Ashe as normal, but then I realized something.  
This story is called Snowdown _Chaos_. And that idea... would've led to more chaos.**

**So naturally I decided to incorporate it. I actually haven't had the time to proofread anything, although I did change some stuff from the last chapter (like thoughts that only Ashe would have) so that this one would be possible.**

_Also, apologies for OOC LeBlanc! No excuses other than: This is a humour fic, and will not always be canon with the lore. _

**SHAMELESS ADVERTISING, AS I THINK YOU'VE NOTICED. FOR ALL YOU KATASHE SHIPPERS OUT THERE LOOKING FOR MORE KATASHE FICS, YOU SHOULD CHECK OUT Dark Antiris' The Culling of the Weak if you haven't already! I've just started Beta'ing for it as well, so that's another place where I'm spending my time instead of writing this story :D :D :D**

_Snowdown Chaos is coming to a close. The next chapter WILL be the last chapter, although it certainly doesn't feel that way, especially because I haven't been hinting at it in the chapters as I should have... _

_And because of that, the update will take significantly longer._

_It may be out in a month, it may also be out on January 11, as that is when the first chapter was published and I'm big on the theatrics. But if it comes to that, don't worry! I have a bunch of deleted and alternate scenes that I can upload in the meantime :D as well as 2 other stories which are nowhere close to finished and 2 in the works. _

_Lastly, I have to thank everybody for sticking around this long through this story. It is to you, the readers, that I am forever grateful because it is thanks to you that the story has even gotten this far. So thank you, and please keep reviewing! :D_

**So again, apologies for the late update, here's an alternate scene of LeBlanc revealing her true intentions...**

Snowdown Chaos chapter 21 alternate scene

Masking the pain as anger, she glared at LeBlanc with as much hate and anger as she could muster, "I don't care if you kill me, but what the fuck have you done with Ashe?!"

"The Frost Archer? She's alive, if that's what you mean." LeBlanc drawled. "But really? You're not going to ask for my motive, even though I'm one of those villains who loves taking her time right before she kills someone to tell them all about her evil plan, only to realize that stalling the victim's iminent demise was a terrible mistake as someone else comes to save them?"

"... No, I couldn't care less what your fucking plan was."

"WELL TOO BAD."

Golden chains wrapped around Katarina's arms and legs, immobilizing her against the wall.

(OOC LeBlanc I know, but a) this is humour and b) I couldn't figure out a better way to reveal her motive... Other than the Swain scene.)

LeBlanc cleared her throat. "I surprised Ashe in her room earlier today and disguised myself as her before going out to meet the Sheriff of Piltover and co by the entryway. I'd planned to use her position as Queen of the Avarosans to find out more about their plans and secrets, maybe even form an alliance with the Winter's Wrath. Albeit, I hadn't known about the Freljordians being locked up in Freljord, so their return surprised me. I also hadn't known that it had been Ashe's doing, which also surprises me. She is more resourceful than I'd originally anticipated."

Katarina yawned. LeBlanc snapped her fingers in front of the assassin's face, "Hey! You need to be awake!"

"Fuck off."

She cleared her throat again. "As I was saying, the Frost Archer is more resourceful than I'd originally anticipated. Nevertheless, I played along and 'fought' Sejuani, although all along, I was uninjured and about ten feet away.  
But then _you _came." LeBlanc hissed. "You ruined everything."

That got Katarina's attention. "What?"

"I'd heard the rumours, of course. That you were in a secret romance with someone. But I hadn't counted on it being Ashe. I mean, she's a Freljordian Queen and you're a Noxian assassin."

"I take offense to that, bitch!"

LeBlanc ignored her, continuing on with her story, "I knew that I would have no chance of keeping up the charade for very long, as you would know Ashe better than I. I'd actually planned to attack you the moment you stepped out the door. Alas, you got to me before I got to you..."

Katarina snorted. "When's the part where you get attacked and I get saved?"

-Cue Riven's dramatic entrance-

**:D See you around!**


	24. Bonus Clip: Ashe

**Bonus Clip- Ashe **

**Earlier...**

"Well, they aren't all _your_ people... Some of them are Sejuani's. And Lissandra's. And- I'll shut up now." Akali relented under Ashe's piercing glare. All of a sudden, the Frost Archer's hands moved from her hips to her midsection and she groaned.

"I'll be right back..."

Ashe rushed back into her room and slammed the door, groaning as she staggered to the bathroom. A few minutes later, she came back out looking slightly better, only to be confronted by a certain barely-clothed Noxian.

(No. Not Katarina. I wish... Oh that sounded bad...)

"Frost Archer." LeBlanc purred.

"Noxian whore..." Ashe snapped back.

"Poro!" Squeaked Ashe's poro from behind the Deciever.

...

"What the hell do you want and what are you doing in my room!?" The Queen growled in a very OOC manner.

LeBlanc replied with an evil grin. Suddenly, Ashe felt someone grab her from behind. Squirming and swearing, she turned her head to see another LeBlanc holding her.

"Hey! What the hell! Let me go! We are on Institute grounds!" The Frost Archer yelled, hoping that the people in the hallway could hear her. But they couldn't.

LeBlanc blew some sort of powder into Ashe's face, and the archer collapsed into unconsciousness.

**After the fight...**

Katarina rolled her eyes. "Ashe. Is. In. Trouble." She explained, enunciating each word slowly.

"I can go look for her. You two should get them to the infirmary." Suggested Lux. Irelia and Riven nodded.

Lux headed out the door, twirling her baton.

_'If I was a psychopathic Noxian mage, where would I hide Ashe?'_

...

...

...

_'Nope. Nada.'_

She contemplated going back to search Ashe's room, but figured that it was highly unlikely that the Frost Archer was there. But then again, wasn't that the last place that anyone would look? So in a way, that would be the ideal place to hide her...

Lux turned around and walked back to Ashe's room.

**A few minutes later...**

Nope. Zilch. Nada.

Lux walked, defeated and head bowed, out of her friend's room.

If only someone could help her track Ashe down...

...

...

"DEMAGLIO!"

"What?! Who's there?!" Lux snapped her head up and looked frantically around. On a whim, she turned and looked down.

"Gnar gada!" Squealed the Missing Link, bouncing around in an adorable dinosaur onesie.

"Awwww...!" Lux cooed, scooping the little yordle up into her arms. "Did you get wost on the way to your woom?"

"... Okanooo?" Gnar cocked his head to the side and jumped out of Lux's arm. He ran a little way and then turned, thumping his tail on the ground. "Reeshoova!"

The Lady of Luminosity scrunched her brow and narrowed her eyes. "You want me to follow you?"

"Hursh, rao!"

He bounded out of the hall.

"Hey, wait up!" Lux called, scrambling to follow the ancient yordle. Gnar ran out of the East Wing and into the North Wing, prompting Lux to hesitate for a moment.

_'This is for Ashe...'_ She took a deep breath. She let it out. And then she willingly stepped into the North Wing corridor.

Gnar kept running, giving Lux no time to consider what would happen if a Noxian caught her in there.

Eventually, the Missing Link stopped in front of a door and pawed at it. "Nakotak! Wap hwa!"

Out of breath, Lux came to a stop outside of the door. "... You want to go in there?"  
By way of answer, Gnar started growling and trembling, his tiny form expanding. Recognizing the signs from many, many battles on the Rift, the Demacian stepped back quickly.

Mega Gnar roared and charged down the door. Dust and shrapnel exploded everywhere, and Lux quickly raised her baton, casting a shield.

Once the debris settled, she saw a teeny little yordle sitting proudly on a heap of rubble, licking his paw. The dino onesie was now a pile of shredded fabric.

Gnar glanced up, looking kind of smug. If that was even possible. "Demaglio!"

"... Remind me to never get on your bad side..." Lux whispered. "Sometimes, I forget how terrifying you can truly be."

No answer.

The Demacian sighed and peeked into the room. Her eyes widened.

Black roses everywhere.

It was LeBlanc's room.

She looked back at the yordle. "GNAR! You brought me to LeBlanc's room! Oh, you adorable little Demacian helper! I love youuu~!"

"De...ma...glio..." Gnar choked out through the tight hug he was being given.

Lux giggled. "Demaglio!"

She let go of the yordle and rushed into the room.

"... Shoo shoo? Bahnah!... Vigishu habwa..." Gnar grumbled to himself behind the mage.

The room was large, but not overly so. Tastefully decorated.

Lux didn't know what she'd expected; shark tanks? Dead bodies? Mutilated poro's?  
She shivered at the last option.

The only thing out of the ordinary was a large gilded cage against the far wall. It was even made out of gold.

Lux turned to the cage and immediately started running towards it. "ASHE!"

The Frost Archer lay inside the cage, an unconscious heap on the polished golden floor. At least she was alive...

OR WAS SHE?  
DUN DUN DUNNN

Ok yes she was alive.

The Demacian stopped before the cage. _'Crap. How am I going to get her out...'_

Tentatively, she reached reached for one of the vertical bars of the cage. As soon as she touched it, she jerked her hand back.

Similar to Katarina's bonds, these hurt like a mothafucka.

_'Wait... If the metal burns, then how is Ashe not frying on the floor?' _Lux mused to herself. Although she was glad that her friend wasn't a pile of ashes by now (pun intended), it was quite puzzling.

And then she noticed the faint purple aura around the archer.

Lux groaned. Mages were soooo annoying.

She realized how much of a hypocrite she was being and then groaned again, amending her thought.

_Noxian_ mages were soooo annoying.

**To be continued...**

**A/N: IN HIATUS?**

**Important info is bolded. Story specific A/N is not.**

So a two-part rescue mission that is absolutely terrible? Yeah!

**GENTLEMAN GNAR I AM SO SORRY. HERE IS GNAR, WHO WAS SUPPOSED TO BE IN THE LAST CHAPTER BUT WASN'T BECAUSE I CUT OUT THE RESCUE MISSION D:**

Didn't edit this one, expect many errors and apologies xD

anyways, here's the hiatus stuff...

**[Written seperately]**

**Hey guys… So i'm thinking of quitting fanfiction.**

**Jk haha. But I will be taking a short break.**

**I don't know if you have noticed, but all of my projects have been put 'In Hiatus'. This is only until I feel like writing again.**

**If you read any of my other stories, you may notice that everything has been updated. This is because I wanted to get this author's note out to you guys, so you didn't have to wonder about my update speed. **

**Writing is a true passion of mine, but for now, I think I will take a break from it. I've been slaving over these latest updates; TIOLL took me 2 months to churn out that shitty 4000 word chapter, and I would rather update again in 5 months than give you quality like that while also stressing myself out. And it's stressful. I don't really want to write these stories anymore, so I will be taking a short break from them until I feel ready to delve into this humour mindset again. Plus, my life has just gotten plenty busier so I wouldn't even be able to find the time really to put fingers to keyboard and write chappies for you guys.**

**That said, I will still check my PM's, reviews, Docx, and other things daily, so if you want to chat or ask for my Beta services, I'm still available!**

**Lastly, I want to say that I'm sorry. It seems that some of you seem to genuinely enjoy my stories, to which I am eternally grateful, and I feel awful about stopping the updates, even if only for a temporary period :(**

**This part of the author's notes will be the same for each of my stories. So if you want to read the story-specific ones, they will be in bold above this one. **

**Thank you for sticking with me up until this point; I have no words to thank you with, and I do hope that I continue to produce worthy content!**

**Ending things on a positive note, I have a new poll on my profile; Snowdown Chaos is drawing to an end, which means that there will be a new story up sooner or later. Vote for the one you want to see uploaded! Or PM me if you must haha!**

**Well, thanks again, and I'm so sorry. Best of luck in literature!**

**~Creator0fWords**


	25. Chapter 14 Alternate Ending

**_WARNING: DO NOT READ THIS UNTIL YOU HAVE READ CHAPTER 22!_**

**Hopefully you read the title...  
Anyways, this is an alternate ending for Chapter 14! If you're too lazy to go back and read it, I'll give you a quick recap: Remember when Katarina still hadn't revealed whom she'd been dating yet, and Vi wouldn't stop pestering her? Yeah. That chapter. Just for those of you who seriously still cannot remember, the beginning part up until after Vi tells Kat to give her a hint is directly from chapter 14; from then on, it is the alternate ending.  
So... Enjoy!**

* * *

**Later that day, at the mess hall…**

2 hours. 2 hours, and she was _still_ asking her.

"Jayce? Ezreal? Zed?" Vi listed, sitting down next to Katarina in the mess hall. The Noxian glared at her. "You've already asked that!"

"And you could've been lying!"

"How do you know that I won't _keep on lying_?!"

Vi shrugged. "You'll slip up eventually."

Katarina rolled her eyes. If Caitlyn hadn't taken all of her weapons already (including the one in her bra), and was keeping a very close eye on her with her sniper rifle, Vi would be in the infirmary already. Or dead in a dumpster.

"Good luck with that." She said, biting into a slice of bread.

**10 minutes later…**

"Yasuo? Irelia? Akali? *gasp* It's Akali, isn't it!" Vi exclaimed. She was caught up on what had happened at the restaurant, thanks to a very chatty Lux.

Katarina stabbed the table with her fork. "For fucks sake, will you SHUT THE HELL UP ALREADY?!"

"No. At least give me a hint." Vi responded.

Katarina didn't know what made her do it. Maybe it was her low tolerance for other people. Maybe it was her anger from losing her weapons. Maybe it was because Vi was annoying as fuck. Maybe it was because her patience was finally starting to wear thin, and the anger and annoyance clouded her better judgement.

But she still did it.

"ASHE! IT'S ASHE!" She yelled, standing up and shoving her chair back. "ARE YOU FUCKING HAPPY NOW? WILL YOU PLEASE SHUT THE FUCK UP NOW?!"

*silence*

The other champions stared, confused.

Ashe's eyes widened. Lux gasped and looked over at Ashe. Caitlyn was so shocked that Vi had succeeded that the name hadn't even registered to her yet. Leona dropped her fork. Akali choked on her pasta.

Vi stared. And then she smiled.

"Yes, I'm happy now."

Katarina closed her eyes and took deep breaths to calm herself down… And then the reality of what she'd just done settled onto her.

Her green eyes flashed open and locked, horrified, onto Ashe.

"How long…?" Lux whispered to her friend.

Ashe thought for a bit. She pulled out her phone, went onto a , searched up Wounded by NyokaKione, and checked the date.

"Umm… It was updated during the first month of last year… And it's the third month now… So, about a year and 2 months, give or take a couple of weeks."

"It started because of a Fanfiction?!" Caitlyn asked incredulously, peering over Ashe's shoulder. The Frost Archer met Katarina's gaze and smiled. "No. Wounded seems to actually kind of follow our lives; most of that stuff actually did happen, except for the involvement of Noxus… And some of the Tryndamere parts…"

Katarina nodded.

The other champions in the room slowly unfroze.

Shyvana wolf-whistled. "Nice job keeping it a secret!"

Garen felt his heart shatter (again).

* * *

**A/N: I'm a horrible person, I know... I'd actually forgotten that I hadn't updated this story yet, so I decided to do so today! Because this is so short, I'll probably have another part up sometime soon- maybe tomorrow, or the day after, or the day after that... Depends!**

_**And for those of you who read TIOLL, don't worry, I haven't abandoned my (second) latest brainchild!... Yet.**_

**Aaaand for those who want something ANGSTY... Maybe you should read the one-shot I posted a while back titled 'Hold me Close'.**

**Maybe you can see why I decided to go with a different ending for chapter 14- this was a little too fast-paced and confusing, not to mention completely and utterly random (hypocrite that I am being; most of the pairings in here come out as random as an ARAM match) but I decided to save it, because why not?**

**Hope you enjoyed, and as always, see you next ti-**

_*Muffled screaming*_

_*Garbled yelling*_

_*Angry cursing*_

**Creator0fWords:** -the FUCK man you can't just barge into my room like that!

**Mysterious Person:** I very well can. Now what are you up to?

**Creator0fWords:** None of your fucking business, now GTFO before I hit you with my cactus! -points at cactus on table-

**Mysterious Person:** You better not, or I'm stabbing your computer with a butter knife.

**Creator:** *gasp* You wouldn't! -curls around computer protectively-

**Mysterious Assailant:** ... You're weird. Anyways, how is progress on your new story?

**Creator:** -Loosens grip on computer slightly- Wait, how do you know about that?

**Mysterious Assailant:** ... I have my ways...

**Creator:** Please don't tell me there's a camera in here.

**Mysterious Stalker:** ...

**Creator:** OMG, YOU FUCKING CREEP!

**Creepo:** SAYS THE PERSON WHO SL-

**Creator:** SILENCE, PEASANT!

**Creep:** ...

**Creator:** I haven't gotten around to finishing the first chapter yet, happy?! I'm planning on releasing it after I finish TIOLL.

**Mysterious Dude:** K. Bye.

*Sound of door closing and pot breaking*

**Creator:** Fuck. I missed.

**-turns back around to computer-**

***ahem* where was I. Oh, yes.**

**See you all next time!**

**XOXO~ Creator0fWords**


	26. Chapter 18 Deleted Scene II

**Horrible person that I am, I forgot about the thing I was supposed to upload...  
-sheepish grin-  
Anyways, so I scrounged for the first thing I could upload as fast as I could o-o  
This was the only deleted segment that was more than like 2 sentences, and even remotely readable, so... Here you go and don't hate me please...!**

* * *

A quiet, tranquil morning.

Akali woke up feeling… Different. Lighter, somehow. Happier.

Ah, who was she kidding. It was _never_ a tranquil morning at the Institute.

The Kinkou ninja got up, stretched, watered her little Bonsai plant (which she'd named Shen Jr II), and started to meditate on the floor. A few minutes later, she heard a light knocking on the door. One dark brown eye opened, and then closed again.

The knocking started once more.

Heaving a great sigh, Akali got up and opened the door. "Yes?"

Katarina raised an eyebrow at her. "What are you wearing?"

The Fist of Shadow glanced down only to notice that she was wearing-

She slammed the door shut. It reopened a couple of seconds later, and she was now dressed in her usual outfit.

The Sinister Blade blinked. "Ok… Well, uh, I need to ask you a question…"

**A couple of minutes later…**

"And that was when I decided to come here." Katarina finished. "What should I do?"

Akali smirked. "Well, when Shen doesn't talk to me, I just ignore him. You should try it, too. They'll come crawling back to you in no time."

The Noxian looked hopefully at one of her only friends. "You think?"

"I _know_."

The two headed off to breakfast together, gossiping and sharing hair tips.

* * *

**SIKE  
There's more!**

**Bonus Clip- Piece of Cake  
Note: Not completely canon to the rest of the Snowdown Chaos story :p**

* * *

The door slammed in Riven's face, narrowly missing the Exile's nose.

She sighed, scratching at the back of her neck and scuffing her sandals against the door.

_'You eat the last piece of cake all of _one_ time and your girlfriend kicks you out of the room...'_ Riven thought dejectedly, turning and slumping out of the East Wing. The Exile started when she felt something bump into her foot, looking down to see that it was Gnar.

What happened next was totally unexpected.

The ball Gnar had been balancing on his head rolled away to trip Lucian, who thought Thresh was attacking him for some reason, causing him to shoot a hole into the wall and straight into Shyvana's bathroom. The Demacian half-dragon, who had been taking a nice, relaxing bubble bath, bolted upright (bubbles thankfully censoring her 'lady bits') and glared out the hole, fire spraying out of it and singeing Lucian's hair. Mortified, the Purifier ran out of the hall, pushing both Riven and Gnar aside. Gnar was not happy about being bumped into a second time and started convulsing, his small form ballooning into his bigger Mega form.

The Exile's eyes widened and she dove out of the East Wing just in time, as Gnar reared back on his hind legs and took out half the ceiling. Rubble and debris rained down upon the ancient yordle, who roared loudly and shook his head, taking out even MORE of the nearby wall.

Quinn and Ashe respectively blinked as their walls were suddenly ripped down, revealing the insides of their room for all to see.

Katarina was not happy about her 'cuddling time' being interrupted and flung a knife at Gnar, while Talon, miffed that the wall had been rudely smashed down in the midst of an intense game of Mario Kart against Quinn, launched his own barrage of blades at the offending yordle.

Gnar roared again as sharp steel dug into his hide and bucked, the pain lancing through his sides. More chunks of plaster rained down, and he ran deeper into the halls of the East Wing, ripping down even more walls and disrupting the private times of even more champions.

Riven blinked and guiltily backed away, freezing as she felt her back hit something.

Darius glared down at her. "Watch where you're going, punk."

The Exile took a step back. "Sorry."

But the general wasn't done yet. "Did you just apologize? Apologies don't solve anything- they are a waste of time and breath. Only action truly atones for anything."

_'This does not sound good…'_ Riven thought, reaching for her sword only to realize that it was still back in Irelia's room.

_'Shit.'_

Darius' axe dented the wall as Riven quickly ducked out of the way and jumped into the entrance of the West Wing.

The axe was yanked out of the wall and Darius grunted as he swung once again for Riven, missing completely and taking out a chunk of wall.

The Exile backed up and fell into a fighting stance, ready to fight armed with only her fists and wits.

But she didn't have to.

As Darius missed his next swing thanks to Riven's agility, he cleaved open the door to Vi's room… Where the Enforcer had been napping on the couch.

Startled awake, Vi squinted angrily through the hole in her door at Darius. "Oi! What the fuck was that, meathead?!"

The Noxian turned to see Vi charging a punch and growled, but he was too slow to dodge as the Piltovian smashed her gauntlet into the middle of his chestplate, sending him flying into the opposite wall… And straight into Jarvan's room.

Riven straightened up from her fighting stance and blinked.

'… Maybe I should have just begged Irelia to let me back into her room…'

* * *

**A/N: And in traditional SC (Snowdown Chaos) style, that bonus clip was random as fuck and *hopefully* slightly entertaining.  
**

**Welp! Not much else to say, I guess. Thanks for all the Reviews! Love them, always!**

**So, I guess that's i-**

**-knock knock-**

**Creator: ***groan* not this aga-

**-sound of door breaking-**

**Intruder:** Sup! Wachu do-

**Creator: -whips out a dartgun and shoots the intruder-**

**-sound of someone falling to the ground-**

***ahem* Welp, cya later!**

**~Creator**


End file.
